do you think i come off as not humble?

Fuck you. Remind me again how any of that was helpful? Do you honestly think I didn’t know it was fucked when he showed up that day? It was humiliating enough to have that shit on display in front of you and everyone else, the last thing I needed was someone else who claimed to ‘care’ about me telling me what I needed to do. I needed a fucking friend, not another fucking man who figured he knew better. What don’t you get about that?

You know what? If that’s the way you want to look at it, then fine. Fuck it. I had nothing but your best interest at heart but if you want to carry on believing that all men suck as much as your ex and no one could possibly care for the sake of caring about you, then who am I to try and tell you any different? You’re right, forgive me, I just wanted you to get away from your controlling fiancee so I could do the exact same thing to you myself. Guess I’m not so much of a friend, after all.

Oh gee, was that hard for you, James? How incredibly selfish of me, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You deserve a fucking medal. From now on, I’ll just bring anyone I plan to fuck around for your stamp of approval. Or is it just the ones I plan to marry? Please, stop me when this starts sounding ridiculous. I’ve known you for years and you never treated me like I was stupid. Or helpless. So I don’t know why you suddenly thought I needed to be fucking rescued, but I didn’t.

Oh, you didn’t? Remind me how your marriage is going again, Amber? Everything still peachy? I know you tell yourself that you can fight your own battles and I fully support that, but that doesn’t mean it’s a crime for other people to want to help you. If you’re so offended by the idea of having a support system then continue to push the people who actually give a shit away, you’re doing a swell job of it right now.

You know what actually hurt? That someone I cared about and whose opinion actually fucking mattered to me chose to use that to criticize instead of support me.  And you’re still acting like you know more about my relationship than I did - newsflash, I may not have ten pieces of paper congratulating my brains, but I’m not a fucking idiot. Of course. Because you being right is what’s important here.

Fuck, Amber. Do you think I wanted to play the bad guy and tell my friend she was about to marry an utter asshole? Do you think that brought me some sick sort of joy? I was just being brutally honest, it was the only way I could get through to you. I’m not pretending to know much about your relationship, I’m only going off what I saw myself. Shame on me for caring, right? Guess I should’ve kept my mouth shut and let it happen.

moodboard; james franco & vanessa hudgens

You can say insignificant, it’s okay. Today, of all days, I think all the moms deserve the credit, so we can agree on that much. So, just a round about told you so then? You mean the unsolicited advice about something you knew next to nothing about? I was about to marry the guy, James, what did you think was going to happen?  I hope you’re not waiting for me to say you were right, because fuck that.

If you want to call giving advice to someone you care about to prevent them from getting hurt unsolicited then yeah, that. I may not have known the ins and outs of your relationship, but I could see he was a real stand up guy when he had to come and ‘check up on you’ on set. That relationship was built on a hell of a lot of trust, evidently. Whatever, you don’t need to say it out loud. 

Clearly not the smartass part though. The one thing I’ll give you is that that is probably true but I’m gong to credit your mom for it. The divorce I could have handled, so more the everything else that went with it, I guess? If this is leading anywhere near an I told you so, let’s just stop now, okay?

That part is virtually indestructible - it was a smaller, less important part. I’ll accept that, I owe a lot to my mom for the way she brought us up so we’ll give her all the credit. I’m not going to say I told you so, I’m not that much of a dick, but I do wish you’d have taken my advice. Could have saved you a whole lot of trouble, you know. 

Oh ouch, did it hurt to admit that? Teach her to love without being dependent? And since we’re teaching your hypothetical children, make sure the boys understand a miniskirt isn’t an invitation? The way things have been going, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true. Which is depressing - no offense. Whatever, it’s not like I beat you. I could be much worse.

A part of me literally died. Oh I will, don’t worry. No son of mine is going to grow up to be a misogynistic asshole. The way things have been going? Is this about the divorce or something else as well? Right, that would make you trash, like someone else we know. 

I’m surprised you had never heard about it before. I felt like I was the headline of all the tabloids when all of it was going down. It was terrible and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. It’s Nikki Reed. She was in the Twilight movies and a few others. She was one of my best friends until that happened. It was just awkward all around for a long time, and still kind of is. You sure you don’t mean that as a sexual innuendo? Because I wouldn’t mind that either. Are you saying that I was born so you could make me happy? I can live with that.

I must’ve been immersed in some other shit, because I can imagine you were a hot topic for a long time. Do you want me to offer up some smack talk and tell you he downgraded or are you past all that now? I can imagine - did they meet though you, as well? Take it however you want to, just don’t get offended when I come around and pay more attention to your real cat. Exactly, just like that shitty Britney Spears song.

I really don’t think there is. Unless you want to top the shakes with their McFlurries. Their Reese’s shakes were the best thing ever created. But I’m convinced McDonald’s has a personal vendetta against me, because they were discontinued. I’ve never gotten over it.

Now I’m just pissed at the world that I never got to try one. Two heavenly things combined would’ve for sure given me diabetes, though. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise for both of us.

You and me both, i mean some times it steers you wrong and you come across some dude licking his foot or something but other times you’re just finding gem after gem. Hey, hey, hey be nice Franco, my music taste is phenomenal. No but really you’ll like it, trust me. 

That’s a real nice way of ensuring no one questions the odd videos on your watched list. I swear ‘all lesbian scenes in history compiled’ just came on automatically. How did that happen? I’m more of a fan of your own music? That’s my polite way of saying I wasn’t sold without you being pissed. 

moodboard; james franco & nina dobrev