Shitpost central

Headache? Kiss it better and I’ll be fine

Stomach ache? Rub my tummy and I’m chillin

Back hurting? Literally trace my spine and I’m healed.

“Ugh i love your outfit!”

I know 😌

“You look so good.”

I know 🤭

“I wish I had your style!”

You’re rolling silverware one minute and the next you’re getting coffee for your 8th grade history teacher and his wife

In mine I just write the quote with absolutely no context no name no nothing and going through them is like my absolute favorite pastime so I’m gonna share some of my favorites in no particular order.

“SO YOU PISSED IN A PUMPKIN?”

“Winner winner chicken dinner, it was porn.”

“Hold on, soup moment.”

“You are my personal compost bin and eat my daily banana peels.”

“Call me when you have naked statues in your yard.”

“What’s a bronie? A brown pony??”

“YOU’RE THE APPENDAGE.”

“He’s spiritually Canadian.”

“Don’t question the artistic choices of Soulja Boi.”

“I’ll make it sit in the idea jacuzzi.”

“2% skin milk.”