It Is Time

He would NEVER. I’m the good child. Unlike the lot of you.

I’m maintaining this was Charlie’s fault.

Alllllllllways?

Always. Have you MET her?

Mom would love that. She really enjoyed the surprise when she went to grab your laundry the last time.

Way to kill our Friday plans, Miles.

You both have forced my hand--I cant afford to change my room lock AGAIN.

Josie can’t come to the phone right now, she’s locked in her room.

Actually I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing.

In fact, yes. But it’s none of your business.

It becomes my business when you both start lurking around corners. I’d like to nip any future plans with Gabe before I wake up covered in tar with a fire in the corner of my room with you both dancing around it.

Oh no, they’ll send you a replacement copy for your troubles. Same model, for free.

this is bullshit. I want Josie.

b

Ooh, it’s past 60 days so we can’t accept returns.

Then sell it at a garage sale. 75 cents.

I got it from my momma.

Well return that for store credit, please.

Oh no. See, I’m like a banana. The longer you leave me to myself, the better the banana bread.

You think very highly of yourself as a mushy brown fruit.

YOU’RE expired. They left you out and let you go bad. What a shame.

Why Miles, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. You DO care.

In your dreams.

It’s okay, someday you may be able to afford something like me.

Oh I sure miss our face-to-face interactions.

You’re a cheesy roll up at best.

I am a  Double Steak Melt and you know it.