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@callitchange
Now I’ve a reason to live

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@systlin I feel like this is accurate for both of us
This is entirely correct and accurate.Â
Despite the fact that I occasionally compulsively overshare, people somehow still manage to know nothing about me
So. 10th grade English class. We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing. A couple of people try to ask her and she says we’ll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she’ll be back in a couple of minutes
Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So, y’know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat; one of the boys teasingly steals a girl’s balloon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it’s quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back, stops in the doorway, and just stares at us
After a long moment, she says, confused, “You didn’t pop the balloons.”
To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, “We’re allowed to pop them?” and immediately turns around and stabs his friend’s balloon with the pencil
There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates’ balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t pop your balloons.”
Apparently we were starting Lord of the Flies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever
Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom. On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the list of tasks. Task 1- the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two: tidy up the room. So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three: Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher. After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING. She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice. She tried to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didn’t get the point across
That’s because lord of the flies isn’t representative of humanity it’s representative of rich white male shitheads
*any dying character*: i’m just… i’m just gonna rest for a while… i’m really tired…
Me:

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Yall think the gods take classics classes for fun
Professor: whys your drawing look like that lol artemis would be paler
Apollo, twin sister to Artemis, has seen her at least once a week for 4,000 years:
professor: ares is the god of war and is evil.
ares:
Professor: Hades is the god of the underworld and is therefore evil and cold and heartless
Persephone, who has seen her husband cry secret tears of Manly Anguish every time she has to go live with her mother for six months:
Professor: Not even the crack of dawn was safe from Zeus. Zeus:
Angela calling Fareeha to come pick her up from this new brawl.Â
Angela calling Fareeha to come pick her up from this new brawl.Â
None of the comments on the right work anyway. EVER.
Captain marvel everybody

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cause of death: brie larson’s jawline
Real recognizes real.
I finally got curious and decided to google this story, and the headline is just the tip of the iceberg.Â
Let it never be said again that journalism is a humorless business.
Covering an odd tale about a 14-year-old autistic boy who was handcuffed by police and suspended for running down the sidelines of a high school football game at halftime wearing a banana costume, Washington, D.C. reporter Pat Collins donned a grape suit and went out to get his story.
Speaking to Bryan Thompson, who pulled the prank on Sept. 14 and found himself at the center of a controversy over the school’s response, Collins’ sarcastic outrage seemed palpable.
“School officials accused him of being disruptive and disrespectful,” Collins said. “Frankly, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”
He asked the student: “Why a banana? Why not a … grape?”
“I don’t know,” Thompson replied. “Potassium is great.”
Following the prank, Colonial Forge High School Principal Karen Spillman suspended Thompson for 10 days, and even recommended that he be kicked out of school for the entire year.
Shortly thereafter, Thompson had composed his own rap song about the incident (called “Free Banana Man!”), set up a Facebook page dedicated to “Banana Man,” and someone even launched a petition calling for his suspension to be lifted.
Thompson’s outrage at the punishment was shared by his fellow students, who began creating yellow t-shirts that read, “Free Banana Man!”
So the school did what schools so often do when their authority is challenged: they banned the shirts, began confiscating them, and sent students to detention for supporting their classmate.
That’s when the American Civil Liberties Union got involved, telling the principal that her actions were unconstitutional.
“But when you think about it, you might see [the school’s] point,” Collins jokingly concluded. “It starts with a banana. Then, all of the sudden, you have an apple, and an orange, and maybe a grape! And before you know it, you have fruit salad in the schools! We can’t have that.”
The school’s principal was ultimately forced to resign, and Thompson has since returned to his studies. [x]
NICE
“I don’t know,” Thompson replied. “Potassium is great.”
In today’s episode of “Hozier Liked”:
If tony stark is such a genius why did it take him 40 years of life to realize that bombs kill people

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hozier is literally the only valid man