CaluaCalva

https://www.cavestory.org/download/cave-story.php

I beat FFXII last night finally, and I wanted to try new game plus so I did. Everything was going as well as could be. 

(You start at level 90 so, you’re strong.)

As a result of this newfound strength my confidence soared into vertigo-inducing heights. That is… until HE came.

Now you’re asking me with bated breath: “God damn it, just get to the point what happened?!”

WELL I’M GETTING THERE. 

So, for those who have played FFXII… you know the Flowering Cactoid is an early game hunt. It’s supposed to be easy. Knowing this, I was screwing around with it taking vid for gifs. And I’m level 90, what’s the worst that could happen? My lack of respect for my opponent would be my downfall. 

Did you know… that the Flowering Cactoid has the potential to blind you via melee attacks? Because I went to school that day, and the lesson was: 

“Excruciatingly Slow Beating by Tiny Bi-Pedal Succulent.”

I couldn’t hit him. At all. I’m level 90 and this vertically challenged son of a bitch cactus is dodging my every swing. I’ve never seen anything like it. 

THE FACE OF A KILLER DESERT PLANT HE’S FLOWERED AND READY TO PHOTOSYNTHESIZE YOUR ASS.

I’m screaming, I’m guzzling potions, I’m swinging in absolute desperation. Trying to delay my inevitable fate, but it was all for vain.

So to close: Yes, the Flowering Cactoid went through 4559 of my new game plus HP with nothing more than hits for 15-18 damage. And I couldn’t land a SINGLE attack while blind. NOT ONCE.