Captain Australia

i hope everything works out for you, bisexual person on Tumblr

multiples of 5 are honorary even numbers to me. does anyone else feel this

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

of fucking course

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.

nonverbal phone time but our legs are touching so we know we're there for each other

I'm a hard pillow hard mattress man. I need reliability. I don't want something to change into a completely different shape when I touch it, that's lying and I don't like liars.

chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands

anything can hurt your feelings if you lie down in your bed alone at night thinking about it for long enough

at least sisyphus only had one never-ending task. i have like 50 and all of them cost money

everyday i wake up and i go “god i’m so tired. i can’t do this anymore.” and then i get up and i continue to do it