Candy Coated Misery

Oh my god, what- what are you eating? I just- Sorry, I can’t even have my nose in direct line of that right now. I feel like it’s in my eyes. [ She holds a hand over her mouth ] No, no okay… I’m good. Nevermind.

What, this? [He slides the food away, looking not even slightly bashful.] That’s my guilty pleasure is what that is.

Okay, how does this work? I just… talk? Throw words out into the ether and ya’ll will just flock to me? This is so fucked up, man… Awrite, can someone please tell me what month it is? And the year actually? Are we pre or post war? I-… Shit, is that a spoiler? Fuck… uh… has prom happened? Founder’s Festival?

Ohmygod! Please tell me I’m not living in a world where the Institute haven’t caught Charlie yet!

I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand half of what you just said, but I can answer a few of your questions if you wouldn’t mind answering a few of mine, first.

No... this isn’t happening.

Could anybody actually put Stella into words? I just... Oh lawdy. She’s somehow the exact example of a queen and yet... not. She’s carefree and loving, but also the kind of person that normal people would be intimidated to talk to. I’m not really the kind of person to ask, I mean... Stella was my first love-- Is??? Let’s be real, she’s still my first love. Doesn’t matter how long it’s been, I’ll always love Stella, but whatever.

Then what are we still doing here? Come on, let me show you the best view in Havensdale. Drinks are on me.

The best view in Havensdale? Do go on.

So move to Maui. They have way better sun. And everything else that’s fun, basically. Cute. I’m totally blushing right now, oh my gosh. But don’t get your hopes up, only a select handful of them are. Like my BFF Shelley, or the town hottie Ivy O’Connor. Still, Havensdale has a lot to offer. Like trees. A ton of trees.

Oh, I’ve got my reasons for being here. Now I’m just trying to wrap my head around why my brother chose this place. Maybe it’s the... trees. Or the people. But it’s definitely not the rain, that’s for sure.

If you have to ask, I’d hardly say you have. I was on my way to drink the night away, wanna come?

I’d be an idiot to say no to a woman as beautiful as yourself, no matter the question, and it just so happens you’ve just asked my favorite.

But trees can be nice. Without them, it’d be all…grey?

You’ve got a point there. Though I’ll stand by the fact that there might maybe be too many trees here.

Normally, I have a lot of good ideas, but today has been a bit of an off-day, if we’re being totally honest. But then again, that’s what alcohol is for.

I’ve had my fair share of those. I don’t s’pose you’d like to join me, would you? After all, what fun is alcohol without a partner in crime?

Well, hello. Have you had a proper welcome yet?

That depends. What exactly is a proper welcome?

Oh. I…Sorry?

Oh, don’t do that. It’s not your fault this place seems to be obsessed with rain and trees.

Oh. My. Gosh. You’re Sebatian Matthews.

Oh god... Here’s to hoping you’ve only heard the good things about me. If not, I’m just gonna apologize now. Not that I’m actually sorry, but, you know. It’s courtesy, or something like that.