catfacts

relating to, but not limited to, witchcraft & witchery. may or may not contain triggers, categorized by good/bad/neutral as requested.  please proceed to read/reblog with caution.

GOOD  MAGIC

❛ not all spells are bad, you must stray away from the bad magic. ❜  ❛ there’s nothing wrong with a bit of magic, as long as it’s for the good. ❜  ❛ you’re like a vase and the magic is the water.  ❜  ❛ i don’t need magic to see that. ❜  ❛ not every spell is considered to be bad. ❜  ❛ this spell book here contains no such bad magic nor will it ever. ❜  ❛ i’m working up a new potion. it’s for the greater good, of course. ❜  ❛ i’ve never used my powers/magic for anything but good things. ❜  ❛ there is no competition with magic, you either possess, or you don’t. ❜  ❛ no one power/magic is better nor greater than the other. ❜  ❛ remember, everything you learn is to be used for good. ❜ ❛ you think every witch/sorcerer is bad? do i look evil to you?  ❜  ❛ i’ve only ever used my magic/powers for good. ❜  ❛ it’s not the magic/powers that are bad, it’s the person who possesses it. ❜    ❛ there is good and bad in everything, you must always chose to be good. ❜  ❛ my powers/magic are not a weapon! i will not be treated as such! ❜  ❛ i cannot help you with your wishes, it’s far too evil. ❜  ❛ magic is a delicate thing and i treat it as such. ❜  ❛ i don’t always use magic/my powers, i don’t always need to. ❜  ❛ it is a blessing not a curse, it’s only a curse if you wish to do evil. ❜  ❛ i did come here to show off my powers/magic, what do you take me for? ❜  ❛ i’m not a witch! i’m a person possessing magic. big difference. ❜  ❛ these are healing potions, they will heal just about any form of life. ❜  ❛ the good always outweighs the bad, just remember that. ❜  ❛ it’s best to use magic/powers when you understand them.  ❜ 

BAD  MAGIC

❛ i’ve never used magic for anything other than evil. ❜ ❛ i will be the greatest and the most powerful, mark my words. ❜ ❛ i’ve hexed so many people, i’ve lost count. ❜ ❛ a curse is never easy to lift, hence the sole purpose of it. ❜ ❛ what’s the point in having powers/magic, if you don’t take advantage? ❜ ❛ you have always abused your magical privileges.  ❜ ❛ i wouldn’t use my powers/magic for the good if it was life and death. ❜ ❛ you really only know how to cast curses/hexes? ❜ ❛ i specialize in curses and hexes only, anything else is just noise. ❜ ❛ shhh, you shouldn’t even speak of such dark magic. ❜ ❛ this book is full of the darkest magic you’ll ever read. ❜ ❛ what is the difference between voodoo and dark magic? ❜ ❛ dark magic is wonderful, you learn the most from it. ❜ ❛ there are so many hexes/curses to cast, i never know which one to pick. ❜   ❛ have you ever had a curse/hex casted upon you? ❜ ❛ there is no such thing as good magic. ❜ ❛ why are you so wicked with such a beautiful gift? ❜ ❛ you do not deserve to possess magic/powers. ❜ ❛ i’ve got a wicked idea in mind, want to hear? it involves magic. ❜ ❛ the best magic of all, of course, is dark magic. ❜ ❛ have you ever wanted to step into voodoo? ❜ ❛ this a book of dark magic/voodoo, but it is not easy to open. ❜ ❛ you have to do a sacrifice to get this dark magic/voodoo book open. ❜ ❛ have you ever participated in voodoo ritual? it’s very liberating. ❜ ❛ all of these spells contain blood and sacrifice… ❜

NEUTRAL  MAGIC

this meme is based on this wonderful positive blog.

“I ate a man alive tonight.”

“Time to manhandle this…man-handle.”

“Darn beautiful men, always eating out of the trash–Wait, what?”

“And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for like three hours! Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk.”

“Jean-Paul Sartre postulated that every living thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.” 

“Totally righteous, bro!”

“The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand!”

“Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!”

“Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?! Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!”

“You deserve a prize. Here, have a head that’s always screaming!”

“Studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own ten guns–in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!”

“I’m a boy now! Wassup bro? Let’s grow some moustaches!”

“I ate a salamander and jumped out of the window!”

“Always sassafrassing the customers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants!”

“Llamas are nature’s greatest warriors.”

“And that’s why we don’t stick our hands in other people’s mouths!”

“What? YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AT THE COTILLION, YOU!”

“I smell…emotional issues.”

“YOUR MATH IS NO MATCH FOR MY GUN, YOU IDIOT!”

“You’ve become your father.”

“The dance floor is a mine field! A mine field!”

“Ugh, we’re behind that old guy. He’s probably going to pay with pennies, or war bonds or something.”

“Woah, that’s amazing! And morally ambiguous!”

“Its like if coffee and nightmares had a baby.”

“Am I a man? Am I a baby? These are legitimate questions.”

“Who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car!?”

“IT WORKS FOR PIIIIIIIIIIIIGS!”

“Wanna see my impression of you in 5 seconds? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“Haha, pain is hilarious!”

“Deer teeth, for you, kid!”

“GAZE UPON DEATH! GAZE UPON DEATH! GAZE UPON DEATH!”

“Help! The nachos tricked me!”

“I’m gonna wear your butt on my foot like a rhinestone slipper!”

“Oh no, I think I can hear my uncle. Stay perfectly still”

“They made the house into a robot… Fascinating.”

“I hate my dumb heart for making me feel things!“

“Today I learned morality is relative.”

“There’s no cops in the forest. We take this to our graves.”

“HOT BELGIUM WAFFLES! Wait…I’m alone! I can swear for real! SON OF A— “

“My heart, once as hard as oak, now grows soft like more of a birch or… something.”

“It’s Heaven’s punishment for our terrible taste in everything!”

“I will pay you to put your shirt back on.”

“Hey, is the kitchen supposed to have that much fire in it?”

“Dinosaurs aren’t magic, they’re just big lizards!”

“Finally! A good reason to punch a teenager in the face!”

“You can run, but I’ll still be in your nightmares!”

“Sometimes I think: Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we’re all just biding our time until the sweet sweet, release of death?”

“I’m legalizing everything!”

“Man, revenge is underrated - that felt awesome!”

“I think I’m gonna go stare at a wall for a while and rethink everything.”

complies THIS MEME // THIS MEME // THIS MEME

ADD ++ FOR REVERSE

[ attention ] for your muse to touch mine as a way of getting their attention

[ wake ] for your muse to wake mine

[ cover ]  for your muse to cover mine with a blanket or a jacket

[ lift ] for your muse to give mine a hand stepping up or over something etc.

[ kiss ]  for your muse to come up to mine and kiss them without warning

[ run ] for your muse to run their fingers through mine’s hair

[ braid ] for your muse to braid mine’s hair

[ embrace ]  for your muse to hold mine

[ smile ] for your muse to smile at mine from across the room

[ wave ] for your muse to gesture to mine to come closer

[ panic ] for your muse to grab mine’s arm or get behind them in a moment of danger

[ touch ] for your muse to rest their forehead against mine’s

[ weep ]  for your muse to catch mine crying

[ eat ] for your muse to offer mine food

[ hit ] for your muse to attack mine

[ love ] for your muse to touch mine as a show of affection or reassurance

[ nap ] for your muse to fall asleep against mine

[ rest ] for your muse to rest their head in mine’s lap

[ look ] for your muse to catch mine staring

[ seduce ] for your muse to touch mine sexually

[ help ] for your muse to lean on mine for support

[ give ] for your muse to offer mine their arm

[ entwine ] for your muse to hold mine’s hand

[ laugh ] for your muse to laugh at something mine did

[ dance ] for your muse to dance with mine

[ sit ] for your muse to pull mine into their lap

[ yell ] for your muse to calm mine down

[ cry ] for your muse to wipe mine’s tears away

[ dream ] for my muse to share dream with yours

[ nightmare ] for your muse to wake mine from a nightmare

[ surprise ] for your muse to show up at mine’s house without explanation

[ fix ] for your muse to treat mine’s injury

[ sacrifice ] for your muse to get hurt protecting mine

[ guard ] for your muse to step between my muse and danger

[ taste ] for your muse to cook for mine

[ sing ] for your muse to sing to mine 

[ goodbye ] for my muse kissing and/or hugging your muse goodbye

[ secrets ]   my  muse  sharing/confiding  a secret

[ bloody ]   for your  muse  coming  to  my  muse  with  blood  stains 

[ drunk ]   your  muse  takes  care  of my very drunk muse 

[ bed ]  my  muse wakes up in  the  same bed as your muse with little  recollection  of  the  night  before

[ scream ]   my  muse  hears  your  muse  scream  and  runs  to  them

[ trail ]   my  muse  watches  as  your  muse  traces  one  of  my  muses  scars,  asking  them  about  it

[ piggyback ]   my  muse  gives  yours  a  piggyback  ride

[ jump ]   my  muse  holding  yours  up  by  their  thighs

[ carry ]   my  muse  carries  your  muse  to  their  house

[ lighter ]   my  muse  pulls  out  a  lighter  and  lights  it  for  your  muse  to  use  to  light  their  cigarette

[ shot ] my  muse  gets  shot  and  struggles  to  your  muses for aid

[ wound ] my  muse  patches  and  bandages  a  wound  your  muse  has  gotten

[ fight ]   my  muse  stops  your  muse  from  getting  into  a  physical  fight  with  someone  else

[ arrest ]   your  muse  finds  my  muse  arrested  in  cuffs  

[ hospital ]   my  muse  awakens  in  a  hospital,  finding  your  muse  by  their  side,  asking  what  happened

[ betrayal ] my  muse  finds  out  that  your  muse  has  betrayed  them and  confronts  them  about  it

[ nude ] my  muse  walks  in  on  your  muse  accidentally  seeing  them  naked

[ karaoke ]  for our muses to sing together

[ wet ]   your muse  strips  down  to  their  under  garments  and  runs  into  the  water,  motioning  for my muse  to  join  them

[ crawl ]  for  your  muse  to  crawl  into  bed  with  mine .

[ flower ]  for  your  muse  to  offer  my  muse  their  favourite  flower

[ gift ]  for  my  muse  to  surprise  your muse  with  a  gift

[ homemade gift ]  for  my  muse  to  make  your muse  a  gift

[ bestow ] for your muse to give my muse a gift, bought or handmade ( bonus if you add what it is )

[ serenade ]  for  my  muse  to  sing  to  your  muse

[ caress ]  for  your  muse  to  gently  run  their  hand  down  my  muse’s  face

[ caught ]  for  your  muse  to  catch  my  muse  wearing  their  shirt .

[ love letter ]  for  your  muse  to  give  my  muse  a  love  letter  they  wrote  for  them

[ boop ]  for  your  muse  to  boop  my  muse  on  the  nose

[ date ]  for  my muse  to  ask  your  muse  to  go  on  a  date

[ confess ]  for my muse  to  confess  their  feelings  to  your  muse

Favorite way to receive affection? 

Favorite way to give affection?

Non-sexual thing that always makes the muse melt?

Places they don’t like being touched non-sexually?

Do they like giving nicknames to their significant other?

Do they like being called a nickname?

What’s something their significant other can do to make them feel safe?

What’s the best way to calm down your muse when they’re angry?

Little things your muse does to show their significant other they care?

PDA that’s a definite ‘no’?

Does your muse want to have kids? If so, how many and what’s the reasoning behind the number?

Are they loud and proud about their relationships, or do they keep it private?

Do they workout or put on makeup for their significant other?

Do dirty jokes go over their head, or are they the one making the dirty jokes?

Do they find a need to be in a relationship, or do they have a ‘if it happens it happens’ feeling?

What food or drink can be given to them to show that their partner really cares?

Is your muse good with kids? What ages?

Would your muse be the one doing most of the cooking or not?

SELF + HEALTH

how do they see themselves?  

how do they want to be seen by others?

what is their life motto?

would they rather lead or follow? 

what motivates them?

are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue?

do they have any pet peeves?

what do they most regret?

what achievement are they most proud of? 

what would they like to improve on?

do they have any scars?

do they have a disability?

do they have any allergies or food intolerances?

do they have any long-term illnesses or injuries?

PERSONALITY

describe their personality in one word.

their predominant emotion?

someone wrongs them. do they respond with revenge or forgiveness?

do they make snap judgments or take time to consider? 

are they a glass half-full or a glass half-empty kind of person?

do they express themselves through words or deeds? 

how often do they lie?

do they listen to their head or their heart while making a decision?

HABITS

how organized/disorganized are they?

do they have any routines?

talk about their mannerisms.

is there an item they take with them wherever they go?

good habits and bad habits.

THOUGHTS

their views on formal education vs self-education?

what are their thoughts on animals?

how much do they care what people think about them?

do they enjoy being the center of attention? why or why not?

how do they feel about learning?

which do they value more: creativity or practicality?

thoughts on material possessions?

would they rather win an argument or avoid conflict?

views on people in general?

what qualities do they admire in other people?

how do they feel about fun? 

what do they want written on their tombstone?

what would an ideal day, in their mind, be like?

thoughts on privacy? (are they private or are they “tmi”?)

thoughts on superstitions or the occult? (do they believe, not believe, etc.)

what are their religious views?

WHAT IF’S

if they could go anywhere, where would they go?

if they could change anything, what would they choose?

if they could only bring two things with them, what what they be?

if they could go back in time and undo one of their own actions, which would it be?

if they could contact one person for help, who would it be?

if they could save one person, who would it be?

if they had good news, who would hear it first?

if they were leaving, who get the first goodbye? 

LAST TIMES

when was the last time they cried?

when was the last time they smiled?

when was the last time they laughed?

when was the last time they felt brave?

when was the last time they felt scared?

THE PAST

where did they grow up?

how would they describe their family?

what was their childhood like?

what did they want to be when they grew up? 

as a child, what were they most likely to be found doing?

the worst thing that has ever happened to them.

the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to them.

the best thing that has ever happened to them.

which memory stands out most clearly?

THE FUTURE

biggest and smallest short term goal?

biggest and smallest long term goal?

where do they see themselves 5 years from today?

do they believe in happy endings?

are they afraid of dying? why or why not?

TOUGH STUFF

do they have any phobias?

do they get nightmares?

what kind of person are they?

would they let someone take the blame for something they did?

what are they insecure about?

what is one way to earn their trust?

what is one way to lose their trust?

one thing they would hate anyone to know about them.

they have to pick one: to be loved, to be feared, or to be admired.

have they ever been bullied or teased?

FUN STUFF

what is their character archetype?

what are they confident about?

talk about their moral alignment.

describe them in three words.

describe their aesthetic.

what will make them laugh?

what makes them feel safe?

favorite color and the reason for it. 

favorite book genre?

favorite movie genre?

favorite type of muse?

if they could have a superpower, what would they choose?

do they have a role model?

what is their personal kryptonite?  

feel free to change pronouns etc!

“there’s no need to call me sir”

“just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have”

“he must’ve known that you’d want to come back”

“have a biscuit”

“it was like having friends”

“one mustn’t tell lies”

“to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure”

“it’s for some stupid noble reason isn’t it?”

“what do i care how he looks? i am good-looking for both of us, i think!”

“pity the living, and above all those who live without love”

“honestly, if you were any slower you’d be going backwards”

“i’ve heard you’ve been giving out signed photos”

“i assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in”

“you were just showing moral fibre!”

“of all the tree we could’ve hit, we had to get one that hits back”

“it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”

“humans do have a knack for choosing precisely those things that are worst for them”

“anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve”

“always the tone of surprise”

“perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it”

“thoughts can leave deeper scarring than almost anything else”

“i am what i am and i’m not ashamed”

“of course it is happening inside your head, but why should that mean it isn’t real?”

“there are all kinds of courage”“is that why you dyed your eyebrow?”

“it is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more”

“don’t think i don’t know how this might end”

“take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals”

“killing is not so easy as the innocent believe”

“i don’t go looking for trouble. trouble usually finds me”

“one can never have enough socks”

“scars can come in useful”

“when in doubt, go to the library”

“i’m hoping to do some good in the world!”

“i will write to your mother”

“would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

“throw it away and punch him on the nose”

“don’t worry, you’re jut as sane as i am”

“there are things worth dying for!”

“what’s life without a little risk?”

“there’s the silver lining i’ve been looking for”

“ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies”

“give her hell from us”

“i solemnly sear that I am up to no good”

you think i’m fucked up?

tell me where it hurts.

like a family. a fucked family.

i don’t want you to be my mom anymore.

you have to be quick or we’ll get in trouble.

did you know people get rich off of sadness? i want to meet the millionaire of american sadness.

listen. no, look at me right here, i’m serious. listen.

we talked about you, about your nightmares.

days i feel like a human being, while other days i feel more like a sound.

don’t look down, don’t look down.

you have to get bigger and stronger, okay?

the thing is, i don’t want my sadness to be othered from me just as i don’t want my happiness to be othered. they’re both mine.

how come each time my hands hurt me, they become more mine?

i’m not scared of dying anymore.

it’s kind of like being brave, i think?

a kind of mercy. to be clean again. to be good again.

what about our skeletons, how do we get away from them?

through this careful bruising, you heal.

keep going. fuck me up, fuck me up.

do you remember the happiest day of your life? what about the saddest?

what if my sadness is actually my most brutal teacher?

i have to throw up.

you don’t need to be scared. you’re smarter than me.

they say if you want something bad enough you’ll end up making a god out of it.

how can anyone be a feeling?

you were drowning, it seemed, in air.

do you ever wonder if sadness and happiness can be combined, to make a deep purple feeling, not good, not bad, but remarkable simply because you didn’t have to live on one side or the other?

have you ever made a scene, and then put yourself inside it? have you ever watched yourself from behind, going further and deeper into that landscape, away from you?

everything good is somewhere else, baby. i’m telling you. everything.

help me stay young, get this snow off of my life, get it all off my life.

they will want you to succeed, but never more than them. they will write their names on your leash and call you necessary, call you urgent.