Raunchy with a side of Funny

I'm Carlos I'll be your narrator through this epic journey I call my life*SPOILER ALERT* I die at the end. LA born and raised, Production Designer in the making, writer, Actor. Star Wars, Girls, Zombies, and music. Little known Carlos facts: -I think flaws are what makes a woman attractive. -Contrary to popular belief I am NOT Mexican -I don't think threesomes are fun. That's just two disappointed women I have to deal with. -I pretend to be sexist, but women usually have control over me. -The soundtrack to my life is any song from Bob's Burgers -I love women with Glasses. -I once spilled a glass of milk, then proceeded to cry over it. -I believe we will be attacked by zombies one day -I think Rats dream of one day becoming squirrels - I don't like girls that act one way, but are really something different. So if you're really a dude let me know beforehand. -I don't believe in propper grammer or spellitude. -I think Pat Bennatar rocks -I accidentally bought a communist flag once and waved it around in public before finding out what it was -I don't have a favorite band, because I can't choose between Journey and Weezer -I'm a horrible singer, but that doesn't stop me from singing all my favorite songs at the top of my lungs -I can believe it's not butter - I rent a closet at Robot Arms Apartments. - I though I got my period once, but it just a vodka cranberry I spilled on my lap. - I like to cut square holes in my pancakes and pretend I made waffles. -I like to eat my Banana's erotically, in case people are watching.