.

Jinhwa moves in, giving a polite and small bow to her parents as he moves closer to Yoonah. He’s wearing a suit that Yoonah likes the color of. It’s grey, and his tie is black. Her eyes scan over his outfit before looking up at his face. His skin looks so smooth and dewy, making her fingers ache to touch it. His hair looks soft, a dark shade of brown and long. There’s a natural wave to the locks she never noticed before. Jinhwa always had a slight tousle to his hair that Yoonah liked, making her want to run her fingers through it and fix it. She always has an urge to touch him, but she never does. She’ll wait for him to touch her like she always does.

Jinhwa moves to where Yoonah’s father once stood, putting his hand on the small of her back. She feels her cheeks get hot, thanking the lord they were already flushed from her crying as she adjusts her shoulders, subconsciously sniffling once again. Yoonah rubs her cheek on her shoulder to hopefully alleviate some of the glossy sheen from her cheek. Then there’s a hand on her cheek, brushing away the wetness with a pair of knuckles that could only belong to Jinhwa. Yoonah can’t stop herself from laughing softly, ducking her head down and covering her face with her flowers. She can hear her parents laughing and feel Jinhwa laughing beside her, raising his hand from the small of her back to sling her exposed shoulders, patting her arm softly.

Despite getting goosebumps wherever Jinhwa touched her, she wished he kept his hand on the bottom of her waist. She liked it when he touched her like that, where no one could see. It felt like a secret between them. Yoonah likes having secrets. She likes making people guess and leaving them wondering, but she fears she talks too much to be seen as mysterious. She wouldn’t talk nearly as much if she and Jinhwa had a secret. For now, they don’t, and maybe they never will, but Yoonah pretends they do.

“Always so cute,” Jinhwa coos playfully, nodding towards her mother with a charming smile, “Just like her mom, yeah?” Yoonah laughs again, hitting his chest as her mother laughs as well, always liking a compliment even as she shoos away Jinhwa’s words with her hand. 

Finally, they smile at the camera. One of them smiles with her teeth while the other only his lips, making a thumbs up with the hand next to her shoulder. The camera flashes once, twice, three times before the man behind it turns the device towards them to see. Jinhwa keeps his arm around Yoonah’s shoulders, pulling her in with him to look at the photo of them on the little digital screen. 

He towers over her so easily, but Yoonah likes that. She feels safe like this. Her eyes glance over at Jinhwa with a sweet smile before at the screen, nodding happily.

“I like that one,” She tells him, her smile growing when Jinhwa hums and looks up at her, smiling as well.

“You look very pretty in it. I love this color on you.” She figures he would. He picked out all of the girl's outfits, but she pretended that meant something special between the two of them. 

“Let’s get all the girls together,” A photographer calls, grabbing their attention and popping Yoonah’s bubble. Suddenly, the room is loud again, and she’s aware it's not just her and Jinhwa. Still, he squeezes Yoonah’s shoulder before letting go to let the girls conjugate in the center of the room. Without a word, she passes him her flowers, and he takes them silently, turning away to stand with Jihan over with the rest of the Angelico staff.

Ten girls messily huddle together, Akiko adjusting everyone as a leader would to make sure they don’t look a complete mess.

“Yoonah in the center,” Akiko says simply, dragging her friend into the center, making the other girls adjust to acclimate her. 

“I want to be next to Yoonah!” A small voice calls as Yoonah finally wipes under her eyes, flipping her long, wavy black hair over her shoulder. She’s always wanted sisters, especially younger ones, and now she feels like she’s gained nine of them, but Mijoo will always be special. She’s the youngest of the group and looks it. Short and small with a baby face that everyone adores. Yoonah beckons the youngest over without a word, simply waving her hand over, causing the younger to rip out of Akiko’s hold and rush over to where Yoonah stood. Her skinny arms wrap around Yoonah’s waist, making Yoonah wrap her arm around Mijoo’s shoulders, giving her a tight yet brief hug before adjusting her to be in front, making her the center of the photo instead of herself.

Akiko sighs at the displacement but doesn’t say anything. Her sharp eyes give the group a look over before nodding, giving her nine members a thumbs up, and inserting herself into the lineup on the other side of Mijoo. The cameraman watches the madness, letting the girls adjust their postures or fix their hair before lifting up his camera.

“On the count of three, everyone say: ‘Emphasis!’” The girls laugh as the entire room begins to countdown for them. Yoonah keeps her gaze on the camera, smiling like she had practiced a million times before in the mirror as the room reaches the end of the short countdown.

“Emphasis!” The girls cheer as the camera flashes.

“Yoonah, stop crying.” 

Yoonah covers her eyes tightly with one hand, ducking her head down with a choked-up sob she tries to swallow down. Jinhwa is pacing the room like some kind of caged animal, speaking to her with a hard voice she’s never heard him use before. His office feels small, stuffy, and dimly lit due to one of his lights being off. It’s after hours. She assumes Jinhwa was getting ready to go home before this mess started. He has a family to get back to, Yoonah thinks, an overwhelming sense of guilt consuming her for what feels like the billionth time today. All Yoonah seems to know is guilt and shame. She prays for it to go away, but seems to only make it worse. Can she not be grateful for God’s blessings? She’s trying, but it’s so hard.

 Yoonah sniffles noisily, lifting her head to look at Jinhwa by the side of his desk, finally stopping his pacing to lean against it with one hand while the other runs through his thick black hair.

“I didn’t call them, sir. I swear I didn’t-”

“Yoonah,” Jinhwa sharply cuts in, raising the hand on his face to silence her. She whimpers, shutting her eyes tightly and ducking her head down again. She can’t bear the shame sitting square on her bony shoulders, practically crushing her with every passing second. She didn’t call the police, she didn’t file a report, and she didn’t want any of that. Yoonah doesn’t want any of this.

“I don’t want this,” Yoonah speaks again through a sob, looking up at the man she so greatly admired with tearful eyes. Jinhwa finally looks at her, the stress clear on his face as they lock eyes. Yoonah shakes her head, shifting in her chair for what feels like a thousand times since she sat down. “I didn’t call them, Jinhwa. I promise I didn’t. Please say you believe me,” Yoonah pleads as fat tears streak down her round cheeks and her hands fidget with the leather-covered arms of her chair.

Jinhwa stares at her for a moment longer, silent. She watches his gaze soften the longer he stares at her, taking a deep breath before he looks away at his desk and plucking a tissue from a box with haste. He moves towards her, and Yoonah leans away at first, but Jinhwa doesn’t take it into account, putting one hand on the back of her neck to still her while the other wipes her cheeks with a gentleness that doesn’t match his gaze.

Yoonah stares at him with uncertainty, brows knit and lips parted as she watches his eyes. They stare at how his hand wipes away her tears with the tissue, sliding across her cheeks as if he’s polishing a doll made of glass instead of human skin. Her hands stay against her chest like she’s ready to defend herself, sitting stiffly in his hold despite always wondering what it would feel like to be touched by him. Yoonah’s tears now roll silently down her cheeks, watching the man in front of her with another sniffle.

“I believe you, Yoonah,” Jinhwa tells her softly, using the kind and warm voice she’s grown to know. Jinhwa’s eyes finally meet hers again, her hand still on the back of her neck. She swears she feels his hold tighten, but she must be hallucinating. Jinhwa would never hurt her. She’s sure of that. He takes a deep breath, shaking his head as his gaze drops.

“I just don’t know if the police will.” Yoonah doesn’t say anything to that, giving him a confused look. Jinhwa’s hand drops from her neck to her shoulder, where she can feel the full weight of it, making her jostle forward slightly with how heavy it is. Jinhwa’s deep-set eyes look back at her round ones, tilting his head with a sympathetic smile.

“They think Jaewoo assaulted you, Yoonah.” Yoonah feels dirty at the mere mention of the other man’s name, turning her head away from Jinhwa with a quiver of her bottom lip. Jaewoo’s handprints grow like mold on the places he grabbed her days ago, causing Yoonah to scratch at her wrists, her face distorting as her thighs squeeze together. She turns her body away from him, causing him to drop his hand from her shoulder. Delicately, he takes one of her palms into both of his hands. His thumbs kneed into her palm softly as he kneeled down to be at her level, but Yoonah still didn’t look at him. 

There’s too much shame. Tears pool down her cheeks again when she remembers the burn of Jaewoo’s breath on her neck, causing her shoulder to rise so she can bring her cheek to it, a sob escaping her lips.

“I didn’t like how he touched me,” Yoonah finally whispers with tightly shut eyes, wrapping her fingers around Jinhwa’s palm and tightly squeezing. Though she can’t see, Jinhwa nods and squeezes her hand in return. 

“I know, I know, that wasn’t right of him,” Jinhwa tells her softly, soothingly even, brushing her long black hair behind her ear and out of her face. He adjusts her top while his hand is near her shoulder, always wanting to tidy her up at the slightest imperfection. Yoonah can hear Jinhwa click his tongue. “But assault? He didn’t assault you, doll.”

Yoonah doesn’t say anything as she looks into his eyes again, blinking slowly. She doesn’t say anything but gives her head a small shake. Deep down, Yoonah knows that isn’t true. Maybe assault was dramatic, but Jaewoo put his hands on her. She knows he did. She still feels him touching her. People saw it. People stopped it. Someone told the police. If it wasn’t bad, why would this be happening?

Jinhwa gives her a small and pitiful smile when he sees her head shake, taking a deep breath. He brings her hand under his chin, resting atop her knuckles as they nearly turn white from holding onto his fingers so tightly.

“Are you still a virgin, Yoonah?” The question makes Yoonah’s eyes widen and her cheeks start to burn. Jinhwa is unwavering, still looking at her like she’s a soaked puppy on the side of the road in the pouring rain. Her gut twists in discomfort, but she nods assuredly. 

“Of course, I am,” Yoonah whispers, looking down at where her hand is against his chin. She wishes to turn it upwards and hold his face in her palm. A single tear runs down her cheek, streaking down her neck. “I only want to do that with my husband.”

Jinhwa hums in approval, nodding. Yoonah swallows the lump in her throat, letting her head tip to the side with a quivering bottom lip.

“But he still touched me.” 

Jinhwa nods with an understanding sigh, squeezing her hand.

“Where’d he touch you?” He asks. Yoonah shakes her head, shutting her eyes tightly.

“I’m embarrassed,” She whimpers out, covering one side of her face with the hand not held in his. “I didn’t want him to touch me.”

“Did he take your clothes off?” 

Yoonah feels sick. She shakes her head.

“Did he touch you under your clothes?”

She doesn’t know why he’s asking so many questions like this. A part of her wants to scream for him to stop, but as it was before, nothing comes out. She shakes her head again, feeling a steady stream of tears flow down her cheeks.

Yoonah shakes her head again.

“Then why do you think he assaulted you, Yoonah?” He sounds so kind, but his words make her skin crawl. An urge to rip and claw at her skin until she’s nothing but meat and bones grows in her. If she were just meat and bones, men wouldn’t look at her, they wouldn’t touch her, and she’d be alone. She wants to be alone right now and deal with whatever this is by herself, but everyone is hyperfocused on her and helping her. She feels as if she’s drawing in a sea of concern she didn’t ask for.

Yoonah aggressively wipes her face, shaking her head with a tight groan.

“I didn’t say I did. I want to go home,” Yoonah says, looking at Jinhwa’s desk. Her palm feels sweaty and clammy; she wants to let go, but she doesn’t. Jinhwa tsks, causing a spike of irritation to flash through her.

“The police aren’t leaving until you speak to them, Yoonah…” She can feel him staring at her side profile before returning to his desk to pluck another pair of tissues from the box, wiping her face again. It feels useless as every tear or tear that Jinhwa wipes away, another trail is created. Yoonah can’t even feel that she’s crying anymore. Jinhwa shrugs like there’s nothing else he can do.

“Unless you tell them nothing happened.”

The silence that settles in Jinhwa’s office feels thick. She can’t feel anything but the silence and his gaze. Yoonah’s eyes dart at him, then at the door. His head tilts again, dropping her hand from under his chin to rest it on her thigh, removing himself from her physically as he stands up to tower over her again. Yoonah looks up at him, cast under his shadow, as he reaches out and adjusts her hair, patting it down and tucking it behind her ear.

“Because nothing happened, right?” Another silence. Yoonah finds herself staring at Jinhwa’s shirt with not a single thought in her head, nothing but static and buzzing filling her ears. 

Nothing happened, she repeats to herself as her skin starts to burn again. Jaewoo had a heavy hand, pulling and dragging her to the bathroom until another man had to stop him. Reid. Yoonah had never seen violence like she had that day. She hates violence; she hates fighting, yelling, and blood, all of it makes her want to shrivel up and die. She likes pristine, clean, gentle voices. Nothing about that night in the hallway resembled any of those things.

Nothing happened.

“He didn’t take your clothes off, he didn’t touch you-”

“My knees,” Yoonah interjects, looking back up at him with a nervous swallow. Jinhwa raises his brows to urge her to continue. Yoonah blinks. “My knees have a carpet burn from where he dragged me.”

The silence that fills the office is dreadful, heavy and suffocating as Jinhwa looks away from the girl in front of him, sighing as he takes a step back. He points to her grey sweatpants, not a usual fashion choice from the girl who would rather die than not wear a skirt, but she hasn’t been up to getting dressed the days. She doesn’t think she deserves it.

“Let me see.” Yoonah waits a moment before leaning down to begin rolling up the loose fabric. Anything too tight hurts to wear. She flinches when the fabric lifts over her injured knee, brushing against the raw yet hardening skin. The red wound sticks out against her pale skin, starting from the center of her knee to the bottom of it. Parts of it are scabbing, while others look fresh. Arguably, she hasn’t been taking care of it as she should, figuring if she ignored the lesion, it would go away.

Jinhwa shuts his eyes with a deep sigh from his chest. Unavoidable. Yoonah finishes rolling up her other pant leg to show the other knee, which isn’t as scraped up, but a bright red patch of skin shines brightly even in the poorly lit office. She doesn’t look at him, her round eyes darting around the room until they land on a picture on Jinhwa’s desk.

It’s of him, his partner, Naomi, and their son, Noah. Naomi and Jinhwa aren’t married. Yoonah has met Naomi a handful of times when she would go to their house to help Noah with his dancing. She’s always so kind to her, and her smile is warm, like a mother’s. She doesn’t think marriage is necessary, is what she told Yoonah when she asked why she and Jinhwa aren’t married. Yoonah has always been curious, nosey as her father would say, but Naomi never second-guessed a question from her. She answers earnestly and honestly. Yoonah likes that. She likes Naomi.

Noah looks like her in this picture. Round eyes and a beaming smile that mimics his mother’s exactly. He’s younger in this photo, six or seven, but Yoonah thinks he looks the same. He’s always had his father’s nose, strong and straight. Jinhwa has a smile in this photo that Yoonah swears she’s never seen him have before; looking at Naomi with fondness and gentleness, Yoonah swears he’s never shown her before, or if he has, she’s only gotten the cheap version of it.

She wonders what it feels like to have gentleness from Jinhwa, for sincerity, to be believed by him.

Jinhwa rubs his chin, staring at Yoonah’s injured knees before slowly shaking his head. Their gazes meet again, and Yoonah only blinks at him, silently asking for some kind of direction.

“How’d that happen?” Yoonah looks up with a deep breath through her button nose. She doesn’t want to relive this again. She can’t stand the sticky feeling of Jaewoo’s hands on her. The burning of her blood is driving her insane. This chair she’s been sat in for what feels like hours feels like a prison. She wants to leave. She wants to go home. She wants her mother. She wants to be a favorite again. Yoonah presses her palms against her eyes with a tight sob, needing to let something out before she explodes.

“Don’t be a child,” Jinhwa snaps at her, making her sob again, bending over to press her head to her thighs, wanting to curl into a ball. He’s never talked to her like that before. Yoonah was rarely scolded or talked down upon most of her life. She’s always been good. She’s always been right. There was never a need for adults to use a stern tone with her. She can’t stand it.

She can hear Jinhwa move in front of her again. He’s closer than he was when he stood above her, so she assumes he’s kneeling in front of her again. She feels a hand on the back of her head, petting her hair as she quietly sobs into her thighs. He doesn’t say anything, simply petting her hair, waiting for her to speak which he knows she will. She just needs time.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Jinhwa whispers to her, letting his hand run down to her back. She’s wearing a tank top, exposing her shoulder blades that protrude through her skin like angel wings. Jinhwa’s hand splays out between them, feeling each staggering breath she takes. “I just want to know what happened, Yoonah. I don’t feel like I’m getting the full story.” Yoonah lets out another body-wracking sob. The weight of his hand isn’t much, but she feels held down by it, making her eyes shut tighter behind her palms.

“It’s hard for me to get the words out,” Yoonah tells him in a choked-up whisper, lifting her now flushed face, freshly wet with tears. She uses her palm to keep herself upright, resting the heel between her brows. Jinhwa slides his hand off her back to his side, waiting for her with a manufactured sympathetic gaze.

They wait.

They wait.

And they wait, Yoonah’s eyes shut softly like she’s trying to fall asleep, her body jerking with every sniffle and sob she lets out.

“I was getting water,” Yoonah recounts in a hoarse voice, eyes still shut. “I was practicing with Aki and I went to get water from the fountain by the bathroom. Jaewoo came around the corner and started talking to me. I-” She didn’t want to talk to him, but she did anyways. He’s her senior, and she’s supposed to respect him. They’re ‘stage partners,’ as the managers call them. She should get along with him, but he irks her in a way she’s never felt before.

Priority and Emphasis often get promoted together as they’re marketed as brother and sister groups. If Priority is somewhere, Emphasis isn’t far behind. If an Emphasis member has an event scheduled, a Priority member is by her side. It’s all in preparation for their “supergroup” debut later this year. It’s all marketing, Jihan would tell the girls. They all needed a Priority member like the Priority members needed Emphasis, but Yoonah thinks Jaewoo took it too literally. 

“I kept telling him I had to get back to practice. I wanted to practice. I was trying to practice, and he just kept-” Yoonah abruptly grabs Jinhwa’s wrist, tugging him as hard as she can, keeping her eyes trained on how her hand doesn’t wrap around him like Jaewoo’s did to hers. It makes her brows knit, and her stomach starts to twist. “He kept pulling me like this. He kept trying to get me in the bathroom, and I kept trying to pull away. I tried so hard, but he-he’s stronger than me. Then he-He like-” Yoonah hugs the air, wrapping her arms around her waist, and finally meeting Jinhwa’s gaze again.

“He grabbed me like this. And I tried to get away from him because he was touching me-”

“Where’d he touch you exactly?” Jinhwa asks, nearly cutting her off. She gives him an uncomfortable look, shaking her head. She can’t get the words out. It’s too gross to her, too shameful, but Jinhwa nods, seemingly understanding now. He motions to himself.

“Can you point to where he touched you?” Yoonah makes a face at that but nods, knowing there’s nothing else she can do. She doesn’t move for a moment. Her brows furrowed as she looked at his chest, blinking hard a few times before lifting her hand to point where she stared. Then she points down to his right thigh with an uncomfortable whimper, looking away from him as her lips quirked to the side.

“On the inside of it. Like he was trying to pick me up, so I went dead weight because I didn’t want…to go anywhere with him. That’s when he started dragging me, and I started crying because I was scared and I didn’t like how he was touching me. Then Aki was there, and she started yelling at him and hitting him to get him off me. Then Reid showed up—”

“And beat his ass.” Jinhwa finishes for her. Yoonah nods. That’s what happened. Reid’s fists didn’t stop pummeling Jaewoo’s face until Jihan ripped him off of the other. Yoonah hates violence. There was blood on Reid’s knuckles when he was done. Yoonah hates blood.

Jinhwa nods slowly, glancing at the door and then back at Yoonah, taking a deep breath before putting his hands out to her. She looks at them for a moment, causing her palms to itch. She slowly places her hands into his palms, watching his slender fingers wrap around her hands, and thumbs rub over her rosy knuckles, but his gaze never leaves her face.

“That’s really horrible what Jaewoo did, and I will deal with him accordingly, I promise, but…” Yoonah gives him a pleading look when she hears that “but,” making Jinhwa move a bit closer to her and squeeze her palms. “It wasn’t assault, honey. It wasn’t right, but it wasn’t assault. Do you really need to get the police involved?” 

Yoonah’s throat tightens as her brown eyes glance at the door and then back at their hands. His hands easily dwarf hers, giving her a small sense of security. She blinks her watery eyes at him, shaking her head finally.

“No,” She whispers. “I didn’t tell them in the first place. I swear to God, Jinhwa. I didn’t tell anyone. Only Reid and Aki know…And Jihan. I don’t want people to know.” He takes in the information she tells him, eyes seemingly going vacant for a moment before he makes himself smile proudly at her.

“I’m proud of you for telling me, Yoonah. You did well.” He squeezes her hands once again before letting go of them. He stands, looking at the door of his office, then back at Yoonah, who stays in the chair she feels tied down to at this point.

“I’m going to let the police talk to you now,” Jinhwa tells her with a nod, “Are you ready for that?”

She isn’t. She feels bile rise in her throat.

TRACKLISTING ㅤㅤ. . .ㅤㅤRESURRECTION would receive mixed reviews; the biggest point of contention being the tone of the record; switching, sometimes abruptly, between moods. The silliness or vulgarity of certain tracks were also criticized. Ultimately, however, the mixtape was well received, considered a strong display of LIZ's talents, highlighting her rapping but also displaying her vocal ability, as well as production skills and lyricism. The featuring artists present on the record also drew interest to LIZ, all with substantially bigger fanbases than her own. LUKE, the most credited producer in VALENTINE history, with a hip-hop career of his own spanning from the early 00s, is notoriously hard to get on the other side of the recording booth these days, and J-pop superstar MiO hasn't shown her face in two years. Fans of theirs were desperate to hear their idols again, and they rallied enthusiastically to support LIZ in turn. Fans of TAROT, however, weren't so happy to hear JORDEN's explicit lyrics, and took their frustrations out on LIZ even though he'd reportedly written the verse himself.

001. LOWLIFE PRINCESS. Written by Liz. Produced by Liz.

002. LIT. (feat. LUKE) Written by Liz, LUKE. Produced by LUKE.

003. PLUG IT, CHARGE IT, WORK IT. Written by Liz, Jang Kitae. Produced by Deer.

004. BURN IT UP. Written by Liz, Ahn Hayana. Produced by Liz, Ahn Hayana.

005. CHEETOS. (feat. JORDEN of TAROT) Written by Liz, Kim Jorden. Produced by Deer.

006. MANTRA. (feat. MiO) Written by Liz, MiO. Produced by Liz.

007. INTERLUDE: WHITE HOT ROOM. Written by Liz. Produced by Liz.

008. WITCH HUNT. Written by Liz. Produced by Liz.

009. ULTIMATE EVOLUTION. Written by Liz. Produced by Liz, LUKE, Kwon Ahin.

010. ANIMAL FARM. Written by Liz. Produced by Kwon Ahin.

011. FORGIVE ME. Written by Liz. Produced by Liz.