At first, Buckyย is metย with silence. That silence killsย him, becauseย heย doesnโtย know what Steve is thinkingย inย thisย moment. Normally, Bucky can read him like a book, but right now heย doesnโtย know what to expect, especially not with his mind spinning the way it is with thoughts of beingย discardedย and tossed to the side like someย broken toyย thatย outlived its use.ย
Steveย wouldnโtย do thatย toย him. Would he? He wishes he could say he knew for sure that Steveย wouldnโtย just leave him here, but heย isnโtย speaking, and Bucky is left with no choice but toย attemptย to prepare himself for the sting of brutal rejection.ย
Except it never comes. Instead, Steveโs hips snap forward forcefully, making his entire body rock back with the force of it, his fingersย gripping to Steve tighter, nails digging in hard enough that Bucky is certainย heโsย split the skin of Steveโs shoulder.ย
His body reacts instantly to thatย thrust,ย lips parting in a gasping moan as his body trembles against Steve. Thigh muscles tensing as he yanks, trying to pull Steve closer to him withย strongย thighs, as if the man can even get any closer.ย ย
Heโsย afraid to let go. If he lets go, what if this all ends?ย ย
Stop. Just stopย thinkin', Buck. Look at me.ย
Of course, he should have known his best friend would know his mind is spinning now, a constant spiral of thoughts,ย self doubts, and frustrations. He releases a shaky shuddering breath before his eyes open to lock ontoย Steveโsย asย instructed, and in mere momentsย lips are on his again.ย
Andย itโsย like none of those stupid thoughts matter anymore when Steveโs lips are onย hisย like this, making Bucky melt against Steve. Tongue brushing against tongue, muffled moans and whimpers escaping into Steveโs mouth as he rocksย against Steve, trying to match every thrust with a roll of his hips, but it just becomes pathetic and messy with the way Steve starts thrusting harder and faster.ย
The pleasure coils in the pit of his stomach, every harsh thrust to his prostate is driving him insane enough that he finds himself squirming on Steveโs cock, a series of gasps and moans that justย wonโtย quit keep his mouthย slack open.ย ย
He looks like a fucking mess,ย heโsย sure, and he can feel the drool dripping down his chin. Heย doesnโtย bother trying to wipe it away, because heย canโtย bareย to let go of Steve. Instead,ย heโsย clinging to him likeย heโsย his lifeline, fingernails dragging down shoulder andย back,ย heย doesnโtย feel bad about the way it creates gashes on Steveโsย back.ย Itโllย healย and he wants Steve to be marked up, too, if only for a little while.ย ย
The pleasure coils tighter and tighter, like a pressure in the pit of his stomach that threatens to consume him entirely. He wants โ needs โ to cum. He needs it so bad that it hurts, leaving Bucky to release a seriesย of whimpers. If he could talk, he may have uttered a โpleaseโ,ย but heย doesnโtย trust his voice.ย
Besides, itย doesnโtย matter,ย Steveย seems to know exactlyย what he needs. It amazes him that even now, Steve knows everything about him. He knows just the right ways to play his body like an instrument made forย Steve,ย he knows whenย heโsย getting close.ย
His chest rises and falls with every panting gasping breath he takes, his moans constant, growing in volume the more Steve fucks into him. Even as he slows down,ย the moans do notย wane.ย
Itโsย as if on command alone that Bucky finallyย letsย go, the orgasm hits him fast and hard,ย at the same time thatย Steveโs does. His back arches off the bed as much as it can with Steve pinning him down, hips sloppily rocking to push himself against Steveโs cock, still chasing the orgasm like an eager little slutย as his head tilts back and his eyes squeeze shut.ย It takes every bit of restraint, as little as he has left, not to scream out his pleasure.ย Maybe heย would have, if heย wasnโtย soย self consciousย about being heard now thanks to Yelena.ย ย
His trembling thighs lock tighter around Steveโs waist, theย white hotย pleasure skyrocketing throughout his body with enough force that it has his toes curling and earns cries of sheer pleasure from Bucky's mouth.ย
โFuck. Steve. Steve. Steve.โย Steveโs name is breathed like some kind of prayer on his lips, like his name is something to be worshipped, said over and over in the throes of passion.ย
He had thought he felt stuffed full before but now, with Steveโs hot cum gushing inside of him, he feels even more full. He relishes in the feeling of Steve filling him up,ย of the way cum flows from his ass, down his thighs, onto the bed.ย
Heโsย covered in Steveโs cum, and his own. His own cum streaked across both of their torsos.ย
He finds heย doesnโtย mind how messy it is. On the contrary, he wants to be covered in Steveโs cum. It feels like a mark of ownership, in a way, and he wants Steve to own him. Has he made himself clear now? Has he made it known yet that he belongs to Steve completely? He always has, evenย back when it wasย illegalย and they would have been crucified for it.ย
He almost laughs when he feels the twitch of Steveโs cock inside of him.ย Heโsย breathless, scrambling to gain control of his breathing, or he might have laughed.ย
God,ย heโsย insatiable. Not that Bucky minds.ย
His entire body is still trembling as he tries to come down from the high of the orgasm, shuddering against Steve and the cool sheets underneath him sticking to sweaty skin, his grip on Steve has loosened, no longer clinging to him so harshly,ย his gripย more gentleย instead of a firm bruising type of grip.ย
Steve looks down at him, their eyes lock, and Bucky feels like the breath is knocked out of him yet again at the concern that is displaced there among the heated desire.ย Heโs worried...? He watches as Steve drops his face to press it against his chest, removing a hand from Steveโs shoulder so that he may instead thread his fingers through Steveโsย sweat soakedย hair.ย Heโsย not sure whatย heโsย doing,ย maybe itโsย an attempt toย comfort,ย Steve seemed worried.ย ย
โNo. Not any more than I wanted to be.โ He tightens his fingers into Steveโs hair to tug gently, to make him lift his head, and when he does Bucky captures Steveโs lips with his own. Less lust and more passionย and desperation,ย as if screaming with his lips alone โ See? I want this. I want you,ย Iโmย willingly yours.ย Itโsย not wrong.ย
Maybe itย would be wrong to those around them, if they knew the way Steve has treated him, the way Steve has talked to him during this, calling him names but fuck those people.ย What do they know?ย Bucky wants this, this total domination andย control,ย he needs it.ย Heโsย desperate for it.ย Itโsย the only thing that feels right in a world and time where everything else feels so uncertainย toย Bucky.ย
Do you understand now how much Iย need it now, Steve?ย