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for me to lie with a girl,

and to feel the height of devotion,

a fraction of which I have never felt for god.

oh how shameful it is,

for I have never held a holy book so close to my heart,

the way I want to hold her.

oh how shameful it is,

wanting to gnaw at her flesh

to find a way to crawl into her ribs.

but is it shameful,

for I would never dare to part them

fearing to cause unease?

oh how shameful,

for I would shrink myself to fit in and make myself at home.

the home I've never found

in any house of god.

oh how shameful it is,

for I believe i could find my home

nestled inside her ribs

right beside her heart.

but is it shameful,

for even with me inside her ribs

her heart would still beat the same,

just how prayers and hymns flow

from the lips of devotees

without me?

so is it shameful,

if i feel at peace

listening to her heart beat,

after I crawl inside her ribs

But you won't hear me say it loud.

I love you

But you'll never get to know

Not unless you're the one to say it out.

May be you'll see

From the way I smile a little more around you

Or when my heart wants to hold on to you

Just a little longer

Just enough to feel it in my veins

But never enough for the words to come out.

"I love you"

It will stay at the tip of my tongue

And I'll bite it back

Whenever it tries to slip out a little more.

So instead there's blood

In the "I love you"

And it's still the truth

But there's no sweetness of love on my tongue

Only the metallic taste of iron