Now I’m finally alone so I can finish this post I started this morning.
For as long as I can remember, I had always wondered what life would have been like if I was born a girl. I always thought my life would be better. (Totally normal cis thing, right?)
I was fine with my body until puberty. That shit fucked me up. Depression and suicidal thoughts ran rampant as my body became more manly and I hated it. But I mean, every cis person feels that way during puberty, right?
Saving a comment where someone accidentally called me by female pronouns and looking at it when I needed to be happy. (Totally normal cis thing to do)
Hating summer months because it would be too hot to wear baggy clothes that hid my body
Avoiding swimming like the plague
Avoiding mirrors like the plague
Avoiding talking as much as possible
For some fucking reason I thought this was all normal and couldn’t understand why people were happy with their bodies.
Point is: I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember, and I just recently put the peices together. I don’t know if this was anyone else’s experience, but when it clicked, it was like I realized the meaning of life. When you know, you know, no matter what age you are.