in my defense, i have none

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

why didnt taylor swift invite dan and phil to her wedding

Oh. Ilya isn’t being nice to all the gay hockey players he meets by tripping them into the arms of their love interests because he wants them to be happy. He’s tripping them away from his love interest. He’s gonna make sure those hot rich men are otherwise occupied so they don’t go sniffing around Mr. Hockey himself, Shane Hollander, who they may or may not have heard a rumor about him being gay and probably available— Quick! Diversion attack! Go flirt with the cute social media guy! Look! Attractive bartender! Sexy musician, go go go!

This was def inspired by Troy calling Shane a Total Babe™️ and the idea of Ilya having to fight off eligible suitors with a fucking knife

need a tv show to watch

I have a suggestion :)

not mentally ill enough for that right now

everyone in the league calling ilya an asshole meanwhile he’s apologizing to the bartender for his rowdy teammates, smiling politely at the nurse, playing mermaids with the kids, painting hayden’s kid’s nails and then his own nails to show them that boys can paint their nails too, getting excited over the team puppy, and then spoiling his dog rotten when he finally gets one. sorry but idgaf that he’s mean to grown ass men, they deserve it 😭😭