blurts of thoughts which one might call posts

watch that one movie you've been wanting to watch (for me it's project hail mary)

listen to Welcome To Night Vale or Alice Isn't Dead. right vibes somehow

crochet

read

cut up your shirts

get up earlier, sleep in the afternoon and stay up later (if your schedule allows)

try something new with your hair

go for a bicycle ride at 10 pm

talk to someone on discord

make ice tea

inform yourself about climate change

get angry about it

Joel by ok.danke.tschüss

a song about a gay guy being a hopeless romantic and falling way too quickly for guys he meets in clubs

Nazis erschiessen by Yu

it's literally a love song about shooting nazis. what could be better

Denkmal by Wir sind Helden

a 2000s song about well, building a monument. its hard to describe go listen. this song is actually quite famous in germany

Schrei nach Liebe by Die Ärzte

probably the most famous german anti-nazis song, from the 90s, and well the chorus is "your violence is a quiet scream for love"

Alles Schwarz by Das Lumpenpack

my favorite german band! a vent rock song about everything being shit

Wind by Das Lumpenpack

second song here by them, a really beautiful song about wishing someone a safe place: "and I know where to go when the wind comes"

Rosarote Brille by Yu

Like for example if the story is set in the 80s/90s or maybe even historical fiction, I eat that up.

I realized that this isn't necessarily the case in contemporary fiction.

Why? I thought about this. Stories set in the current time with queer characters, even if they feature, which they often do, being closeted and eventual outing, things are often good in the end. And the discrimination and internalized queerphobia are really minor struggles that disappear or can be worked around.

But in historical fiction, a character being gay and their struggles are gut wrenching and it influences everything about them. And I realized I can relate more to these depictions and find something cathartic in them, as a gay trans male person.

And since there's not a lot of trans representation even though I do seek it out intentionally, these representations of closeted gay characters are what resonates with me the most.

Plus, if there is trans representation, the character themselves often doesn't face the struggles that come with it in the story, either because they fully transitioned and are passing or because the author created an accepting environment for them (don't get me wrong, these are valid and needed depictions!).