buried sweetly in your yellow hair.

farewell! farewell, johanna. my dear daughter whom i have not seen these many years. whose childish laughter i still hear when sleep doth cloy my brain. so gay, so young as i remember her. whose innocent tears did make her eyes blue pools whose deeps uncharted hid what wonders none might guess at. the blood pounds in my brain and hurts my eyes. what would she say now to know her father was a murderer? she must never know, never behold my face. yet i must see her once 'ere she departs. i must. i must. yes, i'll have him bring her here that i may once again behold her face. it is impossible that she should remember me. the beadle coming here---hm, that's good. for i'll dispose of him some way. johanna safe, good, good. then all that's left is that same judge whom i so foolishly let slip.

her name seems to have lost all meaning. the only time it feels real---like it's her name---is when anthony says it. lips press together at the question, like a primary-school-aged child pretending to lock their mouth shut after their friend asks not to tell a secret. but when she looks over her shoulder, she's reminded of the scene inside. ( she would rather talk to a woman than the police. )

Marie was used to this. Paparazzi with their flashing lights, shoving people, and yelling. One of her earliest memories was this. But it didn't get any easier when they consumed her normal life. All because her world-famous opera singer mom was here at the university. To talk to the dean about her.

It made her feel like a pinned-down butterfly specimen - trapped between a pin and a harsh backing. Examined by the public and private people of her life. Confined to be caught in between, sitting like a scolded child in the large atrium of the university hall.

her hair becomes her shield, draped over her shoulders and kissing against her cheeks to go unnoticed; yet, wide eyes are constantly looking around her, looking like she wants to capture every last detail in a picture frame. johanna had picked up on a particular buzz around the building. she hadn't paid it any attention---just as she didn't when she was in secondary school. when she passed the other girl, she hadn't thought much of her. books clutched to chest, she was ready to go home.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ❛❛      tonight  i  gave  you  my  soul,   and  i  am  dead !      ❜❜          a writing blog for christine  d.aaé, originally  of  gaston  ler.oux’s  le  fantôme  de l’opéra.     heavily  headcanon  and  alw  musical  based. as written by holly. ©

The lack of response to his question about food went unnoticed as he focused on what Johanna asked next. She seemed quite surprised by how the school had once operated when it came to allowing students out; it must seem like a world away from how her old school operated.

"Not really. I mean, if a teacher gives you an errand to run then you get to leave class to do that but it doesn't involve leaving the school. It's usually just fetching papers they forgot in the staff room or something."

She said that she wasn't trying to ditch class and he grinned. "Hey, I'm not gonna judge you. It's not like I'd tell." He'd ditched classes before, especially when his desire to do well in school started to wane in more recent years. Sometimes it was good just to get a breather away from it all.

"Although, if you plan on doing that you should wait until you've settled in and know you're way about. The teachers will probably keep an eye on you for the first month, too." She didn't seem the type that would enjoy getting into trouble, so a word or two of advice would benefit her. That is, if she was planning on playing hooky.

Stretching a bit, Gabe thought about where else he could take Johanna. There was the gyms but those weren't anything special when most of them looked the same no matter what school it was. That left the classrooms but, again, they weren't anything to show off.

well, that is on a smaller scale, but she can't help the spark of excitement at the idea of getting to leave the classroom for a few minutes. she would have a dry mouth than asked to be excused to the facilities, however, if she was actually asked to leave by the teacher, it's something entirely different indeed.

johanna can tell that he's teasing her---she's not entirely socially clueless after all---she just can't help her slight frown. ❝ you never know. there's cameras in the halls, aren't there? they might have microphones and pick up on it and think that i'm going to ditch class and--- ❞ enough, johanna! she takes a sharp breath and glances around in case there are any devices recording them. she gives a light, nervous laugh. ❝ i suppose i'm already in trouble now. i can't promise cameras not to tell on me. ❞ just don't tell my guardian.

❝ how close of an eye? ❞ her voice is quiet, gaze steady on the ground. her guardian used to ask teachers to keep their eyes on her. she could hardly escape to the facilities without an interrogation. they may be public school teachers rather than private school teachers, does that make a big difference? ❝ i don't want to be treated any differently. i just want to be. . . i just want to blend in. ❞

at harmony, she drifted somewhere between a good god-fearing girl who wore bows in her hair and simply floated along the halls and the girl that people whispered about when she passed them. after her guardian caught her ( or when the housekeeper had finally provoked him enough to do something about it ), his iron fist turned into gold. whatever semblance of freedom johanna got at school had vanished. people began speculating about why their classmate of ten years had all of this special attention. she was too exhausted to refute them. it didn't stop their gossiping from bothering her. that's all she could think about at night.

it's senior year, yet this is her fresh start. no one knows about that time of her life. no one would treat her any differently. she hopes.

" We can run away tonight, Johanna, I can STEAL you away right now ! We can hide until it is safe and marry then. " He would hide her away, only to save her from the Judge, he would protect her until he could properly show her the world. He just wanted to be with her, all she had to do was say the word and he would sneak her out this window.

she laughs like a girl naming her birds after sweets. she was that young girl only a few years ago and now the same type of giddiness steadily climbs from the root of her stomach to hang off of her ribcage. fingers intertwined with anthony's, it feels as if she can do anything. even run away from the judge. johanna squeezes his palms, just to feel his skin on hers a little closer.

you must know... surely, you must know it was all for you.

you are too generous to trifle with me.

if your feelings are still what they were last april, tell me so at once.

my affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever.

you have bewitched me, body and soul, and i love... i love you.

i never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

i have struggled in vein and i can bear it no longer.

these past months have been a torment.

i came to [location name] with the single object of seeing you. i had to see you.

are you too proud, [name]? and would you consider pride a fault or a virtue?

we're doing our best to find a fault in you.

i have fought against my better judgement, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance.

you really do love him, don't you?

please, do be seated.

this is a charming house.

all these things i am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

how are you this evening, my dear?

may i have the next dance, [name]?

my brother gave it to me. he shouldn't have.

i wish you would not call me "my dear."

what endearments am i allowed?

what should i call you when i am cross?

i cannot believe that anyone can deserve you... but it appears i am overruled.

are you out of your senses? i thought you hated the man.

have you no objection other than your belief in my indifference?

i do like him. i love him.

only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony, which is why i will end up an old maid.

i love you. most ardently.

please do me the honor of accepting my hand.

i appreciate the struggle you have been through, and i am very sorry to have caused you pain.

believe me, it was unconsciously done.

are you... laughing at me?

i wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?

i thought that poetry was the food of love.

what do you recommend to encourage affection?

i'm very fond of walking.

i do not have the talent of conversing easily with people i have never met before.

perhaps you should take your aunt's advice and practice?

so this is your opinion of me. thank you for explaining it so fully.

those are the words of a gentleman.

from the first moment i met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world i could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

forgive me for taking up so much of your time.

maybe it's that i find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or their offenses against me.

my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

i cannot tease you about that. what a shame, for i dearly love to laugh.

i will not and i certainly never shall.

you have insulted me in every possible way, and can now have nothing further to say.

i must ask you to leave immediately.

i have never been thus treated in my entire life.

i can admire you much better from here.

do you talk, as a rule, while dancing?

i prefer to be unsociable and taciturn.

i dare say you will find him amiable.

it would be most inconvenient since i have sworn to loathe him for all eternity.

no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed.

i've come to tell you the news.

not all of us can afford to be romantic.

i've been so blind.

they are far too easy to judge.

i was wrong. i was entirely wrong about him.

i am well aquainted with you, [name], to know that i cannot alarm you, even should i wish it.

your skills in the art of matchmaking are positively occult.

i've never seen so many pretty girls in my life!

i do not deny it.

has the pig escaped again?