Casual de Jekyll

protective → reacting with excessive violence to small provocations and retaliating disproportionately

curious → disregard for safety and boundaries

determined → dooming self and even others when refusing to let a lost cause be lost

vigilant → paranoid control and distrust

independent → isolated and unable to ask for or accept help

decisive → coldblooded, reckless, and taking extreme measures without considering less lethal methods

forgiving → inability to hold peoole accountable and never learning from past mistakes

easygoing → unserious and not taken seriously by others even when warranted

optimistic → denial of real danger and damage

disciplined → rigid expectations of perfectionism from self and others

heroic → meddles even when told not to and ignoring people’s autonomy

generous and helpful → inability to say ‘no’ and stretching self thin trying to help everyone

because to hear even Tumblr the "gay gender website" talk people only wear harnesses while strapped into a sex swing while being fisted

but the reality is that the harness, both leather and spandex, in gay male world is like stiletto pumps, a bright red lip stick, a short skirt or push up bra.

sure some people are wearing those things because they're about to get laid or hoping to. But lots of people wear them just to feel sexy, confident or powerful. And there's nothing X rated and "shouldn't be seen in public" about any of that.

lots of gay guys wear harnesses to bars or clubs not because its a sex thing, but because its a sexy thing, they feel attractive and confident.

I get that gay men feeling attractive and confident terrifies people, but if you're at Pride and a guy walks past you in jeans and a harness, either shirtless or over his shirt, he didn't violate your civil rights or do a sex thing in front of you, he's wearing a totally appropriate outside that makes him feel confident and powerful.