A Fag of All Trades

in the future humans will have something called "sinus button " and pressing it will immediately drain your sinuses of all fluid so that it can be filled with other things like rocks, webs, paint, tar, freef (new fluid that will be so important in that time) and also dr papper

life is nothing without eroticism and whimsy

i need to forgive myself for everything by this weekend so i can start fixing my life from next week

Trying to escape military service like: "Poison Seller, I require your weakest poisons."

it's actually so amazing she helped save the lives of the honorable men who did not wish to fight, while killing the most vile men, that is so fucking based

the DJ saying “COME ON! COME ON!” really just gets to me ahgsgsfsbsjsjdkgjdhml

a mutual-induced boner 🍌😝

the best fruits are hardest to open

this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it