Its Not A Secret, I'm Just A Reject

i could never delete my tumblr. it would be like someone burning their diary. it is the only thing keep those years from blurring together completely. i don’t know how u girlies do it.

Dylan literally said ‘how many nut puns can I fit into a 50 second segment’ then went ‘ALL OF THEM’ and I am here for it

The king of gay kitchen puns just made an amazing nut snack bar in a loaf form and i'm here for both too.

are you living or are you just jumping from one obsession to the other to run away from yourself

what are you the coping mechanism police or something

If you had shown me this site in 2005 I would have asked you if had checked your virus software lately, because this looks like a bad one. I would have clicked away so fast it would give you whiplash. Looking at these sites now, I have to convince myself that they aren't virus laden sites and fight against the pavlovian urge to just navigate away.

I navigate away anyways because fuck them, there's usually a better site (though they are dwindling quickly). I still can't get over how the internet "as intended" today looks like a malware ridden fever dream from 20 years ago. This is every story I've ever read about an empire that used to be great and has now fallen into turmoil.

I use the goons with spoons wiki since it also has recipes without all the bs that accompanies them online.

ppl forget the innocence of the elderly… if there was ever a glimpse of them as a child, this is it

@yanderrre you can just go to galaxylight.com or if you dont feel like typing: shorturl.link/galaxy

I legit almost bought one wednesday for full price… glad i waited!!! taking this as ✨a sign ✨ n getting it this time! @jadalouis​ thank you sm for the psa

my little brother came into my room last night to tell me that he was gonna sew a stack of my mom’s saltine crackers together through the little holes and then left again

i ended up distracting my parents so he could put the crackers back in the little sleeve like hed only taken one from the top. i dont know if anybodys found them yet but i talked to him about it later and it turns out that theyre sewn together TIGHTLY. like. the ENTIRE stack through ALL the holes

it has been three days and my mom has still not discovered the sewed together cracker stack in the box in the cupboard

I’m DESPERATE to see the sewn crackers

there seems to be some confusion on how old my little brother is. my little brother is 19, one year younger than me, and is majoring in three separate subjects in uni. he just likes to cause problems on purpose

Not to critique evolution, but I would think orange and black stripes wouldn’t be as good for camouflage in a forest as, say, green and black would.

Not to critique evolution but I think prey animals should be better at telling when their predator is dressed like a traffic cone.

I don’t know what the best part of this is: implying that deer chose their attributes on a character sheet, or the fact that we get to see tiger colors because they look like a snack.

I’m sorry but there is not an animal in that first leopard picture

How Not To Be Seen meets How Not To Be Lunch.