la vie boheme.

anybody else in here feel like they're constantly and involuntarily calculating their every thought and action. and doing it wrong

me every time I cry in front of another person: wow I can't believe I would make myself cry on purpose to garner pity and sympathy. no I don't cry except in absolute extremis. why do you ask

This is anxiety. I'm not saying this is a "sign of" anxiety, what is described here is the exact emotional display of anxiety. Extremely common, basically everyone with anxiety or an anxious presenting disorder feels this way. And you may feel relieved to know that they make therapy and medicines for this and they do work!

the natural human lifespan is actually less than 2 days, but many have taken to artificially extending their lives via substances such as food/water

it's me boy, the medieval scribe speaking to you inside your brain. listen to me boy. draw in the margins of your notes instead of paying attention