By golly, I'm poly!

I saw K last night for the first time in seven months. He's doing really well, we had a great time catching up...and it is ridiculously obvious that we miss one another. I called D after I saw K and talked with him about dinner, about how things went, and I left the conversation feeling more confused than I did when it started. There are still feelings for K there, but I'm not quite sure EXACTLY what they are and I sure as hell don't know what to do with them. It feels incredibly hard to write about polyamory when you haven't "felt" polyamorous in awhile. As much as I adore D, it's been a bit strange to only be dating him. I feel like that sounds awful. Ugh. There was a point in my poly where I was dating three or four people and it suited me incredibly well. This feels strange. I don't know how to get back into poly - I really have no better way of phrasing that - but I want to so badly.

Not poly related but sort of poly related because SEX!: Up until now, my preferred method of birth control has been condoms. I would like to explore other BC options, but feel overwhelmed at all of the choices! I have always been hesitant to use anything hormonal - I deal with hypertension and have read that hormonal BC can have a slight affect on that - but I have been researching a LOT and realizing that the pill could still be a viable option for me. IUDs are a popular option among my friends, but I'd rather explore my options with the pill before looking into an IUD. There are SO many options out there, but the pill and IUD are my top two. What methods of birth control do you all use? What has worked for you, not worked for you, what would you recommend, etc.? Any and all replies would be so appreciated!

Feeling very excited about the month of July. The end of May and all of June were...rough? Not terrible, I suppose, but life was stressful and I spent a lot of time feeling under the weather and, unfortunately, depressed. BUT! Things are looking up. My mental health is in a better spot, I'm past whatever crap has been keeping me sick and feeling like shit, and I have so much fun stuff planned for next month. Yin yoga this weekend, traveling to Toronto next week, two (!) tattoos in a couple weeks, a new haircut, and just a lot of happy, fun stuff to look forward to. I don't say this often, but I deserve it.

Are there any women out there who want to meet and fool around? I just spent way too long looking at beautiful women on Tumblr and now I am WAY too worked up. HELP. Seriously. Let's flirt. ;)

Feeling very disconnected from myself, my friends, my job, my...everything lately. Depression fucking sucks. I miss you and love you all. I hope to be back soon.

A beautiful and fun conversation with D turned into something so sad and disappointing in a matter of seconds...and now I feel confused and kind of shitty and discouraged. His attempt to be honest about something came off as callous and cold. It feels awful. Words of love and encouragement appreciated. Also flirting. Always flirting.