All Cats Are Beautiful

My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’“

They just don’t assassinate politicians like they used to anymore

The bright side is, the trash usually takes itself out. This saves lots of time, and therefore, is a demonstration of allist thoughtfulness for our senses of efficiency

reblogging this because when they go through my phone and find my tumblr they’ll see this

As an actual mom, I approve this message. If your parents say it’s a normal part of parenting, no. No it’s not. They are wrong.

If your parents are your jailors, that’s not your parents, that’s living slime who fucked each other

In other words, 18 percent of respondents just yelled "lets go brandon" into the phone before hanging up.

Hannibal Montannibal

the FBI struggles to catch the him because he wears a blonde wig when he goes hunting

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

I’m constantly referring to things as the “extremely rare 6th stage of grief” but none of them will ever be as funny as the original post which i crack up at like, every single time i think abt it

always amused by people going “if that’s early stage fascism then america’s been fascist for decades!” like yes sweetie you’ve nearly got to the realization that america is a pseudo-fascist state at the best of times

What’s it like being 21 and older