drowning in the dark

i think being overly aware of everything can be quite depressing.

I feel so disconnected from people lately, everything just feels fake and temporary.

Have you ever typed a message but halfway through you think “you know what, they don't even care” and deleted it.

I think one of things about getting a little better is not being unstable enough to end it but being alive feels worse than being suicidal. You’re just stuck. It’s like being a breathing corpse

My flag is not green or red, it's white. I give up, leave me alone.

Can’t sleep. Can’t wake up. Can’t remember the last time I felt like myself. My thoughts are loud but my mind is empty. Food doesn’t taste the same anymore. Conversations feel far away, like I’m watching my own life happen without me. I’m tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix. Days blur together until weeks disappear. It’s Monday, then somehow it’s Sunday again. Everyone else keeps moving forward, and I’m standing still, pretending I’m okay while quietly losing pieces of myself I don’t know how to get back.

Mental illness has ruined my fucking life don’t ever tell me that it’s a choice.

sorry i never responded to your text, i've been busy being paralyzed by my own inability to do basic tasks that are piling up.

god, i wish i were gone already. forgotten. as if i never existed at all.