All black, honey. XO

I’m flattered, Kenzi. 

But back to the matching t-shirts. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m quite the style icon around Coolsville High. If you want the shirts, I can make that happen.

I know you look good, but I think that’s what you’re carrying UNDER the clothes. But yeah, you do look smokin’ one hundo percent of the time. If you do make shirts, I’m kinda set on a gay werewolf theme if you can get that printed on a shirt. Or if we’re gonna have nicknames on the back, ‘vagina-nnihilator’ would be cool for me.

Rihanna looks great no matter what she’s doing, even in a car crash. A punk rock duck? Now that’s something that had never crossed my mind, sounds interesting though, I’m down. Of course, it would be a crime if I didn’t capture that moment on camera.

That is the most truthful thing that has ever been said. Like, how does she not even look like she’s getting older when she’s probably 40 or something now. Do you think we’ll all stop aging too when we get famous?

Yeah, as long as we agree to have the roller coaster reserved for only for six flags and not anywhere outside. Like the roads or anything. Also, if you make the rides bumpy, you’ll mess up the stuff inside the van. That stuff is not meant to move around like they have it. 

Alright, I’ll get to working on a little something.

I tried to make my own roller-coaster one time by attaching a wagon onto a bunch of shit my dad had in his garage but i ended up having to get stitches on my head so it did NOT pass the vibe check. 

YOU ARE A WIZARD thank you. I’ll steal you anything you want from walmart.

You better not, I don’t want to break in another best friend. It took years to break in this friendship. Let’s not find out? That’d be great. It doesn’t have guns. If it did, Im sure my Aunt Velma took them and hid them. Probably a lot, knowing us two. Just, have to stay away from peanut butter. 

Okay you can get that tattoo, I’ll get one doing a peace sign instead of that but in bi-colors.

I think you trained me pretty good.. At least that what my mom says when I remember to put my cereal bowl in the kitchen and not leave it in the shower. Yeah but... if there is peanut butter can I stab you with that thing because you wont let me stab myself with it...?

Oh that’s super woke and I’m into it. It’ll be like the Halsey of werewolves.

Geez, yeah, okay so you’re definitely not driving the van while I’m in it because I kinda favor living over dying in fiery car crash. Thanks, I get that a lot. And, shockingly, no, I don’t have a lot of duck stuff, they’re a little too cutesy for me typically. Huh, noted, but I’m glad my pictures got some traction. And noted once again, I’m no expert on fence hopping but I’m sure it’d photograph well.

Yeah that would kinda suck, and be nothing like that one Rihanna music video where she’s looking like a snack and dancing in front of that fire. Maybe I can find you a hardcore punk rock duck or something. When we finally catch a ghosty, you need to take some badass pics of it.. And one of me holding it like I’m gonna give it a smooch. 

A tattoo doesn’t really go with the image I’m trying to put out to the world. However, I could get on board with the t-shirts if I was allowed to design them. I’m not entirely sure you driving without a license is a very good idea. We’re supposed to be solving crimes, not creating new ones.

It’s cool, there’s a guy at the police station that’s a family pal and he kinda covers for me a lot. So like, if you ever get in trouble with the law for looking FINE AS HELL, i can get you a free ticket outta jail and straight into my arms. Done deal, bomboncito.

Why do we want to get rid of the old paint job? It looks great, it just needs a few touches up. Maybe if we’re in an empty field, I can let you drive the van. Im just overprotective of it. He probably does know, but I can tell you how many times he got high, and both him and Scoob ate a bunch of food in that thing while everyone else was off doing their own thing. There’s also a spill stain where he dropped his bong and all of his water spilled out. Uncle Fred paid a lot of money to get the smell out, but the stain is still there. I don’t think so, I like to think my mom wanted to make me not in a van where everyone hooked up but I wouldn’t put it past them back then.

Gay werewolves seem like a better idea.

I won’t BREAK it. I mean, it’s a van and it’s like a hundred years old. That thing is probably unbreakable, like a tank. Does it have guns?? That’s a pretty cool stain! How many stains do you think we will add to it when we start going on really awesome adventures? 

You think so? Like... One werewolf can be mounting the other one. Super artsy.

If you’re attempting to convince me, that’s not helping. What is fun about running over cones? The only thing that’s doing is ruining the car and making it an unnecessary bumpy ride. Before I say yes, you’re gonna have to tell me what you’re gonna use it for. 

One moment they’re pointy, and then they’re not. And it makes a cool noise, so that’s a bonus. Besides, I love bumpy rides! That’s why the faster, longer rollercoasters are the best ones. We should all go to six flags.

I would use it when we fight the ghosties and the goulies. They’ll go boo and i’ll go liek KAPOW right in the booty.

Yo, so I guess this is a thing now. I’m Elijah, but most people call me Eli. As long as you all keep any gross peanut butter hands and peanut m&ms away from me…and I guess Harley too, we’ll be cool. Cause, yeah, otherwise you’ll be murdering us, which would be uncool. 

Wait.. You can murder someone with peanuts? That’s the wildest thing ever and I’m just imagining those giant m&m people in the commercials chasing people with chainsaws. 

Yeah, I don’t know about this. I say we just kind of leave it and run? With those credentials, I’m going to nominate somebody else to drive. I’ve sunk enough hours into GTA to note that it’s not a suitable driving school. You’re cool and all Kenzi, but Imma pass kay. Love ya though dude. 

Okay, that’s fair enough but ONLY because I failed drivers Ed three times. I don’t get why they even bother putting the cones out when its much more fun to drive over them and make them flattie-cones, but whatever. But the real question is... Can you make a ray gun? Like the aliens from that Saints Row game.. And can I have it?

Im going to say no to that, I’ve watched you play GTA like a gazillion times and we need to treat the Mystery Machine with some respect. Since it can fall apart at any moment and has survived through a lot. I would be on board with that matching tattoo ideas if I hear the ideas.

Maybe we can paint it first, then... BUT I do wanna drive it one day. I wonder how many people have had sex in that van though. Would your dad know?? I feel like he would know. Were you made in that van? 

I was thinking like.. ghosts, but with boobs. Or gay werewolves.

Huh, well, I don’t really think that tattoos should be out first call to action, nor should driving the van. Points for gumption though. Pleasure’s all mine, Kenzi. I’m Connor but, please, call me Duckie, everyone does. And if you’ve never seen my face around, you might recognize my work in the school paper, I also took photos at Homecoming last year.

Yeah but it’s totally a dream to go joyriding and my mom won’t get me drive her car again ever since i wrapped it around that pole at Walmart. Duckie is the best name ever and you’re super adorbs. Do you own a bunch of duck themed stuff, ‘cause if you don’t, know should. I didn’t go to homecoming because I ate too many burritos and take to take a four hour siesta but I saw the pictures! If you wanna take some bomb-ass pics of the gang, then let me know ‘cause I’ve been working on some sick moves for fence hopping.