🔞 lanse has no idea so don't ask

She'll fuck me if I cook good enough I know it

#billions of humans have thought this same thing over the course of the species’ history #and they were right

My grandma’s on and off again boyfriend that she cheated on grandpa with died today.

RIP to Nana’s side piece. Though they never married, Grandpa died in September and she brought his long term competition to Thanksgiving that year.

Grandma and Grandpa had a shotgun wedding when Grandma was 19. Grandpa went off to Vietnam which left her, a severely mentally young mother, alone. Never heard a complaint about her side piece Jeff. He seemed to make her happy and for that I salute him.

My grandmother broke up w my grandfather through a letter and he just pretended to have never read it. They got married and had three kids.

i’m pregnant and since I’m only ~7 weeks my husband and I don’t know a lot about our baby yet, but I like to show him progress i’m tracking on an app. with this comes size comparisons and so my husband will refer to our baby as what size they are like “how’s my sesame seed?” or “hello my love and lentil”. his recent favorite is referring to our child as our “assorted berry”

update: my baby girl (!) is now 12 weeks and we're in lemon lime territory. she is a small can of sprite