inactive.

i started up a substack where i plan to repost a lot of the meta/analyses i've done here, rewritten in a more coherent, detailed, and professional way. here's the article i've done for the red and the black

“mulder subverted masculinity by being the illogical believer” actually if there was any subversion of masculinity in mulder it was that he was nice. like just a very nice person.

thinking about the extraordinate ways that scully shows love…things like staring at a killer and saying with absolute conviction that the man you were looking forward to working with will be met with nothing unkind when he dies. like asking someone you’ve never kissed to make babies. like sobbing to your baby, seventeen and a stranger, that you’re so sorry he doesn’t know his father. like holding a dead man’s hand for days when science says he can’t feel it. like writing deathbed pleas in spiralbound notebooks: don’t stop, don’t blame yourself, don’t go lonely. like carving open a woman that you’ve never felt was full of anything. that you’re not surprised suffocated in ash. like needing to hide so much but throwing your robe off on day one. like picking up the nothing you have left and running.

i will literally delete this whole acc so x-files fans can’t repost and screenshot my fucking writing while simultaneously talking shit about me constantly idgaf

Do you guys not realize that it literally feels like shit and so anxiety inducing for you all to talk about me like i’m not a real person that you don’t know because i used to write on tumblr which i dont even do anymore

i genuinely think fox mulder is one of the best male characters ever. and it has so much to do with his love, care and empathy. the way he communicates and moves in the world. the way he treats scully, respects her, tries to support her. and all the time it seems like he's completely misunderstood. being called stupid or an asshole, sometimes for literally being a good guy! like for instance. why in the world would he make a move on scully after the situation with van blundht? how does not making a move on her make him stupid? i love him for that. scully is sick and dying and was just so fucking violated by a creep wearing her best friend's & partner's face? like i don't know that's so fucking weird to me and it is SO clear they aren't ready. they don't talk about it!! they can't even talk about what happened, or her cancer. mulder's too busy holding onto hope he doesn't have and supporting her the way she lets him, and she's too busy trying to stay strong for him & to "live with cancer" — it's so not the time. if he did, and then she lived, would he have been able to keep going? no. he runs in detour for a reason.

vince gilligan thinks mulder is fundamentally good, darin morgan thinks mulder is fundamentally embarrassing, and chris carter thinks mulder is fundamentally jesus christ