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I am in a state of floating

Out at sea in the abyss

Just the waves carry me

No matter how much I thrash or scream

It all falls silent with no land in sight

I grow tired

I used to love the sun

Out in the fresh air all day

Just the rays warming my skin

No matter how many times it burned me

It all felt worth it

I needed sunscreen

I was too exposed to sunshine

Hurt by nature, some of it hereditary

Just in time for my 30th birthday

No matter how much I wish it wasn’t so

I can’t change it now

I have cancer

I am scared

Out of my mind with worry

Just the uncertainty drives me mad

No matter how much I cry

It all feels the same, eyes red and puffy

I am alone

I have a strong support system

Out and in they say, you’ll be okay

Just breathe

No matter what they are always there

I am grateful

I so desperately want to feel grounded

Out from endless anxieties

Just a clear path ahead

No matter how much I plead

It doesn’t ease the pain

I still float