IM SO UPSET
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IM SO UPSET

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1954-2026
You will be missed. â¤ď¸
rest in peace to this diva
RIP Anthony Stewart Head (1954 - 2026)
just wrote 10 paragraphs to my MP asking him to push back against the EHRC's updated guidance, aka the trans bathroom bill.
Durham pride happened today. the Reform UK led council cut the funding, with the deputy leader, a gay man himself, citing "gender ideology, kids on puberty blockers, and men in women's spaces" as the reason he disapproved of pride. it went ahead thanks to group such as Durham Miner's Association fundraising (solidarity forever!) but the fact still stands that this attack on trans people hurt the entire queer community.
this new guidance hurts queer people in many ways (another example: gay and lesbian couples where one person is trans will no longer be protected as same sex couples under the Equalities Act) and of course, hurts our trans siblings the most (feeling unsure or unsafe about using public bathrooms will lead to trans people going out less. trans men are expected to either break the law or simply not go. trans people will be excluded from pools, gyms and spas that don't have mixed sex changing rooms.)
i wrote about all that, but you may have your own thoughts or relevant experiences about how this guidance has or will impact you or your loved ones. so write it. call on your MP to do the following:
Demand full parliamentary scrutiny, debate and a free vote on this Code.
Support any motion tabled in Parliament objecting to it.
Write to the Minister for Women and Equalities and the Prime Minister.
or, if you don't have it in you to write ten paragraphs (which is very understandable), you should still fill out this email template with your own personal touches and sign this petition, if you're british. and if you're not british, you should reblog this so your british followers can see it.
40 days. One email. Your name on the right side of history.
Launch a review into strengthening legal protections and clearer enforcement against discrimination, harassment and exclusion of trans women
don't save this for later. don't put a pin in it, planning to come back to it later. later may never come. we only have 31 days. do it now while it's on your mind. it really doesn't take long.

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@merthurmicrofic prompt: exile Word count: 1232 words Written as a follow-up to my hole microfic, which will add context, but it's not mandatory reading :)
In the little hut in the middle of the secluded wood, Merlin forwent sleep, peace, and sanity in favour of working by the guttering candlelight to save his dying friend.
There was a hole in him, where there ought not to be one; and so his friend, who was Arthur, lay sweating and bleeding in his bed, where usually there was only Merlin, or some incidental crumbs.
Merlin could handle the exhaustion of a sleepless night, and heâd long ago learned to quiet the anxious ruminations heâd suffered working over the ailing and the crippled as a young physician in training; yet even as he took deep and fortifying breaths, he could not quell the trembling in his fingers as he drew the needle meticulously back and forth through Arthurâs skin.
It was too reminiscent of that night nine years ago, when Arthur had lain just as he did now, clammy and ashen-faced, upon the field of Camlann, with the wound from Mordredâs sword in his side.
With the sutures pulled into a neat row, Merlin sat back and mopped Arthurâs sweating brow. He felt for Arthurâs pulse in his neck, and felt it beating there, slow and steady, for a long time against his fingers. The dwale had taken hold of him, and he slept almost peacefully, as if he were merely resting, and hadnât almost bled to death all over Merlinâs bedclothes.
~~~~
The sun had just crested over the browning elm, its light shining on their half-naked and shivering limbs, by the time Arthur woke. Merlin was rising from stirring the stew over the hearth when he noticed the eyes on him. He froze, and the stare that passed between them could not have been broken by holy flood nor hellfire.
âMerlin?â Arthur rasped. He made to sit up and grimaced, clutching his side.
âDonât move,â Merlin said, bustling over to him. âYouâll pull your stitches.â With a hand on Arthurâs shoulder, he helped guide him back down; then he stood back.
Merlin had long grown used to the quiet: the days filled with nothing but the sounds in the trees and his own absentminded humming, but now, with the familiar eyes looking up at him, the silence was oppressive, and he felt the urgent need to fill it.
for @merthurmicrofic ︹"exile" ︹2047 words
Merlin's barely recovered from the shock of hearing a polite knock on his very remote little cottage, when he swings the door open to find Arthur Pendragon staring at him. "I've been exiled," Arthur says calmly. "May I come in?"
"What?" Merlin wheezes.
Arthur seems to take that as invitation enough, shouldering past Merlin to enter. Dimly, Merlin notices he's wearing his long traveling coat, his sword at his hip, and a pack slung over his shoulder. "You keep this place just as messy as you did my chambers," Arthur tuts, looking over the humble interior of Merlin's cottage. His nose wrinkles in distaste as he looks at the dirty bowls on the table sat next to tinctures of bitter and poisonous plants, and Merlin's few articles of clothing drying on all the chair-backs. "Honestly, Merlin, what would your mother think?"
He swings his pack around, throws it down on the table, and begins to remove his coat. "I," Merlin breathes. "You. What are youâ"
"Please tell me you have some actual meat in this hovel," Arthur adds. "It's a very long ride from Camelot, and I didn't stop to hunt for fear that I wouldn't make it here before nightfall."
He removes his coat, folding it and putting it up on a nail that sticks out from a wall. He turns and looks at Merlin expectantly. "Well?"
"EXILE?!" Merlin shrieks. "What are youâ you're notâ how did you evenâ"
His magic is bubbling up inside of him, confused, hurt, and restless. If Merlin hadn't already checked that it is indeed Arthur standing in front of him, he'd have thought the man an imposter. "How did you find me?" he settles on, hands curling into fists in an effort to control his raging emotions.
"I didn't," Arthur says. He leans over, absentmindedly straightening a pile of scrolls Merlin left askew. "I always knew where you went."
"What?"
@merthurmicrofic | feast | 625 words
When Arthur is born, he cries for three days straight, and nothing that Gaius or the wet nurse can do will soothe him.
âHe misses his mother, sire,â says Gaiusâthe only one who has dared to mention Queen Ygraine since her passing. Uther stares down at the boy in the crib, his own eyes red-rimmed with grief.
âHeâll have to learn to do without her,â he says.
+
Perhaps thatâs where it starts. Without his mother, Arthur is passed from nurse to nursemaid as he grows, and from nursemaid to tutors when he gets old enough. His father is always there, distant but commanding, and Arthur seeks out the scraps of his approval like a rat in a maze, scouring the citadel in search of satiety.
He doesnât cry anymore. There is always someone who has more need of sorrow, just as there is always someone who has more need of bread, and a prince must learn to think of his people before himself. Instead, he makes the best of what he has. A handshake here. A backslap there. On the day he wins his first real tournament, there is an entire banquet hosted in his honour, and Arthur dines out on his fatherâs applause for months before the cupboard runs bare.
+
Then, Merlin comes to Camelot.
prompt: exile
They had been riding for 5 hours in silence. 5 hours since Arthur had been exiled, and Merlin had followed him without a word.
5 hours since Merlin had stopped a dagger with magic in front of the court. 5 hours since Uther had ordered Merlin's execution. 5 hours since Arthur had taken the blame instead.
5 hours since Arthur had claimed he had been the one to make the dagger freeze in mid-air.
5 hours since Arthur claimed he'd been practicing magic.
And now they were here.

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Arthurâs wrists burn. His head aches; his feet have gone numb.
âOh, good, youâre awake.â
Arthur blinks blearily into consciousness, eyes cracking open just enough to settle on a blurry, familiar figure.
âCome on. Rise and shine.â
Arthur tries to raise his fists and rub at his eyes, but heâs bound to the chair. He canât move an inch.
âMerlin?â He squeezes his eyes shut, hoping his vision will clear. âWhat happened? Where are we?â
âCenredâs kingdom,â Merlin says, but his voice isnât as light as Arthurâs grown accustomed to. He sounds gruff. Stilted.
âMorgause crossed our path. Cast a spell and knocked you out.â
Arthur sputters in disbelief. âShe could not have possibly knocked me out.â
âWhatever you need to tell yourself, sire.â
As his vision sharpens at last, Arthur realises theyâre in Cenredâs throne room. Sconces turn the stone walls a rich orange, and the room smells strongly of sword polish. The throne is empty. Merlin paces before it.
Arthur frowns. âThey didnât tie you up.â
âNot like Iâm much of a threat,â Merlin says, half-smiling, but thereâs no light in his eyes.
Dread begins to creep into Arthurâs chest.
âWhereâs Cenred? Knowing him, I thought heâd take the opportunity to gloat.â
A shadow passes over Merlinâs face, and Arthur watches as his lips lift in a minuscule smirk.
âDead.â
Arthurâs stomach drops. He grips the chair.
âMorgause killed him?â
âNo.â
A moment passes.
âMerlin,â he says slowly, âwhatâs going on?â
Merlin gets to his feet in a sudden, fluid movement.
âI keep on making mistakes for you,â he says. âI keep hurting people for you.â
Arthur fights to keep his voice steady. âWhat are you talking about?â
Footsteps echo against stone, and in the millisecond before she rounds the corner, Arthur knows who it will be. He watches the future play out in that breath, and everything heâs brushed aside returns with a vengeance. It hurts. Itâs painful.
âAll will be explained in due time, dear brother. But firstâŚâ Morgana stands before him, hair braided back and a sword at her hip. She lifts her hand, and a scroll of parchment appears out of thin air.
Arthur shouts, surprise and terror pounding in his chest.
âWe have a list of demands.â
Merlin sinks into Cenredâs throne. âGet comfortable.â
for @merthurmicrofic âs prompt pain | 381 words
a taste of power
fill for @merlinmicrofic prompt 'Alchemy', Arthur & Merlin, Teen, no archive warnings (498w)
Arthur stares at the dilapidated storefront. It's hard to believe the man he's been searching for could be living here. Leon places a warm hand on his shoulder. "There are still two more names." Arthur carefully does not flinch. He gives Leon a glance. There's a bemused smile lingering on his lips, but all Arthur can see are three arrows sticking out of his chest, his throat slit. Even in his death, he hadn't let go of his sword. A loyal knight to the end. "Merlin Wyllt could be the one," Arthur says, averting his eyes. The memory is not as easy to shake. "Wait here." He crosses the street and pushes open the door. Surprisingly, it doesn't fall off the hinges. A floral scent obscures herbs and something acrid. Magic. The insidious power behind alchemy and sorcery. It had taken everything from Arthur. And yet it had also given him a chance. Footsteps creak along the floor and Arthur looks over to see a younger man entering the room. This must be Merlin. Disappointment curdles inside Arthur's chestâblue eyes. "Hello. Can I help you, friend?" "Do you sell healing potions here?" Arthur asks. Even if the eyes don't match, there's still one more thing to check. "Sure. What can you tell me about the injury?" "The⌠injury?" "Yes," Merlin replies, impatience creeping into his tone. "Size, location, depth, time since occurrence. The weapon used would also be helpful." Arthur blinks. Every alchemist he's tested so far just gave him a potion and sent him on his way. "Don't you have a standard-grade potion?" "Standard grade." The alchemist scoffs disdainfully. "Complete nonsense. Every injury and person is unique! How could one potion work the same on two different people?" Arthur considers his options for a moment, then says, "How about⌠two inches long, forearm, not cutting through muscle? The timingâŚ" He pulls out a dagger from his belt and sweeps it across his forearm without hesitation. "Now." "What the fuck!" the alchemist shrieks. "Why the fuckâ" Even as he curses, he pulls out three blue vials and mixes them with practiced familiarity. Merlin shakes it three times and then his eyes flare gold. Arthur freezes, memories of the battlefield crashing over him. Swords clang against armor. Lightning splits the sky. His blood roars in his ears as Emrys approaches him and pours the liquid over Arthur's forearm. The cut seals without a lingering trace. But Arthur pays it no mind. He's lost in the sensation of Emrys' magic. It's like the ocean. Wild and fathomless. There is nothing else like it in this world. "Don't you ever do that again!" the alchemist who will kill him in ten years scolds him hotly. It would be easy to kill him now. But⌠his power had been enough to win Morgana the crown and war. She had found him first then, but now Arthur has reached him first. He won't squander this chance. This time, the crown will be his.
The 2026 WIP Big Bang & WIP Reverse Bang Is Open For Sign-Ups!
Welcome to a new round! This is the thirteenth year we've hosted the WIP Big Bang, which is for finishing fic and getting art to go with it, and introducing the third year we've had the WIP Reverse Bang, which is for finishing artwork and getting fic to go with it. All fandoms/ratings/ships are welcome, including original works!
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@merthurmicrofic prompt: hole Word count: 711
There was a man in his woods.
Technically, they were not his woods, but Merlin felt authorised to recognise them as such since he had never seen anyone else in them for as long as he had lived there in the little hut, hidden in their verdant depths.
But now there was a man. Quite possibly a dead one.
He was not exactly hard to miss. Even covered in as much mud and muck as he was, the red cloak stuck out like a violent spot against the tranquillity of the green wood. He looked like the river had had its savage way with him and upon tasting only sweat and blood and steel spat him back out.
Merlin had only gone in the moonlight to scavenge in the undergrowth for mushrooms, and had not expected there to be an unmoving mass of cloak and mail prone on the riverâs bank, but now he supposed he was expected to deal with it. The lump himself didnât seem to be doing anything about it.
Upon first sight of the ragged figure, Merlinâs heart had come up into his throat. There was no mistaking the blazing red cape, nor the fine golden dragon stitched into its fabric. Merlin set down his foraging basket, fingers trembling. It wasnât him. It wouldnât be him. He went to him.
When Merlin turned the cold body over, his heart nearly came out of him, along with the contents of his stomach. Despite his many years as a recluse, Merlin had wits enough to know it was considered inappropriate to vomit on the unsuspecting or unconscious, and swallowed it back down with his heart.
âArthur.â
His voice cracked around the name like a lake frozen over; one misplaced foot, one treacherous step to his doom. It would soon be Arthurâs unless he acted quickly. There was a hole in his mail and in his abdomen, dripping dark and unrepentant all over the forest floor, which did not deserve it.
Merlin drank in the pale, sweating faceâso ghostly in the moonlight and still so beautiful that it ached in him. There were lines between his brows and in the corners of his eyes that hadnât been there when Merlin had last seen him; he wanted to trace his finger over them, map out each and every wrinkle that he hadnât been there to witness, or be the cause of.
There was a roiling in him now, equal parts fear and anger. If Arthur hadnât been actively dying, Merlin would have shaken him. He wanted to grab him and yell, âThis is so like you, you great lumbering arse! You exiled me! You told me not to come back! And now you show up in my woods expecting me to save your life?! I should leave you to the foxes.â
But of course, he did not. Instead, he pressed his hand to Arthurâs wound to slow the bloodâs incessant spread. And when Arthur groaned and choked out Merlinâs name around a bubble of bloody spittle, Merlin hushed him.
âKnew youâdâyouâd find me.â
Nine years. Nine long years of solitude and shame and grief and homesickness and heâd not seen hide nor hair of Arthur in all that time. And now he was here, in Merlinâs woods, with his stupid lovely face and his stupid mortal wound and his stupid faith in Merlin to be there.
âDonât talk.â
The corner of Arthurâs lips lifted. âAll this time and you still havenât learned.â
âI know, I know. You give the orders, right?â
Arthur coughed, and more blood stained his lips. âNot for much longer, I donât think.â
âDonât be so dramatic,â Merlin said quickly. âYouâre not going to die. I wonât let you.â Arthur did not have to know about the foxes. âAnd youâre not allowed to, okay? I donât give a trollâs saggy tit if youâre the king; Iâve got a decade of bothering you to make up for and youâre not getting out of it that easily. Alright?â
Arthurâs eyes were full of starlight. For a moment he looked so far away, Merlin wasnât sure heâd heard him. Then, âYouâreâkeeping me alive just so you can annoy me to death?â
Merlin smiled. âExactly.â
Arthurâs lips twitched. âOkay.â
Kickstarting âThe Reverse Centaurâs Guide to Life After AIâ
My next book, The Reverse Centaur's Guide to Life After AI, will be out in about a month â and (once again) Amazon's monopoly audiobook platform refuses to carry it, and so (once again) I'm pre-selling the audio, ebook and print edition in a Kickstarter campaign that proves that DRM-free isn't just the right way to reach an audience, it's also the best way to reach them:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/the-reverse-centaurs-guide-to-life-after-ai
Reverse Centaur is a book about the realpolitik and the political economy of AI, written by a tech critic (me!) who is sick to the back teeth of hearing about AI. Central to the book's thesis:
The AI bubble is exceptionally bad and dangerous:
https://pluralistic.net/2026/05/07/dump-the-pumpers/#alpo-eaters-anonymous
The AI bubble is part of a lineage of pump-and-dump swindles created by monopolists who are desperate to convince investors that they can continue to grow even after they've saturated their markets:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/03/06/privacy-last/#exceptionally-american
In service to that stock swindle, AI companies have cooked up all kinds of ways to "juke the stats" to paint a false picture of AI adoption:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/05/02/kpis-off/#principal-agentic-ai-problem

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