pretty young thing

I’d be an idiot to say no to a woman as beautiful as yourself, no matter the question, and it just so happens you’ve just asked my favorite.

Then what are we still doing here? Come on, let me show you the best view in Havensdale. Drinks are on me.

“I don’t like you either, but at least I’m mostly nice when we have conversations. I know that’s a lie, ‘cause two days ago you told me the most annoying thing about me was my face. See what I mean about being rude? You’re not that good at hiding stuff. I’ll find it anyway. What if next time I bring waffles to make up for it? Just to make up for it and not to bribe you to stop thinking about buying instant coffee. Gross.”

“Mostly nice. Sure, whatever. Yes, and today your most annoying feature is your voice. Things change, Sean, and believe it or not, I am a complex individual. Maybe tomorrow it’ll be how stupidly tall you are. What do you mean, I’m not good at hiding stuff? How would you even--- Waffles? ... What kind of waffles are we talking about here, exactly?”

Aw, thank you. I love you. You know I hate to take away any op for you to hold a grudge but I think in this one sitch getting over it is key. Maybe you can channel your rage towards Nathan Matthews then. [ winks ] Or Sean.

You deserve all the drinks. Yes, perfect! Fault him all you want and I so encourage all you do but there is no arguing with those strawberry daiquiris. Still. Maybe he’ll be manning the kitchen or something. We can get a corner booth, out of sight and out of mind. Not that your hotness could be contained by a booth but it’s a start.

Love you, too, babe. If only it were that easy. My overwhelming disgust for him takes enough of my energy as it is without lumping my rage for everything else, and him, on top. And Sean is... Sean. I already hate him for being him, on principle. It’s not the same.

Oh god… I’m so sorry, Sel. You know I’d have emoji’d back before either of our phones could even whisper ‘read’ but okay, you’re just not going to believe. I am, okay. But get this! So before what I’m officially coining 'The Big Sleep TM’, I was oh-so innocently popping in on Dex to see what was happening- side note: I think he had a girl up there- when this girl came out of nowhere, bops me over the head and bam! I go down. Then when I do eventually wake up, basically naked and afraid, I’m in the closet tied and gagged. And you’d think hey, just use the old shazam! But judging by your absolute rage you already know that was not an option. So Mrs Harrison ends up finding me and letting me out but that woman got away with my fave chinos and- oh! BTW, she’s a shifter. Like an actual, turns-into-people shifter.

It has been a day, you know?

This sounds like the summary to a really bad porno, I just want you to know. Not to make light of what was clearly a very traumatic experience --- and, my god, the chinos --- but seriously, you promise there wasn’t any kind of sexual favors involved? Actually, don’t answer that. I mean, if yes, please do, but also, maybe don’t? You know, TMI, Ian.

If you really want to forget the general idea of all this, I’d suggest tequila. It’s a bitch, but it can really do some real magic.

Now you’re speaking my language. I want to get so sloshed I forget my own name. Anything less and honestly, what’s the point?

That depends. What exactly is a proper welcome?

If you have to ask, I’d hardly say you have. I was on my way to drink the night away, wanna come?

So…. t h i s is Havensdale. I expected it to be sunnier.

Well, hello. Have you had a proper welcome yet?

You think you have it bad? Be glad you didn’t have to spend your morning looking for your glasses from when you were eleven.

I... take it back. Do you need my drink? At least the whole vintage glasses look is in right now. If this whole situation lasts longer than a day, though, you’re definitely getting new ones. Make it look like a choice.

Probably. [ indicates to the bar staff to bring this gal a drink ]

Full offense? I hate you. ... But I mean, if they’re already getting it, make sure it’s strong, at least.

Come home, it’ll be fun. It’ll only be for a while. Grandma wouldn’t cause a scene for nothing… You totally hate me, right?

But drinks are definitely in order. Come on, they’re on me. il Piacere? Who in town doesn’t still have a free drink coupon from Nathan Matthews at this point, right?

As much as I would love to have a face for my unholy rage, yours is too pretty to stay mad at. I guess I’m over it or whatever.

Thank you. Oooh. Jack and coke. A classic, and one of the few drinks that might make me feel a little bit better. I definitely need it. Like, a lot-a lot.

Sure thing. Who am I to deny a lady what she needs? Personally, I just want to make sure I forget the general idea of today.

“Why do you always seem happier when I’m not talking? See, I knew it. You don’t get to comment if you don’t know the answer either. Uh, I don’t know, a while. Since I let myself in this morning, at least. By the way, you’re almost out of coffee.”

“You really have to ask? At least when you’re quiet I can look at your face and forget how annoying you are. Oh my god, shut up. I don’t want to know what the answer is. Of course I am. Why I even bother buying nice, expensive coffee when I know you’re going to drink it all is beyond me. At this point I’m going to buy instant to leave out and just hide the good stuff.”

Looks like we both know how to pick them, because second round is on me. 

I may even be able to get us some free drinks. 

You’re beautiful and you’re trying to score us some free drinks? Are you an angel? Where did you come from?

Oh my god, tell me about it. This village and its habit of making me feel…Nothing that a good shot of whiskey can’t fix.

That’s a good way of putting it. I could do a jack and coke right about now. I’m already headed out if you want to join. Sounds like you need it.