Whoa There Friend You May Want To Get Me A Drink

cats domesticated us by developing a cry that mimics a human baby and being approximately the size of a human baby, thus playing on our natural instincts to nurture them. also boosted their odds by being carriers of toxoplasmosis, which may effect human behavior positively in their favor. like, dogs showed up and said “feed us and we’ll help you” but cats said “I’m taking shortcuts”

I am such a cat person but sometimes I pick my cat up and say “you’re manipulating my paternal instincts with your demanding meows, your weirdly anthropomorphic flat face and your perfect baby size of 9 pounds. and I’m on to you.” just so she’s aware

HUGE shout out to purple for being the only color that has like no losers. Deep purple royal purple bluish purple redish purple pastel purple dusty purple lavender periwinkle violet like. Banger after banger after banger!!

why is petplay always dogs and cats and shit. put your man in a hamster wheel

Got called lazy, I almost replied.

PUSSY CHURCH PUSSY CHURCH PUSSY CHURCH

girls’ night!

girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night

Got called lazy, I almost replied.

not to be racist but i can’t tell customers apart

The truth hurts so much, but it cannot be denied - 2 minutes after you leave my line of sight, I have no idea who you are, you’re just another arm I’ve stabbed with a needle

god I hope you work in the medical field