im here. im queer. im sad. ✌

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso

Random tumblr blog roleplays as a philosopher. Shocks the masses by using big words just to say they think theyre better than you because you watch movies. WHHAAAAT?

thats right

the biggest word in this post is “entertained”

call me a wish mouse the way she [remembers wish mice are creatures from a particularly gruesome dream my friend had several years ago and are not recognizable figures to anyone else] whatever

Who names their character Susan

I’m poisoning an enchanted crossbow, which I gave a nickname to so I wouldn’t accidentally sell it. The name of the weapon is “delicious quinoa, Susan”.