I am not quick to anger. Even on things I should be angry about, even on things other people are angry about for me. I feel like I should be angry but I’m not. It’s just empty.
But what Christianity has done to me? I’ve never felt this kind of rage.
It lives deep within my chest and it does. Not. Get. Better. I have been in therapy for years. I will still be for years.
It makes my chest burn and my hands shake. You stole everything from me, church. You stole my body, my mind, my heart, my history, my life. You took everything from me and you won’t. Fucking. Let me go.
You ruined me. Destroyed me. Wrecked me into nothing so you could rebuild me how you wanted me. What was best for you. For your plan.
I was never loved. This isn’t fucking love.
And everyday I see more people I love suffer under this stupid fucking religion. The way they talk about themselves. The pain they go through to try and fit your stupid fucking mold. I don’t have the words to describe how angry I am.
I want to scream. I hate you. I hate this. I hate this anger.
It’s not getting better. Because the church is still fucking out there. It’s still praying on its people. Still exploiting them and brainwashing them and destroying them. I cant close this wound because the knife is on every fucking corner.
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