i write sometimes

Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.

Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”

Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.

Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.

Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.

Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.

Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

From my bilingual parents:

- Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…”

- Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.”

- Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.”

- Swears in English don’t count.

- Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid.

- Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.” 

- when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired 

- speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise 

bonus: 

- keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over

Mum/Dad

Parent; neutral, formal.

Per; neutral, short for parent.

Par; neutral, short for parent.

Dommy; queer, mixture of mommy and daddy (note: sounds like Dom/me, a BDSM term)

Maddy; queer, mixture of mummy/mommy and daddy.

Muddy; queer, mixture of mummy and daddy.

Moddy; queer, mixture of mommy and daddy.

Zaza; queer, based on mama and papa/dada.

Zither; queer, based on mother and father. (Note, zither is also the name of a musical instrument.)

Baba; neutral, based on mama and dada. (Note, baba means dad in some languages and grandmother in others.)

Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to mama and papa/dada.

Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to mama and papa/dada.

Cennend; neutral, Old English (Anglo-Saxon) meaning parent.

Cenn; neutral, short for cennend.

Sister/Brother

Sibling; neutral, formal.

Sib; neutral, short for sibling as sis and bro are short for sister and brother.

Sibster; queer, combination of sibling and sister.

Sibter; queer, combination of sibling and brother.

Aunt/Uncle

Pibling; neutral, your parent’s sibling.

Auncle; queer, combination of aunt and uncle.

Cousin; neutral, as sometimes people say aunt/uncle for parents’ cousins, or much older cousins.

Titi; neutral, from the Spanish for Aunt (Tia) and Uncle (Tio). (however, it is often a diminutive of aunt.)

Zizi; neutral, from the Italian for Aunt (Zia) and Uncle (Zio). (Note: zizi is also a French children’s ‘cute’ word for penis.)

Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to Titi/Zizi.

Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to Titi/Zizi.

Untie/Unty; queer, combination of uncle and auntie/aunty

Niece/Nephew

Nibling; neutral, combination of niece/nephew and sibling.

Chibling; neutral, the children of you sibling.

Cousin; neutral, as sometimes people say niece/nephew for cousins’ children, or much younger cousins.

Sibkid; neutral, short for sibling’s kid.

Nephiece; queer, mixture of nephew and niece.

Niecew; queer, mixture of niece and nephew.

Nieph; queer, mixture of niece and nephew.

Daughter/Son

Child; neutral, formal.

Offspring; neutral, formal.

Sprog; neutral, informal.

Oldest; neutral, refers to age instead of sex/gender.

Youngest; neutral, refers to age instead of sex/gender.

Kid; neutral, informal.

Grandma/Grandpa

Grandparent; neutral, formal.

Grandwa; queer, based on grandma and grandpa.

Grandy; neutral, short for Grandparent, Grandma or Grandpa.

Nini; queer, based on the N in NB, similar to nana and papa.

Bibi; queer, based on the B in NB, similar to nana and papa.

Granddaugter/Grandson

Grandchild; neutral, formal.

Grandkid; neutral, informal.

Godmother/Godfather

Godparent; neutral, formal.

Goddaughter/Godson

Godchild; neutral, formal.

Godkid; neutral, informal.

Relationship Titles

Girlfriend/Boyfriend (non-serious relationship)

Date; neutral, the person you are dating.

Datefriend; neutral, the person you are dating, but fitting the boyfriend/girlfriend pattern.

Datemate; neutral, a rhyming version of datefriend, the person you are dating.

Lover; neutral, often implies sexual relationship, but simply refers to someone you love/who loves you.

Boifriend; queer, boi is a particular gender identity.

Girlboyfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Boygirlfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Paramour; neutral, someone you are having a sexual relationship with.

Bothfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Genderfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.

Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.

Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.

[name]friend; queer, based on girlfriend and boyfriend.

Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.

Birlfriend; queer, mix of boyfriend and girlfriend.

Feyfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer.

Personfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.

Enbyfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girfriend. (note: enby comes from NB, non-binary)

Girlfriend/Boyfriend (long-term/serious relationship)

Partner; neutral.

Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.

S.O.; neutral, short for significant other.

Other Half; neutral, informal, and implies monogamy.

Boifriend; queer, boi is a particular gender identity.

Girlboyfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Boygirlfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Paramour; neutral, someone you are having a sexual relationship with.

Bothfriend; queer, for bigender or androgynous people, or perhaps binary trans people.

Genderfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.

Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.

Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.

[name]friend; queer, based on girlfriend and boyfriend.

Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.

Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.

Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.

Birlfriend; queer, mix of boyfriend and girlfriend.

Feyfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer.

Personfriend; neutral, leaning towards queer, based on boyfriend and girlfriend.

Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.

Enbyfriend; queer, based on boyfriend and girfriend (note: enby comes from NB, non-binary).

Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.

Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.

Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Fiancée/Fiancé

Betrothed; neutral, formal.

Partner; neutral.

Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.

S.O.; neutral, short for significant other, a tad formal.

Other Half; neutral, informal, implies monogamy.

Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.

Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.

Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.

Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.

Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.

Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.

Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.

Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.

Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Wife/Husband

Spouse; neutral, formal.

Partner; neutral.

Significant Other; neutral, quite formal.

S.O.; neutral, short for significant other, a tad formal.

Other Half; neutral, informal.

Sweetie; neutral, slightly cheesy.

Sweetheart; neutral, cheesy or old-fashioned.

Cuddle Buddy; neutral, cheesy.

Steady; neutral, as in “going steady” or “steady girlfriend/boyfriend”.

Soul Mate; neutral, slightly cheesy, implies belief in soul mates.

Loveperson; neutral, a person that you love.

Epox; neutral, from the French ‘époux’ which means husband/spouse.

Companion; neutral, reference to Doctor Who’s companions, or Firefly’s Companions.

Imzadi; neutral, from Star Trek, a Betazed word similar to beloved.

Official Titles

Ms./Mr.

Mx.; queer, from mix or X as opposed to M or F.

M.; neutral, short for any and all titles. (note: M. is also short for Monsieur, making it masculine in French speaking countries)

Misc.; queer, the word miscellaneous.

Msr.; queer, mixture of Ms. and Mr..

Mq.; queer, based on the M beginning of Ms./Mr..

Ind.; neutral, short for Individual.

Miscellaneous Titles

Ma’am/Sir

Comrade; neutral, not suitable for all situations due to leftist/communist connotations.

Friend; neutral, very informal.

Citizen; neutral.

Tiz; neutral, short for citizen.

Mirdam; queer, a mix of Sir and Madam, although it still sounds similar to Madam.

Mistdam; queer, a mix of Mister and Madam.

Sir’ram; queer, a mix of Sir and Ma’am.

Laddam; queer, a mix of Lad and Madam.

Mir; queer, a mix of Sir and Madam.

Sir; neutral, Sir is used neutrally in the military, although this doesn’t work as well outside of that.

King/Queen

Monarch; neutral.

Ruler; neutral.

Sovereign; neutral.

Your Majesty; neutral, a way of addressing royalty.

Quing; queer, mix of King and Queen.

Caln; queer, created word based on the K/Q sound of King and Queen.

Prince/Princess

Prin; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Prinxe; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princet; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princette; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princev; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princen; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Princus; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending.

Your Highness; neutral, a way of addressing royalty.

Heir; neutral, refers to future monarchy.

Princex; queer, based on the Prince/ss ending, POC-coined and POC exclusive.

Lord/Lady

Lairde; queer, based on the sound of La in Lady and rd in Lord.

Layde; queer, based on the sound of La in Lady and rd in Lord.

Ruler; neutral.

Liege; neutral, term of address for a Lord/Lady.

Sovereign; neutral.

Suzerain; neutral, a feudal equivalent of Lord/Lady.

Potentate; neutral, a Latin word for someone in power.

Khal/Khaleesi (A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones)

Khalsine; queer.

Khalse; queer.

Khalof; neutral, created by David J Peterson who developed the Dothraki for the show.

God/Goddess

God; neutral.

Goddex; queer, based on the God/dess ending.

Goddette; queer, based on the God/ess ending.

Goddeq; queer, based on the God/ess ending.

Deity; neutral, another word meaning god.

Boy/Girl

Kid; neutral.

Enby; queer, from the sound of NB, non-binary.

Neut; neutral, short for neutal.

Newt; neutral, variation of neut.

Null; queer, refering to someone whose gender is ‘null’.

Gul; queer, a mixture of boy and girl.

Fanboy/Fangirl

Fanenby; queer, using enby as a replacement for boy/girl.

Fanby; queer, a mixture of fanboy/fangirl and enby.