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I can't Our language is powerful. Our language creates and expresses our beliefs. Our language influences our actions. Our actions create our world and allow us to achieve our dreams. “I can’t” keeps us separated from those dreams. When we use the word “can't” that is the reality we create. Of course we can't quit smoking. We just said we couldn’t. Of course we can’t meditate. We just said we couldn’t. Of course we can’t accept, move on, and heal from pain or loss. We said we couldn’t. Stop saying I “can’t" and start saying "I can" and "I will." We use these words “I can’t" and "I’ll try" because it absolves us of responsibility in our life. Because if we spoke powerfully we would have to live powerfully. We would have to be accountable. And sometimes that’s scary. To actually succeed at what we dream and desire. We have no excuses to hide behind. We can't get far spouting words of can, do and will without people calling us out if we don't. This is actually another factor to drive us to succeed. Try telling everyone you know you are going to do something difficult. See if you sit on your ass and not care about the outcome. No. You’re gonna work your ass off to succeed and hold yourself accountable. If not to yourself then to others. Delete "can’t" from your vocabulary. It's of no use to you. It destroys our confidence and power because it destroys our belief in ourselves before we've even started. It's worse than "I'll try." Delete that word too. I have neither in my vocabulary anymore. If I commit to something "I do.” I make decisions powerfully. I have no time or desire to half heartedly try anything. If you are actually going to spend your hard earned and precious time doing anything then do it. 110%. Why waste our time to fail because of not fully committing to seeing it through to success. Commit ourselves to commit to the choices we make. Starting now. Take control of your life. Take responsibility of your life. Eliminate the disempowering words from your vocabulary and replace them with words of power, strength and confidence. And create the path to your dreams through the land of "I can.” Make powerful choices to create a powerful life worth living. Today I start my first Vipassana. It's over 100 hours of meditation over the course of 10 days. Although I meditate everyday, this is a year and a half of my daily meditations condensed into a week and a half. I've been wanting to "try" this silent retreat where you can't talk, make eye contact, read, write, listen to music or even exercise for its duration for the last 5 years since I was introduced to it by a friend. Although I wanted to "try" it I believed I "can't" meditate for that long especially with no stimulus on my breaks. So I heard the stories from friends over the years and would always retort. "Some day I'll try it too" Not very powerful words. At the start of this year I decided to live powerfully and fully commit to any choices I desired. To stop using I "can't" and I'll "try." I made the commitment that I would "do" Vipassana this year and that time has come. Although I know it will be a challenge and a significant success over my mind to complete I know that, "I can handle this" and "I can do this" I'm about to go dark for the next 10 days with the belief "I can, do anything", with commitment and practice. Is your internal and external dialog empowering or disempowering you? Where do you notice you use “I can’t” or "I’ll try” too regularly in your life? What would happen if you deleted those words from your vocabulary? How would that change your life? 

walls and the illusion of control We can never ultimately control the outcome of a relationship. We can not control the creation or death of love. We can only show up as authentically and vulnerably as possible to stand before the other. Naked and unprotected. So that they may love us in the full truth of our being. We can not hide our true self for long behind a facade of falsehoods and images we believe to be more desirable and ideal. The truth always shows through our cracks in the end. And through this false persona, for whatever reason, we are actually creating a separation between us and the one we desire to connect closer and deeper with. This is a manipulation. We are trying to manipulate the situation to get what or who we want. This counter productivity is self sabotaging and grounded in fear and lack of self love. If we loved ourself enough we wouldn’t be afraid to show our true self. We would be confident in the understanding that we are good enough as we are for this person. That if they do not connect with us, in the end, they really aren’t meant for us anyways. This is what begins to happens when we start surrendering to what is and stop trying to control the outcomes of situations we have no control of in the first place. If we love ourselves in totality we reduce the fear we have of others not loving us and this in turns strengths our ability to open up into our vulnerability completely. Through complete vulnerability we show our shining authenticity and scream out, ”this is me, love me for who I am, or do not, but I will not, I cannot, show you anything other than my true self. Love me for everything I am and everything I am not for I will love you the same." This is unconditional love When we throw down our weapons of defense and shields of protection we surrender to what is and what will be. This is our responsibility, from which we can then enjoy what is truly meant for us. Our divine plan as it unfolds. In this vulnerably we find our strength. We are only responsible to show up honestly and authentically. When we do this our work is done. We have no battles to fight, no castles to defend. Not behind ramparts, walls of stone, or shields of chainmail. We can join our partner on the fields of peace and true connection. There is no battle of love, only choice of the vulnerability to show up in our truth everyday.

I found me. All I needed to find in the end. Only me. Pure me.