The Hurl Next Door

i work as an actor at a haunted house and this little girl who was dressed as a cat came through she saw me and was like “no thank you please dont get closer i am already scared” and i was like alright i appreciate the good manners ill back off. so her dad picks her up and starts going down the rest of my dark hall and i just hear her yell “everybody wait! i dropped my ears” so i find them and give them to her dad and she goes “thank you but i hope i never see you again goodbye” and waved over her dads shoulder. i waved back and she gave me a thumbs up. honestly this kid has a lot of guts props for being so polite when shes terrified i hope she gets a lot of candy this year

Don’t threaten me with a good time

Excuse me, mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.

our timeline got cursed the day i posted this

Yep, because baby formula is one of the most shoplifted things in America. Which should ALSO radicalize you.

Or… We stop shoplifting? 🤔 Are we demonizing acts to stop crimes now?

ill tear your head off your shoulders you dumb fuck

I’m all for radicalization like the government and society are fucked. But they put baby formula in locked cases because it is used to make meth. The store does this to keep an eye out if someone is buying way too much. Like waaaaay too much.

every august without fail is like i will give you some of the most beautiful golden summer moments of your life but also you will be thinking about childhood and loss constantly. it will always be either 5pm or 2am