Why we Lie to Ourselves

i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13

I don’t want to hear the dog ate your homework. 

is that professor mcgonagall

This

this is me in any friendship or relationship

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

ok who the ***** got this on my dash it’s still june

I love that graham crackers were invented 100s of years ago as part of this reverend’s life plan of depriving yourself of anything remotely exciting (masturbation, spicy food, or just food with any seasoning whatsoever basically) and nowadays its used as a base for some of the most rich and decadent desserts ever, completely against its original and intended purpose (keepin’ down the urges). History completely owned the shit out of Reverend Graham and perverted his crackers beyond his comprehension lmfao

Help me internet superstitions.

Italian people from New Jersey on chopped when they see tomatoes in the basket: I’m Italian. I’m from jersey. I got these tomatoes . Tomatoes is in my blood