well.

trans people i’m happy you’re alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m so glad you’re here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep doing your best!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that onion headline that's like "whatever. the emo kids are all sitting on each other's lap" is their realest one yet

i keep trying to quit being a bitch but they keep inventing new things for me to be a bitch at

number one hottest thing a girl can be is funny. number two hottest thing a girl can be is lame as hell

passenger princess? No, I’m the passenger knight. I’ve sworn an oath of homoerotic loyalty to the driver and will protect them until my last breath. I will carry out her road rage. I’m why the passenger seat is called shotgun

thr funniest part of therapy to me is when you first come in and you're exchanging niceties and they say "hello! how are you" and you say "im fine how are you :)" and then 30 seconds later they put on their therapist voice and say "so how are you doing?" and you go well lisa. believe it or not im doing Bad

this has a very Vine energy and I like it

i'm both dumber and smarter than you think so don't underestimate me because i'm actually smart about a lot of stuff but also don't be surprised if i'm dumb about some other stuff hope that helps

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

yeah and it kicks ass