Love All

Depends what it is and who it is. Usually it’s Dad but Mom also has some very clutch victories in her record..

It’s always Mom at my house. Always. I can only think of maybe twice where Dad won and it was because he was the one that discovered what had happened and told her about after he’d dealt with it.

Oh we all know you are, especially Barry. They’re just like, all pretty. Oh Jesus, Uncle Theo has a type and it’s someone with a pulse….and Mr. Walker.

I love gold stars.

Ah, my dear Barry. One day he’ll understand. SEAMUS!!!! God, Mr. Walker has inspired so many daydreams in class.

I’ll bat my pretty little eyes at Mom and it’ll be fine.

One day I want to see KJ and Uncle Hunter square off on if a punishment goes through or not. Who usually wins?

I’m sure she loved my explanation more. Especially since the body paint hasn’t washed out yet.

When am I not in trouble? I’m not afraid of her anymore.

You both have forced my hand–I cant afford to change my room lock AGAIN.

Mom would love that. She really enjoyed the surprise when she went to grab your laundry the last time.

It becomes my business when you both start lurking around corners. I’d like to nip any future plans with Gabe before I wake up covered in tar with a fire in the corner of my room with you both dancing around it.

Way to kill our Friday plans, Miles.

I know, she’s just so pretty. She’s definitely is like, the prettiest one out of all of us. I look like a troll next to her. I feel like…Uncle Theo knows your dad. He finds his type everywhere.

I wouldn’t call this a school project so much as ways-to-get-my-father-to-calm-the-hell-down-project.

Not taking away from you and the other Hoods, but I’m very partial to my Ramsays. My dad has no type, so I’m sure they’ve crossed paths.

I can’t wait. She’s gonna lose her mind.

You know she’s just going to get you in trouble, right?

I envy people that can pull off every color, honestly. I think someone else had the attention so he got dramatic. It’s very in line for him.

You know, I said that and then he just told me to go wipe off the doorknobs. I’m preparing a powerpoint for him of how viruses ACTUALLY spread.

The only person I know who can rock every color is Cass. The rest of the world has at least two bad shades that they shouldn’t try for. Oh, he sounds like my dad. He’s not good at not being the center of attention.

You’re right. Josie can have the hair clippers. I’ll tell her I’ll shave her eyebrows.

She’ll be looking over her shoulders for weeks.

You think very highly of yourself as a mushy brown fruit.

Talk to Gabe lately?

In fact, yes. But it’s none of your business.

YOU’RE expired. They left you out and let you go bad. What a shame.

Oh no. See, I’m like a banana. The longer you leave me to myself, the better the banana bread.

It’s okay, someday you may be able to afford something like me.

Why would anyone spend money on expired goods?

It’s not up to the living. Oh I can do that now. When you go into his room tonight, turn on hair clippers.

No, I’m just going to be naked and covered in red paint.

I am a  Double Steak Melt and you know it.

In your dreams.

OH good. They finally stopped stinking like it and I’ve decided detergent isn’t really the scent they prefer.

He’s slowly losing it. Barry was apparently just beside himself.

I’ll start getting creative with the designs. Put my espresso art skills to the test.

Ghosts are very good at multitasking.

No, no, Gabe. I’m frightfully superstitious. Make Miles shit himself instead.