Call me Cat

Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

(flirting) you're beautiful btw. im going to piss you off on purpose

A warning

tomorrow

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

you're cute and it's tuesday

when girls say “you’re so tall” it means they want you to manhandle them btw

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)