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hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

they should invent a job that doesn't affect your schedule or energy level that you don't have to go to if you don't want but you still get paid

eating would be fine if it was only a recreational activity. instead, its a horrible sisiphean nightmare and you need to do it every day without fail on threat of pain and death

Ugh who closed last night, twisted amalgamations of flesh and fur are everywhere 😑 🧹

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already