hey i’m caf

kermit is very committed to miss piggy but they are in fact open. miss piggy has no problem sleeping around and getting what she wants when she wants it and she encourages kermit to do the same but he’s too sensitive.

kermit also cries sometimes during sex. just sometimes tho.

gonzo is a whore. he likes sleeping around, however the caveat is that camilla has to be there. camilla is a cuck.

statler and waldorf are committed and have been for ages, but oh man in their prime? when they were younger? they slept with every muppet they could find who was willing.

the entire electric mayhem sleeps with each other minus animal. he gets set off too easily. he tries meditation to join but really the calm down doesn’t last long enough and he’d be too rough. now mr teeth.

miss piggy tried getting fizzle and kermit to sleep together at least once, but kermit didn’t enjoy it bc it wasn’t her. fizzle however? whore.

uncle deadly wants to be the bitch who can sleep around, but really he can’t bring himself do it. he’s too sensitive and committed for his own good.

pepe is the biggest slut of the group.