C.Cakes

Meet Alex 25, Sex Survey Guy.

Naturally, I swiped right.

Then I got the following message:

Hi! :) Make sure you read my profile. If you want to take the survey say YES if you don't want to say NO. If you don't respond I will send the questions anyways. :) :)

What if I was waiting to respond no? Since I had to no choice, I expedited the process by saying "shoot".  Apparently I don't follow directions.

  Here's the Sex Survey:

Do you masturbate?

Do you have any sex toys? What kind? 

Do you watch porn? What is your favorite?

Are you into anything kinky? Like what?

What is your craziest fantasy/taboo you would like to try?

One thing you would like to do (or did) that you wouldn't want your friends to know?

  Here's what I was thinking of responding with:

Right now

Anal probe

When Harry ate Sally

Germans

Owl porn

See #5

  He has since blocked me.  Sounds about right.  

  What a perv.

Welcome to the Men of Tinder.  First up we have Brett.

Do you think he wanted to go to the movies and then get ice cream after?

The Party Store Cashier: This is cute (my items) is it for a graduation?

Me: No a bachelorette party

Her: For you?

Me: (confused look) Absolutely not.

Does anyone want mono? I’m still contagious for the rest of the week so if any gentlemen want some exposure, call me up.

With my extra time I’ve come up with a list of mono benefits (Note: they do not outweigh the disadvantages)

1. You can eat as much onion and garlic as you want. Unless you’re infecting people, it’s kind of nice not having to worry about bad breath

2. It’s a good excuse to nap.

3. You don’t have to share (unless your enemies are in town or some guy plays you out in front of your coworkers)

4. You have plenty of time to focus in things you normally wouldn’t. Ie your book, your blog, virtual friends, researching how to be ordained online, picking up a new tv show (The Newsroom is pretty good) ect.

5. You can eradicate all your friends. Nothing's a bigger buzzkill then saying, "I have mono."

Just when I thought I said all I could say…

As if my crazy train stories and life lessons were enough, I introduce Tinder-fessions: stories and secrets from tinder.

Tinder-fessions 1: Since I found out Josh Groban’s on tinder, I’ve made it my goal to find him. This means I need to be in NYC when he’s in NYC ASAP. Josh if you’re reading this, make me your muse!

Tinder-fessions 2: Sometimes I message guys to mess with them. I had a full out conversation about “snuggles” and “cuddles” with a guy. It was absolutely ridiculous. Guys will do anything to get laid.

Tinder-fessions 3: Whenever I get a guys number from Tinder, I make their last name Tinder, [their age] [distinguishable fact about them, where they work or a hobby]. This way they all show up in the same spot in my contact list and I can kind of remember who they are. Got to be organized!

Enough Tinder-fessions for now. Stay tuned for when I introduce “The men of tinder”.

Me: Why is this song so sad?

Lesson 6: When you join Tinder be prepared to find everyone you forgot and wanted to forget about.

How was everyone’s New Years!?!?

Mine was filled with lots if friends, slap weasel (a variation of slap cup) and lots of champagne (love you André)

After reflecting upon 2013, it’s that time again for My Annual New Year's Resolutions List aka the only thing that will serve as evidence for next years blog post.

Without further adieu I give you my 2014 New Years Resolutions:

Getting a place of my own: 2013 saw the happy demise of my student loans.  Without the pressure of that debit, I can move my focus to saving $$ for a house or condo.  Although I can afford to get a apartment now, I want something of my own.

Commitment:  One of the scariest words for me.  I love living in a world of no consequences but as I get closer to my late 20s, it really is time to settle down or at least make a reasonable attempt at it.  Now that I have a job I actually like with people who are nice to me (not because they want something), I can put my focus on my personal life (yes I put a career above love and I do not regret it).  I've decided to put myself out there more so than ever.  I downloaded Tinder (ahhh, I admit it) and I'm willing to give people a chance.  It's hard but you never know when love will strike.

Visit (4) new places: Yes, I'm upping the ante from last year.  

Get Fit:  I'm sure this was a resolution I've failed in the past, but this year I'm serious about getting into shape and I even want to run a 5k!  I plan on continuing my barre classes which shockingly, I'm still doing after 6 months, making this the longest standing workout of my life.

Take over the world: Last year's resolution relived.  I'm ready to continue making my mark on the world.

Interestingly, I only have 5 resolutions this year and by only I mean these are going to be a really tough feat.  I'm ready to take on the challenge and make 2014 my best year yet.

What are your New Years resolutions?  Who's ready to conquer the world with me?

Cheers,

Hello 2014,

In order to officially welcome (it's not official until it's internet official) 2014, it's time to close out 2013.  There's no better way to do this than to review last year's resolutions list.

My Annual New Year’s Resolutions List:

Be better at keeping in touch with friends

Go to (3) places I’ve never been

Move forward career-wise

Pay off my student loans

Start taking over the world

Work on my posture

It's crazy how long a year is because I definitely didn't remember some of these resolutions.

Let's see how I did:

Hit and Miss.  I definitely saw my friends in 2013.  If anything it was an improvement on 2012.  I visited my friend Steph in Texas.  It had been 4 years!  I saw both my roommates from BU and all my ex coworkers from BU.  I met up with all my friends from home multiple times.  I think I was relatively good at staying in touch with ex coworkers (happy hours and facebook), and friends in different states but I could have done better (inner asian coming out).  Overall, I put this as a check.

Let's see, I started 2013 off with a trip to Texas in February.  I also went to Puerto Rico in June and I went to West Palm Beach/Miami in October.  It was a close one but I'm going to check this on off.

I got a new job. Check.

Paid off 7 out of 8 student loans and have less than 3k left. Done deal, check.

I think I made my presence better known, but I'm still not at the point I want to be at. 

Currently slouching.  I think by doing barre, I improved my posture somewhat.  Half check.

2013 was a pretty good year for me.  I was able to maintain friendships and I even made some more!  I officially got my Masters (the diploma finally came in!).  I got a new job which rid me of the toxic work environment I was once surrounded in.  This was huge for me as most of my year was spent in work misery.  Beside the new job, I got 2 additional job offers which signifies to me the value of my skills set.  I picked up skiing and barre as a means of getting fit and doing more things.  Skiing has allowed me to travel more (ski mountains count).  I went to Vermont a few times (even though I've already been) and was able to see family (best st patty's day I've ever had).  Along with going to 3 new places (one new state and out of the country), I went to a bunch of concerts (Eli Young, Luke Bryan, and Cole Swindell--hey, country aint so bad), the cape and the Big E!  New experiences solidify new places.  I took up cooking for a few weeks (somewhat successfully).  

So goodbye 2013, and cheers to 2014!