Captain Brie

Are you back in contact with him now, or? That sounds like a nice dynamic to have though, I bet your mom felt like your third sister, right? Especially if she was the one coming in at all hours. My father passed away a little over five years ago, so it’s like the roles have reversed and it’s us boys who are doing the smothering of our mom now - not like she needs it, she’s one hell of a tough cookie. It’s a valid argument? I could’ve said ‘that Jabba the hut face’ and you could’ve got offended…not that you do look like him…it’s just an example…going to shut up now. You’re a little diva at heart, aren’t you? A shoutout and a Chipotle, that’s my final offer.

Eh, sort of. Superficially anyway. I don’t know that we’ll ever be close though. Not so much when we were kids, no, but now definitely. We’re all pretty tight which is probably why having too much of a relationship with my dad feels like a bit of a betrayal. I remember hearing about that, I’m sorry, can’t be easy at all. Even if she doesn’t need it, she probably deserves it so she’s lucky to have you guys. Shutting up seems like the best plan, so let’s just go with that, shall we? Why am I diva?? Alright, throwing Chipotle in there is practically cheating - you’re not allowed to use my weaknesses against me!

Of course I am, but just know that there’s a ten minute block limit with each episode, so use your time wisely. Well, yeah, but I’m sure you’ll also end up being the face of 2017. I mean, aren’t you playing Captain Marvel this year? That’s pretty huge. Formal introduction are always nice, though, so I’m not judging. 

Ten? That’s like barely even a quarter of an episode, what am I supposed to do the rest of the time?! Make it fifteen and I’ll even bring the popcorn! It is huge, frighteningly huge, actually so let’s see how it goes before we jump to any crazy conclusions about that one! My face isn’t the one that’s been plastered on teen girl’s walls for the past decade, so I mean if were going to talk about the face of anything, it should probably be that!

How many siblings do you have, anyway? Just the one sister? Being the eldest is both a blessing and a curse - my parents were definitely more strict with me growing up, then Tom and Dave probably seemed like angels in comparison in their teens so they got it easy. A puppy is the least insulting animal I could’ve compared you too, come on, you should be happy. Maybe you’re like a little chihuahua…because you have a lot of bite? I was thinking more like I’d give you a shoutout in the acknowledgments?

Just the one - my dad left when I was pretty young though and it was just us and my mom, so I don’t think she actually ended up with it much easier to be entirely honest. We both kind of had to grow up and help out - plus, I wasn’t exactly a rebellious kid so she tended to get in more trouble than I did without even really trying.  so  Oh yes, the ‘it could be worse’ argument - always a winner. No deal - a shoutout doesn’t really do me any good.

They’re my children, the apples of my eye, my soulmates, my cats. Hm, I guess it’s hard to tell if a lot of my humor is indeed bullshit, but I’ll make a point to pitch my jokes to you before I actually deliver them so I can get a second opinion. Oh hell no, no one else is allowed to trash talk your siblings, only your family has the right. I do however feel like you need to work on your ‘threatening’ response - I don’t see an evil glare coming from your puppy face doing all that much. That’s some deep shit, right there. Truly inspiring, can I use that in my next self titled book? 

I should have seen that coming. I think you’re probably okay. Mostly. If you want a review though, I’m happy to help. Right? Trash talking them is like the only advantage to being older, so no one else gets to share in that. Also, despite it, I love her to death but don’t ever tell her I said that. Puppy face? I think I should be offended by that, although you are right that it doesn’t incite a lot of fear. It’s a good cover though - when I actually do decide to pull out the bitch side no one sees it coming. Sure, but I get a cut then. 60/40 should work.

You should give into that curiosity and check the show out. I’m not the biggest fan of it, but it makes for a good binge session. And, hey, if you ever need someone to come over and watch it with you, then I’m your dude. I know who you are; you’ve practically taken over the entertainment industry over the last two years. Kudos to you on that. 

Are you going to laugh at me when I use you as a blockade when stuff goes down that I don’t want to see? This is an important question for any good Netflix partner to answer. Ha, well thanks - that was so 2016 though, I get to back to being just boring old Brie this year! I mean, obviously I know of you too, I just figured a formal introduction was in order.

There are only two beings on this planet that I trust enough to tell of my secrets to and their names are Sammy and Zelda. I’m going to say no if you’re easily triggered but yes if you can appreciate humor, which I know you can. Still, you’re not ready for these innuendos, we’re not there yet. Luckily, we’re both kidding, because any rivalry between Davy and I is always out of love, I couldn’t really say a single bad word about that boy. I like it up here on my pedestal. I feel indestructible and the view isn’t half bad.

I have no idea who either of those people are, but that seems like a small list - you should expand you circle some. Thank-you, I do appreciate humor...if it’s funny. It’s also used a screen for a lot of bullshit though, so I don’t like to prejudge until I’ve seen the goods. I say plenty of bad words about my sister - mostly to my sister - but if anyone else tried to say that crap, they’d feel my wrath. Which is pretty much just a really mean glare, but it does the trick. Ah, but it’s the fall that will get you. Just don’t trip.

To be a good friend to me, Larson. You wouldn’t want to exploit me now, would you? Probably a little bit of both? The only thing that could make it worse was if I had started using food-related innuendos. So many are springing to mind. Must keep them contained. You say that like I’d mind if you took Dave’s side? I think we can all agree - well, all of us who aren’t prejudice - that life would be great if it had a delete button. Then I’d have to refer them to some kind of psyche ward because they’re clearly a danger to humanity?

As a good friend, I think I’d want to know what you’re really thinking! Probably, that’s a good assessment. I probably don’t want to know, do I? Don’t answer that, I’m certain I don’t! Rude, but no, no, I wouldn’t assume such a thing ever but whether you mind or not, I was almost entirely kidding. I’m not nearly self-involved enough to actually think I’d be drug into your sibling thing at all.  It would be handy, wouldn’t it? Science should get in this. Soooo...no one - or at least ‘a lot of people’ can’t reach your level but anyone who doesn’t is dangerous? That’s an awful high pedestal to put yourself on.

That movie has to offend someone somewhere to be able to start a protest. People are so damn fucking sensitive it must, so I must find them and have them cause issue and bye bye movie. The bad hair should cover it though. 

You could always use Bella and the feminist stand point, that should gain some traction. Netflix is especially known for it’s portrayal of kick ass woman, so you never know, might work.  It’s been a long while since I’ve seen any of them, but I don’t recall your hair being too bad. Some of the other though...okay.

It was terrible. I finally put my foot down and got them to agree to let me eat them as long as I up my work out routine. It’s a hard feat to master.

That’s a good tactic, I may have to steal it and use it myself! Anyway, I’m Brie by the way! Thanks for the tip!

I hope there’s something to it because then a lot people would be spending a lot of money on nothing.

I don’t know, I mean technically yes, but even if it’s a placebo, if it makes you feel better, it might be worth it. Depends on the person, I guess.

I just spent the last few weeks binge watching The Walking Dead and I have to admit that I’m pretty stressed out. What’s with all these dudes suddenly letting their true evil colors show once the apocalypse starts? Why is everyone constantly trying to fight each other? Does nobody realize that working together and taking care of each other would pretty much guarantee their survival, and that killing each other doesn’t? It’s too much. I can only hope that my zombie survival team will be much smarter once the real thing happens. Anyways, hey, I’m Zac and television annoys the fuck outta me. 

Alright, I don’t watch the Walking Dead because I’m an absolute chicken and zombies are just...no but this seemed hella relevant for so many reasons and now I’m kind of curious. Not that I’d ever be able to actually watch it on my own, I’d spend half the episode watching through my fingers even with company, but regradless, hell yes to all of this! That all said, I think I’d still rather a zombie apocalypse to a Purge type scenario. Maybe. Both seem terrible actually. Anyway hey, hi! I’m Brie.

Remind me to never run my mouth around you ever, or you’ll pick it up in a second and be able to reference back certain quotes I’ve said. That’s definitely true though, we Franco’s are very family orientated. Who says I want the worthwhile things? Who has time for the worthwhile things? I like my conquests to be like getting a burger from In ‘N Out. But being hard on him is my favorite pastime? You’ve just given me another reason to tease the shit out of him. At least you have more patience with those sort of people than me, I always just feel like I’m losing braincells every time they even try to rationalise homophobia and shit like that. Maybe even invite it, honestly. I quite like people struggling to understand me, it just shows that I’m on my own personal level that a lot of people can’t reach. Or so I like to think?

Why would I do that? I’d miss out on all the juicy stuff then. I don’t know what’s worse - that you just referred to them as ‘conquests’ or that you compared them to fast food. You get what you give, I suppose though, so it explains a few things. Don’t bring me into your sibling rivalry, him and I have way more history so if it come to it, I’d have to choose his side! I’m not sure I’d call it patience - I like to think most people are good and I always give them a chance to prove it but if you’re going to spew hateful words, whether homophobic, racist, sexist, whatever, it’s going to get deleted faster than you can blink. If I only I could do the same thing in real life when people say asinine things, all my problems would be solved. Perhaps they understand you perfectly though and still don’t like what they see. Then what?

I remember when I first had fit into the supersuit– donuts were the choice of food I had to cut out. It wasn’t fun at first, to say the least. So I feel your pain.

I don’t know how you do it, to be honest - at least a movie is a short term thing, but twenty plus episodes? I’d be crying in a corner somewhere until someone brought me a pizza. Also, now I kind of want donuts too.

I suppose not, I guess I just underestimated how much you knew about me. Ugh, really? I’ve forgotten how to put in ground work with a girl, usually I’m just like “shall I get a hotel room?” and it works for me…apart from that one fatal time, obviously. Now I actually have to…try? Double ugh. I expect it from Jonah, but if only Davy knew you were going to rat him out for talking shit about me - even if it was in good nature - I’m gonna get that boy back. Those kind of people that unfollow you because they want to turn a blind eye to what’s happening, or don’t allow you to have your own opinion aren’t the sort of people that you want to be associated with anyway. It makes me laugh whenever I post a photo of myself kissing another dude how many comments there are like “unfollowing you” - thanks for making my job easier? At least now I don’t have to block every one of you assholes? I’m used to people rolling their eyes at me now, so I just sorta expect it.

First lesson in Brie Larson: she’s pretty observant. Also, I think it runs in your family. I mean, sure, if you want to take the easy route and it works for you, then by all means. No one said you had to do anything though, I’ve just found that the most worthwhile things require a little effort. There’s no glory without sacrifice, as they say. You know, I didn’t really get the feeling he was keeping it a secret or I wouldn’t have said anything, you should go easy on him! Believe me, I’m not losing any sleep over them - I’m perfectly open to frank and rational discussions, even when we disagree, but I’m quick to the delete button for ridiculous comments like that. There’s enough shit in this world right now without that kind of nonsense. Awwww, do you just expect it, or you just plain invite it at this point?

I have to play a character recently suffering from an eating disorder and I got to an unhealthy weight. Loosing the weight like that especially after my previous battles with eating disorders was really hard. Luckily I had a really good support group and i got pregnant not long after so that helped me get the weight back. My advice is fuck the suit, eat the pizza.

Oh man, I can imagine how difficult that must have been for you! It’s hard enough to do, but when you have your own personal connection to it’s got to be even tougher! I’m glad you had great support around you to help. Fortunately this time around it’s more about tone than weight loss, but it still means pizza is on the no-no list, but that hasn’t stopped from sneaking a little. Shh, don’t tell!