final girl

it’s a shame more vampire media doesn’t pull from vampire bat behavior because they’re such sweeties. they can only survive their incredibly specialized diet because bats will share blood with colony members that didn’t find a meal! there’s evidence that suggests the donors sometimes initiate this behavior themselves by approaching hungry bats! the colonies are mostly harems of females with a few males but they’ve been observed letting unrelated males in when it gets cold so they can all stay warm! cute little social critters!

What if there was a immature young man who worked as a cook in a fast food restaurant and could not get a driver’s license despite his best efforts? Now imagine he is a sponge.

nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions

"i sent this article to my relative" "mom & i were discussing dialectical materialism" you navigate the world with such a different set of parameters than i

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

guys i liedddddd 😭😭😭😭😭 i actually want it 😭😭😭 i want it so bad 😭😭😭😭 i want it so bad its ruining my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

"Be not afraid" you say to the startled angel as you crawl out of its shower drain. It doesn't know how you got there, or whether you know what those words mean. It doesn't like the thought that you know that you frightened it. Maybe you've just heard those words before and assumed that that's just the sound you're supposed to make when you greet someone.