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we're not kids anymore.
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@captainblazkowicz
muse has been moved to this blog.

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"I ain't sellin' a damn thing, mister," Blazko sighed. "I'm army β US Army β and I'm lost. Can't find any of my belongings, don't know where the hell this is, don't have a map. If you could spare it, I'd appreciate the help. Don't have me no money right now, but, could help you with your here tracts of land."
Yeah. That'll get him, Blazko β no, it probably won't.
".... All I'm asking for is some kindness. Please. Know it's weird, big shirtless guy on your doorstep, but I ain't gonna hurt you, promise."
And he sure wasn't a lunatic, neither. Blame whoever in the fuck decided it was a bright idea to strip the shirts off prisoners of war and undercover spies.
[π§ͺπ] The moments of relief of the shirtless stranger not being a salesman disappeared as soon as it came. US ARMY? Oh, hell no. No, no, no. He definitely wasnβt answering that door now.
A fleeting thought; one that warned Doc against outright shooting the strange soldier on the other side of the door. Thatβd βcause a bigger headache down the line. Though β¦ Ophelia could eviscerate the body to nonexistence β¦
Doc looked over at Ophelia, who simply tilted her head and motioned a finger that crossed her neck with a quirked brow. Doc shook his head. Not yet. Then, the plea for kindness. Ugh. His stomach turned, his face twisted, and a groan from his throat rumbled. He should tell this guy to take a hike!
βAlright, alright β¦β Doc sighed and motioned for Ophelia to go change (the holographic disguise now turned on, she looked as de-purpled as ever before). βNO funny business.β
With his blaster tucked away under his sweater and in the back pastband of his pantsβ Doc undid each lock, comically too long with notable clicks and kaTHUNKS, before the door was opened. Instinctively, Doc kept Ophelia tucked behind him, who peered out from the side with wide-eyed wonder.
By the stars above β¦ THIS GUY WAS EVEN BIGGER FACE-TO-FACE!!!
βUgh, Come on in ... you hungry?β
Ugh, God. He saw that slight change in facial expression when he mentioned he was Army. This guy was one of them 'fuck you and fuck the givernment' kinds, wasn't he? He mentally prepared some kind of dpeech about how, no, he wasn't here to rat him out or some shit, he was the kind of soldier who shot fascists, not the kind who kicked down American doors or whatever the hell it was paranoid people worried aboutβ and then, the door opened. Lanky old guy opened it up for him.
"Well. I'll be damned." Now is about the time he would have offered a handshake if he were being faced. "Captain Blazkowicz, William J. Blazkowicz. Friends call me BJ. Swear on my honor and my life, you won't regret this."
When I was hungry, you fed me; when I was thirsty, you gave me drink. The words of the good Lord echoed in Blazko's mind. All them church Sundays he'd been to, and somebody was actually fucking listening to what the goddamn tome of a book told 'em β Hallelujah. He stepped inside.
"Appreciate it, but I ain'tβ"
BJ's stomach growled VERY LOUDLY. He looked down at it, and sighed.
"... hungry. Cock," he hissed. No weasling your way out of that answer, Billy boy.
"Guess I could use a little somethin' if you got it β can of beans, slice of bread... somethin'. You mind orientin' me? What state this in? This America? USA? There ain't any Nazis 'round botherin' you, are there?"
[i have been feeking a hankering to write my man Blazkowicz again.
So.
Like this post and I'll send some things to your inbox from Blazko.
Please specify muse if you're a multi or hub or get nothing (I don't wanna be rude but I also get stopped utterly in my tracks by indecision sometimes - that adhd do be a disorder alright) ]
@captainblazkowicz continued from here
[π§ͺπ]β It had been a long day, and as the sun set into its slumber and brought forth another quiet evening, both Doc and Ophelia had retired their earlier antics in place of rest. A kettle of tea, brewed on top of an olβ reliable fireplace stove whose stoked flame warmed the chill in the air. The house, worn from time, creaked ever so often against the night airβ it was home.
Doc gulped down the remainder of his tea (a mix of apple and cinnamon with a touch of ginger) as he lounged on the couch with Ophelia close by, who was bundled into layers on top of layers of blankets and far off into dreamland. The bulky tv served more as ambient static at this point, as Docβs focus was honed in on a small cookbook he discovered in the attic earlier (most likely left behind by whoever lived here before).
It wasβ¦peaceful.
So of course, he would hear a knock against the door.
"I ain't sellin' a damn thing, mister," Blazko sighed. "I'm army β US Army β and I'm lost. Can't find any of my belongings, don't know where the hell this is, don't have a map. If you could spare it, I'd appreciate the help. Don't have me no money right now, but, could help you with your here tracts of land."
Yeah. That'll get him, Blazko β no, it probably won't.
".... All I'm asking for is some kindness. Please. Know it's weird, big shirtless guy on your doorstep, but I ain't gonna hurt you, promise."
And he sure wasn't a lunatic, neither. Blame whoever in the fuck decided it was a bright idea to strip the shirts off prisoners of war and undercover spies.
"Oh, I know about you. I've checked you out." / from cross!
@sorrowsick
"That so?" BJ asks, glancing slyly at Cross and crossing his arms with a slight smirk. "What you heard about me?"
Stuff about the Nazi-killin', stabbin', shootin', he hoped. Not the stuff about getting hit in the conk with shrapnel, or losing practically his whole damn squad. Not about the mission where he failed to save Wesley and Pippa, and Kesler too. They all deserved better than that shit. Better than the tinge of catharsis revenge gave him.

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[Well.
It's been about. 5 months since I've posted on this blog. π Sorry folks.
I've been missing Blazko though and thinking about trying to respond to things that have been sitting in my drafts for months.]
Blogs aren't dead, I'm just busy and creatively burned out still... bear with me!
'Revenge is bad' to YOU. i love when a character destroys everyone who wronged them. i love when they get to bite and maim and tear and rip and scratch and kill. Sorry ur catholic about it but i'm different
Threatening Sentences, Vol. 2
(Sentences from various sources for threats to and from a muse. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"Is any of this true? You better pray I don't find out it is."
"Put your hands over your head, or you're not going to have a head to put your hands over."
"Who are you? What do you want from me?"
"I have a reputation for ruthlessness. You will find that it is deserved."
"Don't unlock doors you're not prepared to go through. "
"If I could get up, I'd kick your ass."
"I came here to put a bullet in you."
"If you break his heart, I will kill you and bury your body in the woods."
"Please don't try to leave. You'll find all the doors locked."
"I don't have enough respect for you to be scared."
"You want to see me snap?"
"I know what you're afraid of."
"I can kill you whenever I please, but not today."
"I've killed men for far less."
"I want you to do me a favour. It's not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you. You understand?"
"You can't kill me, but I can kill you."
"You will cease to pry into my personal matters, or I shall certainly break your neck."
"This isn't the first time I've been threatened, and I'm still here."
"I do not threaten. I merely state facts."
"Don't try to threaten me. I've watched presidents die."
"Don't tell anyone I was here."
"Did you really think you could call up the Devil and ask him to behave?"
"You have no rights, only orders to be carried out."
"I don't buy your hollow threats."
"I'll be flossing chunks of your scalp from my teeth if you don't tell me right this second what you're on about."
"You just made the worst mistake of your life."
"Far worse can happen... And it will."
"You're in no position to question the terms of our arrangement."
"What are you going to do? Shoot me?"
"Physical discomfort is extremely persuasive."
"If you let me down, I'll kick your arse from here to kingdom come."
"Apparently you need another demonstration of my authority."
ββ βΛΰ· ππππππππ ππππππππ ! β° β‘βΈβΈ ππππππ
' we fear that which we cannot see. '
' everything in this world exists to wear you down. '
' i just keep practicing saying goodbye to you. '
' doesn't matter who it is. i'll fucking crush anybody. '
' tell me you hate me the most in the world. '
' if you stay here, i'll have no choice but to kill you. '
' i'm not fighting because i think i can win, i'm fighting because i must win. '
' you? kill me? i decline. '
' if you ever give me the chance, i'll drag you down and crush your skull. '
' trust me, you are not fighting alone. '
' move forward. never stand still. '
' the things that you want to protect are not the things that i want to protect. '
' people have hope because they cannot see death standing behind them. '
' well, you sure have weird ways of doing things. '
' there's nothing honorable about throwing your life away as though it's nothing. '
' you would probably do something completely different. you always chose the path that led to the most danger. '
' is that supposed to be sarcastic? '
' i'm a terrible person, aren't i? '
' the next time we meet, i won't look to you for help. i'll be able to fight on my own. '
' i followed like a stray dog at your heels. i killed for you and died for you. but in truth, i was afraid to even step on your shadow. '
' despair cannot ever hope to stop you. '
' run until you're out of my sight and keep running. otherwise... i can't guarantee you won't get dragged into this and be killed. '
' are you a little disappointed? come on, be honest. you are, aren't you? '
' what's that look on your face for? '
' don't forget my name. you better pray that you never hear it again. '
' the road to victory does not exist. '
' why are you so fixated on life and death? '
' i am not here to comfort you. '
' what is that look in your eyes? do you regret your actions? '
' we've got no choice but to team up. what do you have to say? '
' man, oh, man. i was wondering when you were going to shut up. '
' when you feel like talking... when you're ready to tell me, i'll listen. '
' i told you, didn't it? that if you die, it'll be trouble for me, too. '
' where do you think the heart lies? '
' you should quit worrying about it and get some more sleep. '

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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[My rp sideblogs now have an interest checker! Please fill it out, especially if we have yet to write together and you want us to!]
[I've been most active over on the sideblog @pateretfilia but I appreciate you all so much.
BJ means so much to me as a character and I know his muse is gonna come back a-swinging soon enough.
Have a wonderful Halloween!]
Spy Sentences, Vol. 7
(Sentences from various sources for spies and/or secretive muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"Without proof, we're nothing more than conspiracy mongers."
"I can handle imposition. What I can't handle is secrecy."
"Some truths are not for you."
"He can't tell you anything if he's dead."
"I want you to do me a favour. It's not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you. You understand?"
"All I did was what no one else had the guts to do!"
"Most people believe they're on the side of angels, but are they?"
"You can't hurt a man when he's got nothing left."
"I'm sure if you can't find anything on me, nobody can."
"Sleep is a luxury - a self-indulgence we have no time for."
"What are you insinuating?"
"If we ever go undercover again, I get to choose the names, okay?"
"You should trust your instincts more."
"This is a pro job. They made it in and out of here without a sound."
"How many people have you killed?"
"I expected someone more formidable."
"You want to go to Heaven? Then get another job."
"I'm throwing you a rope. Don't go and hang yourself with it now."
"You can kill a man but you can't kill what he stands for... Not unless you first break his spirit."
"Oh, I know about you. I've checked you out."
"Is any of this true? You better pray I don't find out it is."
"You're not going back out there. I'm not going to let you go back out there."
"You want to see me snap?"
"You're being paranoid, even for you."
"I'm not a bad man - more, a practical man."
"It's time to start telling me the truth!"
"Sometimes it's difficult to tell who is bad and who isn't."
"So I'm the bad guy because I'm trying to do what's right?"
"I wouldn't call bugging my car a joke."
"I'm just trying to do my job, only it gets hard to do if the person you're working with is keeping secrets and telling lies."
@captainblazkowicz || Continued
B.J pulls the knife out of the Na.zi's neck, wipes it off with a rag, and spins it around once or twice in his hand. He takes the security keycard from the guard by yanking off the lanyard. "That so? Like what?"
"Well, the 'fing is...I'm in an impossible situation, ya' see..."
Tangerine could have stepped in. He could have stepped in long before the Captain, God bless him, had rammed a knife through that Nazi bastard's neck. But he wanted to see it. He wanted to see one of the real fuckers die before he did what he had to do. If they found out he hadn't stepped in, no doubt it would be a bullet in the head. But what they don't know won't hurt.
And speaking of bullets in the head...
...the cocking of a gun rung out behind the Captain.
"...the 'fing is, Captain, sir...I got a lot more on the line this time than a cold stack 'a cash. I got someone I gotta take care of an' take of them...well, first I gotta' take care 'a you."
He prepped the gun, removing the safety as a finger drifted to the trigger.
"Nothin' personal, Cap. In fact, I'd really rather not be doin' it to tell ya' the truth... I apologise."
A pause. A moment of hesitation quelled with a hushed exhale.
"...Any messages to anyone tha' I can pass on for ya'?
"Cock." B.J hissed. That wasn't good. That was the exact goddamn opposite of good, having a gun pointed at his head. Change his name to Captain obvious. His glare knew no boundsβ this motherfucker. This double-crossin' sonofabitch.
"Don't got a message to pass on, 'cause I ain't dyin' here, Tangerine." There was a split second where time seemed to freeze.
Then B.J went for the gun, trying to either hit it away from himself, or get Tangerine disarmed. With the other hand, he went in with the knife, aiming it for Tangerine's stomach. Wouldn't die if it hit him there, 'specially not if he didn't take it out. But it would sure as fuck be a distraction.
Question was, was he quick enough?

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"I've killed men for far less." (Tangerine π from @twxins)
B.J pulls the knife out of the Na.zi's neck, wipes it off with a rag, and spins it around once or twice in his hand. He takes the security keycard from the guard by yanking off the lanyard.
"That so? Like what?"
@twxins
"I'm gonna give you five goddamn seconds to explain who the fuck you are, how in the hell I got onto this here sci-fi lookin' place, and whether or not yer associated with them fuckin' krauts. Oneβ"
Bold words for a guy, while jacked as hell, was currently tied up and without a gun.
[@captainblazkowicz Isekai Blazko Isekai Blazko Isekai B]
"Okay, well, I was kind of hoping you would explain why you suddenly appeared in the middle of the Atlas campus and started shooting up my soldiers, so I think we're at an impasse here," said Rhys.
Whoever this guy was, it had taken pretty much Rhys's entire security force to subdue him. Rhys wasn't planning on untying him, well, maybe ever. The man didn't look like he'd gotten all the shooting out of his system and Rhys wasn't keen to be his next target.
"I don't know what a kraut is. Like the sausage? Please don't tell me you were killing my employees because you couldn't get a good sauerkraut in Meridan. It's mostly Asian-fusion here. You'll have more luck finding noodle shops."
Rhys smoothed his mustache down nervously. The way the guy's muscles were jumping under the ropes was giving him the creeps. He looked like he could break out of his binds any second. Maybe Rhys should have sent an underling to do this interrogation instead of handling it himself.
"Seriously, I'm gonna need some more information. And make it snappy. I'm a busy man, I don't have all day to waste on this."
To say B.J was glaring was an understatement. Just about the understatement of the century, really. He was glaring daggers right into this fucker's Nazi neckβ
Wait. Not a Nazi. What the fuck do you mean, he's not? They sure as fuck look like em. Soldiers' suits look like theirs in the sixties, just... red.
"It ain't about the goddamn sausage. You're tellin' me you don't know what the fuck a kraut is? A Nazi? A goose-stepper? White-ass fascist pig?"
The facial expression on Rhys' face suggested he sure as fuck didn't.
"... Sorry. Thought you were. Looked like 'em. They're bad guys, where I come from. Real goddamn bad guys. Killed a lot of good people."
Smooth, Blazkowicz. You really goddamn gone and done it now. But how does anyone not know what the hell a Nazi is? Did that goddamn God Key thing really work? Did it work too fuckin' well?
"Who the fuck's team are you on if not with theirs?"