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But you're down so bad for their style and talent that they got you wading in like:

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There's literally no other megafauna on earth that spends the entire day lounging around in water, mostly just socializing, only to come onto land to feed at night.

I remember when I used to do education programs on hippos, most people assumed they ate aquatic plants, and that that's the whole reason they were in water. Meanwhile, hippos are basically just giant nocturnal cows that eat only grass.

"i must grow my bones lighter and less dense so that i don't get trapped on the bottom and may float easier in this new environment"

hippos: "denser. heavier bones. MOAR dense. Make sink the most."

mother nature: but how will you get off the bottom when you sink?

hippos: Make muscles more too, give all muscle.

mother nature: and to stay warm in the water? a big layer of fat?

hippos: no! no fat only muscle.

mother nature: o....kay. And, you eat aquatic plants, that's why you spend so much time in the water?

hippos: lol no. eat land grass, like cow.

mother nature: i see. right. You eat mostly grass, so, flat grinding teeth?

hippos: hell no. big spike teeth. sharp big teeth. Biggest

mother nature: what, like lions? 3 inch fangs?

hippos: course not. giant fuck-off teeth, 18 inches. Also, not just one pair, three pairs of giant sharp teeth. give

mother nature: but you eat... grass?

hippos: yeah. lol. Sometimes eat a zebra tho. Or a antelope. Maybe eat a crocodile, you don't know. Give all teeth, giant fuck-off teeth. Most bone! most muscle! most teeth! Me.

mother nature: y'know what? fuck it, sure, here you go

hippo: ...

so idk about layers, and they are not all the same size, but they have three pairs of large sharp teeth on each side of their mouth, or you could say six pairs of ...? anyway they have a bunch of molars you can barely see through the gums, and then they have these teeth:

looks like this in the mouth

1. Quark

quark’s is literally the ground zero of gossip on ds9, he knows the most embarrassing holosuite program everyone’s gooned to, the sloppiest shit they’ve done while drunk, and he will tell anyone ANY of it for the right price

2. Garak 

like quark, he knows everything about everyone (but not because he's a spy or anything!!! he's just a humble tailor!), but unlike quark, he also has DiscretionTM, and when he does spill the tea, it's out of sheer love of the game. That said, the gossip sessions he has with quark whenever he comes in to get one of his goofy ass outfits tailored are legendary

3. Jadzia

she loves gossip, she loves drama, she LOVES shit-stirring, but no one ever picks up on it bc she’s cool and everyone loves her, so they tell her EVERYTHING. However, the Dax symbiont does mean she sometimes has a hard time recognizing when the tea is ice cold and there have been multiple times Kira’s had to interrupt one of her stories like “jadzia. I don’t know who any of these people are” “oh yeah, they all died 200 years ago” “😒”

4. Worf

he hates gossip bc it’s dishonorable, but he also hates keeping secrets. Because it’s dishonorable. it’s 50/50 in any given situation if worf is going to spill the tea or not, but when he does, it’s SO worth it

5. Odo

he's got the dirt on everybody, but his sense of justice keeps him from sharing any of it. Unless it involves quark, talking shit about quark is always morally justified

6. Bashir

undisputed king of blurting out shit that was SUPPOSED to be a secret at the worst possible moment. No one tells him shit because of it, but 1. He’s a doctor and 2. He’s smart, so he picks up a good amount anyway 

7. Kira

this bitch is in everybody’s business but she doesn’t really spread gossip unless she HATES the person she’s talking about and if Kira hates you, you’re probably less worried about gossip than like. her murdering you with a pipe bomb 

8. O'Brien

like bashir, he would also blurt out shit that was supposed to be a secret at inopportune times, but unlike bashir, he actually doesn't know any secrets, so it’s fine 

9. Sisko

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