What May Be

I wish I can upload more for an update, but I haven’t been taking a lot of photos bc I keep running out of space whoopsies. Still need to delete a lot of other photos but that’s okay. I finally cut off one of my most toxic friendships after so many years. But as toxic as it was, I miss them. I miss the friendship we had and our daily talks, and I didn’t want to cut it off, but I had to. I couldn’t keep doing that to myself for my mental sake. I finally got a job after a long hiatus. What a “break” that was lol, but I forgot how exhausting it is to do school and work at the same time. I am so drained a lot of days. But this small gig I got going on, actually brightens my day. I actually look forward to going to work for the first time in a while. If I could, I would actually switch career paths, but I don’t want to simply for the sake of pay sigh. But if pay was good, oh I’m switching over in a heartbeat. I didn’t think I would like it this much but I do. I actually really like working with kids. And it warms my heart that I’m making a difference in these kids lives when most of them come from very low-income homes and the education system isn’t as good. I can’t help but want to do more for these kids. Anyways, did a 3 day bender for the bestie’s birthday, that was fun. School is not so good. It’s actually really hard to keep up with 4 classes and work. Realistically, 4 classes isn’t actually that bad with work, but I haven’t done both in so long, my school is taking a big toll. I’ve also been driving so much it’s insane. My baby hasn’t had his car in about 3 weeks and I’ve been picking him up, taking him to school, driving to work, then picking him up again, and driving back home. And I’ve been just so tired. I can’t complain bc he was the main driver for a hot minute, but, boy is that tiring. I’ve been getting a lot of anxiety from driving as of lately due to stupids ass cars and trucks on the road. A truck has gotten super close to me multiple times and almost hit me rip. On the bright side, my hunny and I are about to hit our one year soon woohoo hehe. To be frank, and not like anyone is gonna read this(hopefully), but I haven’t been feeling much love from him as of lately. But I know he feels the same way too… it’s mainly due to the lack of intimacy but that’s bc we both just don’t have the time for it. Neither of our faults. He’s a full time student as a chemical engineer major and I almost full time with part time work. It’s a lot. But it’s okay bc it’s for the sake of our future so it’s a big investment. But this is it for me. We’re endgame. He’s just as serious about me as I am about him. We’re working towards marriage and kids and I love that we’re on the same page. I actually don’t know what I would do if I wasn’t with him. I think I’ve said that in like all my relationships lol, but this one is different. This one actually gave me a purpose in life and makes me want to be better and work harder. I genuinely see a future with this one and I truly see marriage and kids, it’s not just a fantasy in my head or wishful thinking that it will lead to that, no, I really see it. Moving on from this, I got ISOKNOCK, friend’s birthday coming up, sister’s birthday, Anniversary, chopping my hair, ya das all I got. We got this til the end of the year. Crazy how it’s in a little less than 3 months

I’m finally 24. I thought this year would be better considering how much of a shit show last year was. But it’s not. Almost everyone got my birthday wrong, no one except for one person in the gc greeted me, and my bestie didn’t plan my celebration and didn’t show up. Both besties for that matter. Not tryna be a Debbie downer, but also, wtf? But at the same time, fair. I don’t talk in the gc lol. All those birthdays that I never said anything. Is karma. Other than that, I guess my birthday wasn’t a complete disaster. I still got to celebrate with those who do care enough. And I have an amazing sister who planned the whole thing. And an amazing bf who went above and beyond as always. Well, it just started so let’s how the rest of this goes.

Time to finally update I guess? I’m a little late, but I’m about to hit 5 months with my baby🥹 Post breakup was a lot harder but also a lot easier than I thought. But I guess it only got easier because after 6 years, we finally crossed paths once again. I never thought I’d see the day. You were the one I’ve always wanted. You became my Roman Empire. I remember thinking about you while you were still active. I remember wondering how you were doing. I remember always asking about you whenever I got the chance. I remember the day I was told you were engaged and even though I was in a fully committed relationship, I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous even after so many years had passed. Right person right time finally??? You were my biggest, “What could’ve been?” For the longest time, and I never thought I would have my questions answered. And now I guess we’re engaged???? Anyways I can’t wait to get married and have babies with you hehe