Childish

Remember: behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this occasion

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

why do monkeys and apes get tails but I don't. evolution what the hell

thanks gorilla with autism you would know about this wouldn't you

I could be the person writing one time verification codes. 873726. 290971. 041452. 667656. It comes naturally to me.

rip Achilles you would’ve loved hightop sneakers

you know i got that wiimote strap on

i didn’t mean it like that and y’all know it :(

i miss the real gun emoji so much

alien (1979) and aliens (1986) are two of the most powerful film titles in cinema history. like the first one? yeah its about an alien. and the second one? brother take a guess

i have such a profound hate for stories that go 'what if just some guy like literally just some guy was thrown into these horrible circumstances with huge stakes' and then take it back and go 'haha he is not just some guy, he's the specialest little boy in the planet, last in a long line of specialest little boys, it was in his blood all along'

You can't claim that your narrative is a profound commentary on human nature if the human representative is Spiders Georg

Still think about “first day of standing lessons” regularly

dress codes that arent ppe are stupid as fuck. as an adult human being with a (relatively) functioning brain i have never walked into a place and given a fuck what an employee was wearing. “professional” okay bitch i can make up adjectives too. “grundlous” see easy

whats grundlous mean

of or pertaining to grundle