“That’s an odd way to propose to someone, Y/N. And please, you’re asking an obvious question.” Chan looks up at you from his book. His smile is gentle, soft at the corners with his dimples sinking in—it’s how you know that he means it—the way it usually is these days. The way it has been for the past year. It is almost obscure, you think, how you both would have wanted each other’s head on a stick a year ago before one of you managed to make the other person cry out of gratitude.

You lift the book away from his face, glimpsing at the cover. Because Chan is an absolute heathen, he has been reading No Longer Human and you’re being annoying about it because he hasn’t come out to train with you for two days already. “Are you telling me you’ll say ‘no’?”

“We’re already doing laundry and taxes together. We will just have matching rings and a signed piece of paper,” Chan gives you a pointed look; he always looks so serious whenever he wants to correct you as if your sarcasm is that dry. “So it naturally implies as a ‘yes’, idiot,” he nags, even though he doesn’t mean the last part.

“Oh how you wound me, love,” you bite back, even though you don’t mean it either. “Chan, come on. You’re locking yourself up in a prison.”

Chan lets out a long, heavy sigh as if he’s insulted that you have just called his room a prison—which you never verbally hinted at, he simply interpreted it that way. He reaches over to grab the book from your hand, seemingly giving up his reading time for you, and places it on his bedside. 

“What are you–” You watch as Chan walks over to one of his mahogany drawers. “-doing?”

“I need caffeine to talk to you.”

Despite your bristling, he stays true to his words and finds himself a mug, a tea bag, along with a boiler. By the time Chan finishes filling up the boiler with water and turns on the heating switch, your legs are dangling over the edge of his bed as you puff up like a cat, baffled and offended. 

“So,” Chan inquires, a steaming mug of tea in his hand. “What’s up?”

“I find your current state distressing to look at,” you elaborate with glee, a glint coming into your eyes that Chan knows you’re up to no good. “Take a week off with me. We can go anywhere you want, it’ll be a short getaway, just the two of us.”

Chan’s back is turned toward you because he’s too busy searching for a spoon but you can boldly assume that he’s smiling. It’s hinted in his tone when he asks, “You mean a vacation?”

“Brilliant interpretation, Chan,” you smile wryly. “Of course, I meant a vacation!”

“No, you can go have fun by yourself. You have my permission,” he shakes his head. “I have things to attend to. Meetings, banquets, important business transactions. You know how boring the mafia lifestyle is.”

You still, voice low and suppressed in something Chan can’t seem to grasp at. “You’re going back to your family.” It’s barely a movement, a small enough action. Any passerby would think that you have only faltered a little but Chan has observed you for a good while now to notice you’re holding your shoulders back from trembling. 

“I am going back to my family,” he repeats calmly. “Only for a week, though. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“Chan, I know they want to see me.”

Chan tries not to let anything show on his face. “And they may very well kill you because that is what they are. Godawful, egoistic, and incapable of compassion.”

“Let me go with you, I—” you begin, though you cut yourself off almost instantly. The room is suddenly steeped in silence, unwieldy at the absence of your words. Every noise seems amplified in the quiet: the boys’ chatters echoing dully from the living room, the ticking hands of the clock, and every breath you take to calm the anxiety in your rib cage.

I do not fear death, sickness, or anyone’s hatred. What I fear most is losing you, Chan. It’s all so beyond you because a year ago, you were a thief, taking things as you please and sending them away when they’re no longer of use for your benefit. Now there is someone who you will live for and his kiss you will kill for, his laugh you will die for.

“Chan, do you have any idea what I would turn into if you left me?” You have always worried loudly, from the volume of your attentiveness and the anxiety beneath your skin all lie in the tender manner of how you love Chan—the same goes for him, that you can be certain of.

“I will never leave you, Y/N. We will be okay,” he assures you, unbearably calm.

Chan is a liar. 

second attempt —

Chan is supposed to go back to the Bang family’s estate with Yuriko for the New Year. Yuriko is the housekeeper whom he has retired for about a year ever since you came into the picture. The boys, especially Jisung, have been forced into keeping their surroundings clean because, for some wicked reason, they think you are absolutely terrifying when you’re upset about their muddy shoes dirtying the floor after a mission. Yuriko always giggles at that, her Young Master surely knows how to pick a partner. 

“I’ve got word that your father wants you to back to the estate, Young Master,” Yuriko tells Chan when she finds you and Chan in the archive because you have insisted on reading about something you won’t say a word to him. Surely, Chan recognizes what you’re searching for but he doesn’t mention it. 

“He said he wanted to make sure you are ready to take over his position. And there is a dinner he wants your attendance for,” Yuriko continues, hands clasped behind her back. You didn’t even realize when she stepped in and approached Chan—for a mere housekeeper to be so swift and quiet with her movements, you have long guessed that she’s not just any old woman to be hired by the Bang family.

The way Chan stiffens in his seat is telling all on its own. You are suddenly struck with the recurring memory of how Minho used to babble about how much of an ass Chan’s family is when he has had one too many drinks. “You don’t know how bigshot mafia families treat their children, do you? They kept the world from knowing for a reason. I’m surprised Chan didn’t turn out to be a monster like them.”

“Forgive me, Yuriko, but you can tell the old man to suck it up,” Chan says softly but his voice is dark, tense, riddled with a sharpness you haven’t heard from him in a long time—you were threatened just the same way when you had stolen his mother’s ring. Now you realize Chan only ever speaks so heartlessly if something precious to him is hanging on the verge of being taken away. 

“Young Master,” Yuriko frowns for two reasons; firstly, Chan has never been able to decline his blood family of anything and secondly, there isn’t much that she can do to solve the problem at hand. She’s a mere servant for the Bang family; she doesn’t have much power to begin with and therefore, she can’t exactly tell them ‘no’. 

“No, you can’t make me,” Chan grits because he knows, he understands it all too well. Unsaid words of all the things money can buy hang in the air like bile. 

“Young Master Christopher, you must know what happens if you defy your father.” And there goes Yuriko’s final warning along with Chan dashing out of the archive, straight through the hallway and the front door of the mansion, completely vanishing in the white curtain of December snow.

Yuriko murmurs something under her breath, unintended for you to hear her. You continue staring forward, the file in your hands completely forgotten. “He can come home with me,” you say without actually thinking about it until she turns to stare at you, expressionless before breaking into a fit of giggles.

“I think Young Master would like that.”

With that, you set off to find Chan.

“No one will love you unconditionally like we do.” “You belong to us, so do as we say.” “Work to kill, kill or you’ll die. You were born to kill, it’s a gift that not everyone receives.” “The world will bow before you and sway the way you want it but you’ll have to-”

“I don’t want any of that,” Chan hisses but the voices keep coming back louder, harsher, with more bite than he has ever heard from them. “None of you ever gave me anything that matters! You just can’t admit that you made me a murderer!!” 

The snow around him sinks with each step he takes, their words still echoing in his mind and sending shivers down his spine, driven so deeply inside his skull that he wishes he could have nothing of this reality. “Be mindful of yourself. Control it.” “Your fangs and claws are too sharp for you to be swinging just at anyone,” he hears them again

His nose burns in the cold but Chan doesn’t notice something warm and wet trickle down his cheekbones. “You never cared about restraint. You said I must kill or I would die. You all just want to possess me, you want me not as an heir but as a commodity!!”

“It’s how we’ve been running this family. It’s how we keep things in order. You’re one of us, Christopher, you are this family.”

With a huff, Chan eventually gives in and listens because he has no other choice but to; he slides down against concrete with a white-out vision, a quivering figure with nothing on but his cardigan. “Then you’re just as godawful as any of them,” he tells himself, knees curling against his chest, almost justified in his own lie that he wants to burst out laughing.

Chan knows they have made him more of a weapon than a child, more of a monster than a man and he is stuck with it for good. He has been holding onto life just because he can, not so much that he wants to. Because he never truly wanted anything before or was wanted in any way.

“Oh my god, you’re a fucking man-child!”

He hears someone’s nagging from afar and ignores it, hugging himself impossibly tighter because asking for comfort is unacceptable, they taught him so. “Chan!!” He hopes it goes away with all of the other voices. 

It doesn’t. Instead, it comes closer in a humane form, boots crunching against the snow and warm breaths sounding rhythmically. “It’s been an hour. Do you have any idea how worried we all were- how worried I was?! What the actual hell,” you snap. “Now I’m going to hear all this shit from Seungmin again because I let you run off and he’s too terrified of you to properly lecture you. God-”

Your rambles cut off when you kneel down next to him, rummaging for a scarf, a pair of gloves, yet another pair of gloves, his puffer jacket, and a hat from your bag. Chan quietly watches as he tries to blink away the oncoming tears but he can’t—they keep coming. He doesn’t reply when your scolding goes on because even though your voice is sharp, Chan can catch the worry hidden along the edges. Being cared for and cherished like this has made him realize how much he doesn’t want to come back to his family and he wants to cry like he’s the fourteen-year-old boy who used to refuse to pick up a gun all over again.

A child who was unable to stuff down the overwhelming agony and grief forced upon him. A child who was weaponized. A child who was threatened into killing his own mother. “If you can’t kill what you hold near and dear, you’ll never be able to kill anyone to save yourself.”

“Chan?” you call out to him, unbearably soft. There’s a certainty, a sort of gentleness in the way his name is said that only makes his tears come hotter, more and more of it because your love feels big, overwhelming.

Chan hates crying so he never did, not when they had locked him up in his room, not when they had starved him because of his disobedience, not when they had made him pull the trigger with the gun’s mouth pressing against his mother’s chest. Chan hates crying but it seems to be all he’s doing now. 

You’re wrapping him up so gently and trying to warm him up because you know he’s just as human as any mundane individual out there. Humans shiver when the temperature drops, they shed tears when they’re upset, and they bleed and bruise at the right amount of impact. That’s why humans are so clingy toward each other so they can prevent harm from coming the other person’s way. Because no one enjoys getting hurt and there is no good reason to voluntarily get hurt; it sounds like common sense but Chan never grew up with such things. He never came to think he was deserving of such things.

“Chan, come home with me. Forget your family. I don’t need to know about them,” you smile at him, somehow empathetic and so understanding when Chan has barely given you an explanation, when he is desperate to fill the silence but he knows his voice will be weak with tears, stumbling, and pitching all over the place.

Chan sniffles, finding the courage to say something back because he wants to, not because he feels like he has to, “Can I really…come-come home with you?”

“I’m sure the girls wouldn't mind, they might be a little annoying. Yeji, though, can be wary of strangers,” you shrug, something so relaxed about your posture tells him that you have learned to accept something without telling him. 

A breathy chuckle. “Especially when they’re a mafia leader.”

An exhale. Chan shudders when you embrace him wholly—every moment of pride and arrogance, betrayal and hurt that he has been boxing away—as the beautiful mess that he is. You’re the safest person on the face of Earth not because you are on equal terms with him in power but because you never care about those things. You will let him break something, burn something down, cry, and laugh however he pleases but you won’t ever let go of his hand. You never ask him for anything in return while continuing to save him over and over again.

He’s so unbelievably lucky, Chan thinks but doesn’t say it aloud, instead, he tells you, “If you’ll have me.”

The night after you drive Chan back to your mansion, the place goes up in flames. Only you are able to open your eyes to see the next daylight.

“Welcome home,” you want to whisper but can only watch a last smile bloom on the face of a ghost amidst the orange blaze.

third attempt —

You decide to come home with Chan.

For a non-mafia family, it might go like this.

Meeting Chan’s parents will be the hardest thing you have ever done—and that is coming from someone who has broken through the world’s most modern security systems and got your hands on objects worth billions of dollars. 

You will bow when you meet them, use the politest speech you have taught yourself last minute, and desperately try not to remember how Chan was forced to shoot his own mother as a child. They will pinch your cheek and call you lovely, chuckling at how stiff you are and offering you a ‘Come on in! Don’t mind the mess, it’s always how our house is.’

You will smile and you will play along because you want them to like you so badly it hurts. 

Chan will gawk at you without even trying to hide it because you have given him a completely different experience upon your first encounter. Casual, timid, and quick with your tongues when it comes to those witty retorts.

They will then ask you, ‘‘What are your hobbies? Any sports? Instruments?’’ Purely in the Asian parents’ style. 

You will be so nervous that you forget you play the violin and practice meditation occasionally. You will sit at their dinner table in their cozy, lived-in home, and rack your brain for a proper answer that might be deemed reasonable for a mundane girl. “It can be anything you do for fun, honey. No need to be nervous,” they will say again and you will give them a small grimace in return. 

It’s probably deeply fucked up when the first thing that comes to your mind is ‘I retired from heists a year ago because museums are fucking boring so I have moved on to finding new and creative ways to eliminate anything that might be the cause of Chan’s suffering.’

“…You play the violin beautifully,” Chan will suggest quietly beside you, his hand laced with yours beneath the table. “And you interrupt my reading time whenever you need attention.”

“I…I like to be with you,” you will finally find the courage to say with a firm squeeze of his hand, and the strength to smile when his eyes widen faintly, flustered yet not surprised. 

Still, it doesn’t matter whether Chan was born from a mafia family. You don’t hesitate to hold his hand beneath the table when Chan tenses up from the disappointed gaze of his father, lean over ever so slightly, and whisper, “I like to be with you.” He almost gasps but refrains. “Wherever we are. As long as you allow me to stay by your side.”

For once, Chan lets himself think that he won’t fuck up something before he even gets to have it in his arms. 

You did come home with Chan even if the dinner is anything but cozy and mundane. Their smiles are cold porcelain, a familiarity with death so staggering you feel nauseous. They are all here, though. Every single one of them. “I’ll be back,” you say and excuse yourself to use the restroom, he assumes.

Chan finds an uneasy slick in his throat, almost thick like blood when he sees a bright thing in your eyes. He lets you go anyway. Will things happen differently if he holds you back? 

Minutes after your withdrawal from the dinner table, an explosion goes off downstairs. The mansion quivers with a long string of rumble, a horrible feeling looming over everyone in the room like an ugly shadow. Though, no one bats an eye. Maintaining such a high position in the Underworld for so long is more than enough for the bounty on each of their heads to go up to millions of dollars. 

As much as Chan detests his blood family, he doesn’t want to die here, a horrendous place for his corpse to be found. So he stands as the rest of the room begins arming themselves, doing his best not to pay any heed to his father, and bolts downstairs. 

In situations like this, he is taught to close his heart and kill. Hence why there was barely any screaming when the commotion occurred, only the metallic sounds of bullets being clicked into their chamber. Truth be told, there is a weapon vault on the main floor of the mansion. Chan knows the most efficient shortcut there and can run through any hallways even without any lights on. He did grow up in this terrible place, and now he will make use of that to get you out of here before anything else. 

Chan arrives at the main floor and there is nothing but a giant hole and crumbled metal pieces in the weapon vault—or what used to be the weapon vault, blown up by a bomb it seems. Well, shit, he doesn’t even know how to register this. The entrance to his father’s most treasured place in the mansion has a three-layered door with an extremely lethal surveillance system, who and how the fuck-

He stops. He doesn’t so much as twitch. It gives him a moment of pure chill when the main floor has gone completely muted, both audibly and visually, like his life has just tipped off balance and leaned towards the bad part of a zombie movie. Upstairs, there is a cry for help and the sound of bullets continuously firing. 

“My fucking god,” Chan curses and turns on his heels, steeling himself mentally while rushing up the stairs. 

Upon arriving at the scene, it’s difficult to say whether turning up just five minutes earlier would have made much of a difference. Fuck, but if he had held you back, would things have taken a different turn?

There is a lot of blood. Too much blood to be explained away, and too much evidence to be traced back to no one else other than you. Well, to be fair, you’re the only person still standing and kicking aside from Chan anyway. The shotgun in your hand with a silencer attached speaks volumes, a knife between your teeth, and your left hand is fisted tightly. 

“…Y-Y/N,” Chan utters, in disbelief. “You’re Y/N, aren’t you?” 

You release something in your left hand and several fifteen-bullet magazines drop to the ground, the sound scratching his spine in the wrong way. The knife also hits the ground, metal echoing loudly against hard marble. 

“You’re here, Chan,” you reply, like your hands and clothes aren’t painted red. Swiftly, you duck to fumble for something beneath the dining table. Chan’s gaze follows you suit, prompting uneasiness to crawl down his throat when he realizes everything is, quite literally, drenched in blood. When he manages to snap out of it, you are unwrapping something from a white blanket—Berry, his eight-year-old Spaniel. 

You don’t look one bit surprised to see him—you have been expecting him. You simply keep on tucking Berry neatly into the blanket, murmuring something along the lines of ‘it’s over now’ and ‘I’m sorry I scared you’. Berry offers you a small whimper in return, still startled and recovering from the loud ruckus. 

Chan inhales very slowly. Exhales. “What did you do?”

“I killed everyone here,” you say levelly, as if mass murder is no big deal. “You’re a little late. I thought your intuition would be keener than that.”

“This is no time for a fucking joke,” he snaps. Chan has snapped because he’s mad at himself. He has been living purely by his intuition for more than two decades already, without it he would have died a long time ago. Yet when it comes to you, he’s always the most irrational. 

Your lips twitch like you’re about to smile but realize he’s upset. “You’re right, sorry.” 

Chan moves further into the room, his shoes squelching with each blood-drenched step he takes. He takes the scene in once again and keeps calm because that is what he has trained himself to do ever since the first time he got kidnapped. When his gaze brushes over the corpse of his father, he tries not to think about anything just yet. What’s done is done but Chan can piece the scene together from the explosion downstairs—a bait that anyone will be eager to take and a good way to disarm your enemies—to the scattering of hole-filled bodies, their blood blooming against the marble floor like a grotesque bouquet.

The crux of it is you know all too well he will run to find you without question, lending you the space and time to kill whoever remains.

“Why?”

Your eyes sweep over the mass of bodies, dull and distant. “Does it really matter?” You don’t think it’s fair to say you did it because you love him; it will become a curse that haunts him for as long as he lives. Yes, you love Chan with your entire soul but you also simply want to act as you please, allowing yourself to have your selfish ways of declaring your love for him. 

His chest heaves without any stability. “I thought you said you’re used to taking many things but you don’t take lives!!”

You cut right in, all glass. “Will anyone be able to do anything about it? Can anyone possibly arrest me, Chan?” 

Chan shudders, a sour thing gnawing at the back of his throat. It’s a morbid feeling he knows will become recurring at night, on the bad days. Chan wants to be furious, it feels like a moral obligation to be. Then again, everything the world has learned about empathy is already torn up by his family, they smeared it beneath their feet like it’s common trash. In the end, all of his nightmares and source of fear amounts to this, a mass of corpses with no resolution. 

“Do you want to kill me, Chan? If so, do it. You’re your own person, you are free.” 

Your eyes have turned into ice, and suddenly you have become so intangible that Chan slowly grows afraid. He thinks of terrible things, Am I allowed to have you? What makes you want me so badly? Why am I different from any of them?

The sound of retching interrupts his train of thought. It takes him precisely half a second to stare at how you are folded over your knees, dry heaving at the marble floor with Berry fumbling for help right at your side. Chan rushes to you to keep your hair out of your face as you gasp for air, choking on stomach bile and body raking with shudders. Once his hand smooths over the fabric on your back, you eventually cough and hack out the last of whatever is left that your system rejects. 

You breathe as shallowly as you can. Quiet wheezes, hollow breaths that pull in and out of your lungs too quickly. Chan rubs small, gentle circles on your back and doesn’t expect it when you snap up to look at him with wide, pained eyes as though you didn’t just murder his entire family in cold blood minutes ago, like you didn’t just take out the Underworld’s most feared lineage of demons by yourself.

Chan decides not to say anything, lets you lean into him shakily, and tries to figure out what you’re attempting to do with your hands. Dry blood makes your skin itchy every time your fingers twitch but you don’t mind it. 

“I’m here, I’m here,” he finally whispers with you sitting in the circle of his arms; you’re shaking like you’re sobbing even though you make no noise and cry no tears. Chan lets you squirm with a wild mania in your eyes, frantic and lost. He can’t quite pinpoint what you want until he gets it. 

You stop shaking the moment your head leans against the left side of his chest, right where his beating heart is. A pattern in his rib cage and a rhythm in your ears, relief so immense you feel like you can finally breathe. What you want is just to hear the sound of his heartbeat. It makes Chan feel a little exposed, somewhat scrutinized but he really doesn’t mind taking himself apart to hand his heart over to you. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, your tone wet and warm with oncoming tears. 

Chan presses his lips into a thin line, feeling like a hypocrite when he keeps you caged in his arms. “What are you sorry for, silly?” From the bottom of his heart, it’s abominable, he thinks—that even amidst such gruesome bloodshed created by your own hands, Chan is relieved that you are not hurt.

“I’m sorry this isn’t real.”

fourth attempt —

Chan is coming home with you. The childhood home you used to grow up in with two extremely loving, a little too oblivious parents who never once questioned their daughter’s occupation in the big city. 

It takes time to adjust but Chan is sliding into your little family without noticing it himself. He manages to impress your mom with his cooking and discusses politics with your dad. You might be going delusional but you swear you saw him chuckling faintly at your parents’ terrible taste of reality TV. 

The house might only amount to one-tenth of his mansion but it smells like fresh laundry all around, tender and soft, smothered in the love of ordinary human beings. So everything just feels that much bigger, a love so warm and overwhelming it stains Chan’s eyes with unfamiliar myriads of emotions. It takes him a few days to finally laugh a little louder, not refraining his speech to specifically formal phrases, and allowing himself to nag you in front of your parents. He even makes a sound of disbelief when you keep telling them he’s only a friend from work.

“Oh my god, why are you so salty about it,” you chide and close your bedroom door. “If I had said you’re my boyfriend, they would have started investigating you!” 

Chan sits on the duvet you have laid on the floor for him—your childhood bed is too small to share—and mumbles something morbid under his breath, “I am quite good at tolerating any methods of torture thank you very much.” However, he doesn’t miss the look your parents give you whenever you bid them goodnight with Chan hovering over you in a way that’s nowhere near platonic.

You snort, actually, no, it’s too bitter for you to even react. “The worst they will do is leave you out when we watch TV,” you grin to relieve the inevitably building tension, shit-eating and all.

“That’s cruel. You know I love reality TV,” Chan replies, completely monotone. He flings an arm over his eyes like he’s putting in effort to mimic a dying body trying to convey his love in a Shakespeare play. Wrestling with like ten other housewives to buy those eggs on sale for your mom was more of a workout than any gun fights he has engaged in.

“Sleep. Mom said we’re going outside tomorrow,” you huff, tossing him a teddy bear from your bed—the amount of stuffed animals you own is impressive, they easily take up half of your bed so Chan had to accept his fate with the duvet. 

“I thought we’re heading back?”

“We will after going out with her. She said she wanted something from the bakery.”

Chan hums in response, his gaze skimming over the interior of your room again. Light pink wallpapers, white bookshelves and wardrobe lining the corners, and soft hues of blue on your bed and curtains to top it all off. “Truly, you are the designer of a generation.”

“Toddlers usually don’t like black. And I was eight, Chan, shut the fuck up,” you laugh, the sound so hearty it makes him want to bottle it and keep it all to himself like a child hiding his favorite candy. 

“Hurts my eyes a little, but I like it,” he declares and unwinds for the day.

You never realize you don’t really walk around town every time you visit your parents. Maybe it’s because you didn’t have many friends growing up, meaning there’s no one to call up for a hangout, or maybe it’s because all of the memories you want to relive here are with your parents, in the warmth of their home. So you walk down the sleepy streets with laziness on your shoulders, somewhat at peace when Chan can’t seem to keep his eyes in one place, secretly comparing the imageries of bright, colorful Seoul with this hazy rural area.

“What is that place over there?” He asks when you stride past a sketchy-looking building when in reality, it’s a spa run by this really nice old lady upstairs.

“Did you go to school here?” He ponders when you glance at what looks like a middle school; no kids are running and shouting in the playground since it’s the New Year holiday. 

Your mom notices how much curiosity Chan has for an apparent mid-twenties young adult so she giggles, offering to point out something she thinks he might be interested in, “That’s a small park Y/N used to play at. She wouldn’t leave when I came to pick her up after work.”

You can’t decide if you should scowl at your mom or burst out laughing at her implication that Chan, the leader of a notorious mafia group, should go and sit on one of the swings while she heads inside the bakery. “Come on, Chan,” you quickly make your choice. 

Chan sighs, though the sound is fond because he sees a sort of excitement blooming loud and clear in your pretty eyes. You have observed Chan long enough to know when he has given in so you laugh, turning to your mom and saying, “We’ll be back in a minute.” The familiar promise melts Chan inside out but he doesn’t tell you that. 

You accidentally drop your phone while walking down the stone steps so you turn away for half a second. And when you look back, Chan is seated neatly on the swing which is definitely not fitting for his age—his long legs dragging against the soil as his arms are crossed in front of his chest. As serious as he tries to look, you find the whole imagery so ridiculously unserious. He senses your gaze burning holes on the back of his neck so he stands, reaches upward, and lifts himself to sit on the metal bar that the chains rain down from.

“Chan, what the fuck, that’s not how you use a swing,” you chide, nearly rolling on the ground and barking a laugh. “If I take a photo of you right now, how dead am I?”

Chan doesn’t even need to turn his head. “What do you think?”

He looks down when your footsteps squish against the snow and he tries to imagine how a little you would hang around this place for an entire afternoon, up to no good things while waiting for your mom. “Concise as always, boss,” you purse your lips at him, nostalgia a heavy weight on the curve of your shoulders as you peer over places you used to designate as your hiding spots. 

Chan catches something shifting on your face and he ponders; why would you voluntarily involve yourself in outlaw doings when you could have had a perfectly normal life? “When did you start stealing?” 

“Probably when my parents sent me away for university. I hated it. School was hard and the expenses were awful for their bank accounts but they wouldn’t tell me that,” you mutter and decide to join him, legs dangling over the edges, a confession dragged from your lips unwillingly. 

Chan scoots a little closer, a hand reaching over to your left side to keep you from falling. “And you figured you were pretty good at it?”

“Nothing to be proud of, obviously,” you shake your head and can’t help a small grin. “Okay, maybe just a little. I was making money from racing on the side as well.” 

It takes him a moment to register your words when surprise halts the words in his throat. No wonder you’re better at handling car chases than any of his teammates who have been involved in this business for years. You look over at him, seeing that he’s having trouble reacting so you pinch his nose teasingly, “I know, so sexy, ain’t it?” 

Chan rolls his eyes, neglects the warmth spreading on his cheeks, and simply sits with you. The swing creaks and groans beneath the weight of two adults, rust staining his hand when he lifts it to check. 

“It was enough money for me to graduate and I was fine with that. Mind you I was always the top of my class,” you scoff, thinking of long days when you used to get little to no sleep, of when you had mustered the best smiles for your parents through FaceTime, of how you had begun not caring for how much money the jewels you had stolen were worth. 

None of it matters anymore, you think as you lean into Chan, and he lets you. “I’ll guess this, you were homeschooled?”

Chan doesn’t answer immediately as realization tightens his ribs. You don’t talk about home or how you grew up, and Chan doesn’t talk about his parents. Perhaps you both are similar in that way so neither of you mind when the other person never initiated it. “I was. Everything I ever learned was taught in that forsaken mansion. Most of it, actually.”

“Everything?”

“You can’t run away from what you’re surrounded with,” he says, and there’s a chilling edge to it, an icy kind of shiver that makes your fingers more numb than the winter cold ever can. 

“Chan, you’re not them,” you declare out of the blue, eyes crinkling up in adoration. “You are free, okay? No matter how hard they try to ruin you, you can’t become them.”

When you look up again, his eyes have a glassy shine when he says, “I know that now.”

“Don’t cry,” you huff out a breath.

“I’m not crying,” Chan shakes his head slowly, voice suspiciously shaky. “I guess I just thought you had a lot to live for and I was…you know, it was arrogant of me to keep you by my side.”

You laugh, a sharp, crisp bark of a sound that cuts right through his doubts. “Who do you think you’re talking to? If I wanted to run, I would have and no one could catch me, not now, not ever.”

“Well, I did,” Chan retorts, though there is no bite to it.

“Only because I let you,” you play along sedately. It’s the soft hum of your voice that makes breathing for him feel easier, and his shoulders feel lighter. When Chan exhales, it no longer tastes like the unfathomable, untouchable nightmares that he was so used to choke down, swallow, and not allow himself to throw them up as proof to show anyone else. 

Your mom returns perhaps in about an hour, a box tucked in her arms and groceries hanging from her elbow. “Time to go back,” she yells from the top of the stone steps. “We need to cook dinner, kids!”

You don’t dare budge. Chan notices it and nudges your shoulder gently, sensing your discontent. “You heard your mom, come on now.”

“I don’t want to go back,” you disagree. “Let’s stay here. I want to go to the beach with you when it gets warmer. And diving, kayaking, too!”

“You told me to leave my credit cards back home. You’ll have to feed me and pay all of my expenses,” Chan reminds you.

“Guess what, I left mine at home too,” you reply breezily. Maybe you both need to find new jobs. You don’t think Chan should worry about that because there’s nothing that he can’t do if he puts his mind to it, he’s just that great. Chan is the greatest thing there is, the best thing that has ever happened to you.

You watch rosy lips part, brown eyes widening as his grip on your shoulder falters faintly. “I don’t deserve good things, Y/N. I can’t stay here with you,” Chan says like he means it. “Tell me to leave.” He really is stupid until the very end.

“If you’re worried about that, I’ll kindly decline my spot in heaven and go to hell with you,” you assure him, your voice chirping with mirth but even that doesn’t seem to elevate his gloom at all. A groan. “Fine then, as the most wonderful person alive, I now denounce us of all our wrongdoings. And I announce us to be the best of normal friends as normal people!”

His solemn expression crumbles and now he just looks straight up insulted. “It’s supposed to be ‘husband and wife’,” Chan nags while fighting off a grin of his own.

A light feeling burgeons in your chest. “I thought you didn’t care about that kind of thing? We’re already doing laundry and taxes together, right? It’s not like we have enough money to buy the rings either.”

“I suppose I’ll have no say in that,” Chan sighs in defeat, finally smiling brightly as he reminds himself of what he has, and what he wants to become for you. “But I like to be with you as well. If you’ll have me.”

You look back at him, wanting nothing more than to burn those words into the flesh of your heart. “I already have you right here, don’t I?”

Because Chan’s existence is etched deeply somewhere inside your soul. And you love him everyday for that.

➥ Bang Chan x afab reader x Hyunjin (as main love interests, includes sexual encounters with other characters) — Gang AU, Drama, Dark Romance, Unsettling, Found Family, Crime, Psychological, Reverse Harem

⛔ — Not suitable for readers who might get triggered by rough play and/or themes of sexual deviance.

➥ The author chooses not to issue tags for everything that takes place in this work to preserve some element of surprise where applicable. By continuing, you accept to proceed at your own risk. Read full disclaimer here.

⚠ — Matriarchal gang environment, gang violence & organized crime, yandere themes, twisted gang loyalty practices, explicit sexual content, occasional MxM action & fujoshi tendencies, extreme hedonism (overindulgence in sex, drugs, and alcohol), original futanari characters, very strong language (occasional use of slur), death, gore, adult themes throughout.

〽️ Semi-exclusive content: The first two (short) chapters will be publicly available. Become a subscriber on Ream to have early access and read ahead. You can read the chapters for free six weeks after the original release date.

CONTENT · 「Coming soon」 • TBD

「READ」

SPINOFF FROM THE SAME UNIVERSE •  A Conversation With The Artist ➥ Original Story ➥ Interactive Remaster

「© 2021-2024, R. C. Skye · No translations, rewrites, or reposts permitted」

➥ Bang Chan x afab reader — Deviant Chef/Dream Controller AU, Enemies to lovers, Angst, Slowburn.

⛔ — Not suitable for readers who might get triggered by rough play and/or themes of sexual deviance.

➥ The author chooses not to issue tags for everything that takes place in this work to preserve some element of surprise where applicable. By continuing, you accept to proceed at your own risk. Read full disclaimer here.

⚠ — Adult themes, strong language, explicit sexual content, supernatural elements (dream control), self-love and anger management issues, sex as a coping mechanism, trust and intimacy building, less-than-ideal work environment, sexual tension, sexual deviance, themes of objectification & perversion, graphic fantasizing, overarching mutual corruption kink, depictions of certain kinks and fetishes which may be disturbing to some (everything is consensual—see respective chapters where applicable).

〽️ Semi-exclusive content: Chapters 1-4 are publicly available. Become a subscriber on Ream to have early access to new chapters. You can read for free starting in late February. Information post here.

CONTENT · 「Ongoing」 • Course I • Course II • Course III • Course IV • Course V (Coming Soon)

「READ」

「© 2021-2024, R. C. Skye · No translations, rewrites, or reposts permitted」

𝕊𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕄𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣𝕤

(A) They cheat on you and regret it (only chan and minho)

(F+A) When they feel insecure: Hyung line Jisung and Felix

(A) Stray Kids with a manipulative s/o: Hyung line

(A) When you sigh in front of them: Hyung line

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟 (𝔹𝕒𝕟𝕘 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟)

(F) When you refuse to hold their hand: Hyung line

(A + a little fluff but mainly angst) My Turn to Wait (one-shot)

(A) Guest (one-shot)

𝕄𝕚𝕟𝕙𝕠 (𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝕂𝕟𝕠𝕨)

(F+A+S) Lonesome Nights: part one part two part three (completed series)

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕓𝕚𝕟

(A+F) Cry Baby (one-shot)

ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕛𝕚𝕟

(F+A) Angel (drabble)

(F) Daisy (drabble)

(F+SG) Kisses at 3:00 A.M (one-shot)

𝕁𝕚𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕘 (ℍ𝕒𝕟)

(F) Rainy Days (drabble)

𝔽𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕩

(A+S) The Reason I Stay (stray kids mafia au series, continuing)

𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟

(A+F) Loved You All My Life (one-shot)

(A) Everything and More (one-shot)

(A) She Doesn't Know (drabble)

(F) Engagement Ring (drabble, loosely based on Loved You All My Life)

(A+F) A Tsundere's Guide to Loving Puppies (one-shot)

𝕁𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕚𝕟 (𝕀.ℕ)

“Can I sip yours?” You asked Jeongin, eyeing his coffee cup in front of him.

He nodded, “go ahead,”

You smiled at him, took his coffee cup, and took a careful sip, “Oh, it’s not that sweet. I like it,” you exclaimed, pushing his coffee cup back to him on the table.

Jeongin’s eyes darted at the lipstick mark you made on the rim of his coffee cup.

“Noona?” He called you.

Your head snapped at him, “yes?”

“Can we go to your place?” He asked, his long fingers wrapped around his coffee cup.

“Yeah, it’s cold to stay out, don’t you think?” you answered as you looked out to the snowed pavements.

Jeongin knew you would always say yes to him. You always bought him food, pinched his cheeks whenever he did something you found cute, you occasionally hugged him and kissed him on the cheek a few times without any hesitancy. He’s like a younger brother you never have.

Jeongin went along with it if that means he gets to hang out with you without feeling awkward, just like today, he took you for a coffee, and you said yes right away because to you, it was just a casual meet-up and not much.

“Maybe we can order some pizza later,” you said to him as you entered the elevator to get to your apartment floor, “what do you think?”

The question seemed to snap him out of his reverie, “yes,” was all he could manage to say.

Jeongin longing for the day you would treat him like you would treat his older hyungs, he wanted you to feel that tension you get whenever you’re so close to each other, and on top of that, he wanted you to see him as a man.

“You’re in luck. I cleaned the apartment this morning,” you told him, letting the door wide open to let him enter.

He took off his shoes and put on the slippers, he felt a tingle inside when he saw your shoes and his were next to each other on the threshold.

You took off your coat and tossed it along with your purse on your bed, “you want something?” You asked him as you got out of the bedroom.

He was taking off his coat and folded it, placing it on the armrest of the sofa. He looked at you rather blank-eyed.

“I have some fruits. Let’s eat that! We have to make room for pizza later,” you suggested, walking in the direction of the kitchen.

You took out some apples and a pack of strawberries from the fridge, brought them to the kitchen counter to start peeling them.

Jeongin approached you, “Let me help you,” he offered, rolling the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows.

You glanced at his toned, veiny hands with slender fingers adorned with metal rings,

“You’ve been working out a lot, huh?” You asked him.

He shyly laughed, “I think of starting to impress you with my body,”

Your mouth hung open at his unexpected reply, “oh,” you gasped, but your hand naturally reached for his cheek and pinched him, “so cheeky!” you told him.

There she goes again, he muttered under his breath.

He went on to wash the strawberries under the running water. You came up behind him as you were done peeling and slicing the apples.

“Just dry them quickly with the paper towel,” you instructed,

He nodded, his focus was centered on your hand rested on the small of his back.

“I have a bottle of wine that would…” you words trailed off, “Oh wait, you-”

“Yes, I am legal enough to drink, Noona,” he quickly remarked.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him, “I was about to ask you if you like wine,” you told him.

You pulled out two wine glasses from the cabinet and brought them to the table in the living room while Jeongin brought the tray with plates of sliced fruits on it and set it down the table, then sat next to you on the sofa.

You popped open the cork of the wine, you felt relaxed as the aphrodisiac scent of wine wafted around you. You poured wine into both glasses and handed one to Jeongin.

“Cheers,” you said to him as you clanged your glass with him.

Jeongin took a small sip then set his glass down on the table, yes he is legal to drink, but he needs some more time to figure out his tolerance for alcohol.

He took a piece of strawberry and shoved it into his mouth, you watched as he chewed on it.

“So cute,” you exclaimed.

He raised one eyebrow, “what cute?”

“The way you eat,” you replied.

Jeongin wiped his mouth with a napkin, “you should stop saying cute at everything that I do,”

You chuckled, “I just can’t help it sometimes,” you admitted.

“And stop pinching my cheeks,” he complained, picking a strawberry off the plate, “stop feeding me food like a kid,” he added, then brought the strawberry to your mouth, “says AAAA,” he ordered.

And you unconsciously complied, opening your mouth for him. He put the strawberry in your mouth, and you closed your mouth around it.

“How do you like being fed like a child?” He asked you as you chewed on your strawberry, and he wiped the juice leaking out the corner of your mouth with his thumb.

You felt bad knowing that he felt uncomfortable by the way you treated him, “I’m sorry that I made you feel that way,” you sincerely apologized.

“I want you to stop kissing me on the cheek too,” he muttered.

“But I kissed Felix on the cheek too,” you chimed in.

He laughed, “That’s because Felix Hyung likes skin ships,”

You softly laughed, “so that means you don’t want kisses from me anymore?” You teased, raising one of your eyebrows at him

He suddenly reached for your hand on your lap, “I want you to treat me as a man,” he told you, clasped his hand together with you on your lap. His foxy, sharp eyes fixated on you, “To be honest, Noona, I never looked at you less than a woman, you are so beautiful and carried yourself so well, and I find that really, really attractive,”

Was it the silence that hung in the air, or did his voice just go lower by the seconds? You became afraid he might hear the way your heart was beating out of control right now.

“I like how your cheeks redden either due to the heat or the cold, the way you rub the back of your neck when you’re nervous and how you would squeeze my elbow whenever you see something that caught your interest,” he said without stuttering as if those words had been there and he picked this moment to pour it all out.

He leaned in forward, hand now gently holding your hand by your wrist, “I want to make your heart pound when I am this close to you,” he said to you.

You swallowed by the proximity, your throat suddenly got all dry, “But I’m-”

Jeongin leaned in closer, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath and the tip of his nose grazing your cheek, “and yes, I know that you’re older than me,” his lips faintly brushing over yours when he spoke, “so don’t use age gap as an excuse,” he said to you before pressing his lips on yours.

You closed your eyes as he kissed you slowly, one hand holding you by your neck to angle your head to deepen the kiss.

Jeongin had been dreaming of how he would kiss you, but all that was thrown aside the second he realized he wasn’t made it up in his head anymore, it was truly happening.

He pulled away slowly, then all at once.

You sat there still with your eyes closed, relishing the moment that when you opened your eyes, you were startled to find him staring at you.

“So, can you start treating me like a man now?” He asked you.

You weren’t aware that his hand was still on your neck until he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, you felt the cold of the metal of the rings on his finger.

You nodded, “yes,” you breathlessly replied.

He leaned forward, closing into the side of your face, you heard him inhaling so close to your ear, sending a shudder down your spine.

“I have to make sure that you will not do that again,” he whispered.

He pressed a wet, tender kiss on the skin behind your ear.

Your eyes fluttered shut, surprised that he could easily find your sensitive spot like that.

His hand moved down the side of your body then down to your lap, where he rested his hand on your knee.

He pressed another lingering kiss on your neck as he slipped his hand under your skirt, rubbing the inside of your thigh.

You jolted on your seat at the bold move that your hand went to put a halt on him, “Jeongin, I-”

“Let me prove it to you, Noona,” he said with a rather soft tone, contrary to his piercing gaze at you.

You knew exactly this was a bad, bad idea. Yet somewhere in the back of your head, no matter how much you try to resist, you always submit to his wishes.

You retracted your hand from him, and he sighed in victory.

His hand glided down your thigh, closer to where you ached for him. Somehow you felt a sudden embarrassment knowing that you felt so aroused, and it was all because of him.

Jeongin eyes followed to where his hand disappeared under your skirt, he couldn’t contain his exhilaration as his hand finally landed on your clothed mound.

You watched as his mouth slacked open, the way he heavily breathed through his mouth. He didn’t waste time slipping his fingers underneath the flimsy fabric of your underwear.

Your hand gripped his shoulder in the anticipation of what was coming next.

Jeongin ran a finger down your slit a few times enough to make you drenched; he pressed his thumb on your clit before finally gently circling your bundle of nerves.

You bit your lower lip, and the fact that he knew his way around your sex made you feel more stimulated.

He began inserting one finger inside you, he moaned at how warm you felt around his finger.

He looked at your relaxed face, “I guess one finger is not enough for you, Noona,” he said to you as he withdrew his finger out from you then added another finger.

You gasped at the delightful stretch it gave inside you, squirming on the seat.

He steadily pumped his fingers in and out of you, intently listening to every noise you made, and you decided not to hold yourself back and let him hear how he made you feel from the pleasures he brought on you.

You arched your back, shamelessly grinding on his fingers, and he was more than eager to quicken the pace.

Jeongin curled his finger inside, eventually hitting you in the right spot, causing your toes to curl at the intensified pleasure. He pumped into you a few more times for you to finally cum on his finger.

Your head tipped back, reclining on the headrest of the sofa.

You let out heavy pants as the pleasure slowly dissipate. Jeongin placed a kiss on your cheek, “Noona, I want you to remember this now,” he said with his fingers still inside you.

You winced at how sensitive you were at the slightest of his touch on you.

“That I made you cum with my fingers,” he said to you as his foxy eyes intensely stared at you.

He then slowly pulled out of you, letting you feel that slow drag of his fingers against your wall. You watched as his fingers coated with your arousal, then without a beat, shoved them into his mouth and his lips closed in around his fingers.

You smacked your lips at the lewd scene unfolding before your eyes. He made a loud sigh once his fingers were out of his mouth, swollen and wet with his saliva.

Jeongin wasn’t expecting his first experience at the club would be like this, spending most of his time watching over you. First, it was the revealing top you wore to the club that barely covered your ample bosom.

Second, the fact that you huddled so close to Bangchan whenever you were talking to each other, he knew it was because the music was too loud but still, he hated the way you leaned so close to him.

Third, it was the way you dance, there was nothing obscene about it, you were swaying your body along to the rhythm, but something about it somehow attracted everyone to watch.

Jeongin saw someone closing in on you, and he was close to getting up and walking over to you, but Changbin got to you first, he put his muscular arms around your waist and ward the stranger away.

“Thank you, Bin,” you mouthed to him.

“Let’s go have some more drink,” Changbin gestured to the table you guys sat on.

You nodded.

He pulled you by your hand along with him, plopped down on the vinyl seat, and you sat next to him. Bangchan offered you new bottled water he had just opened for you

“Thank you,” you muttered and took a gulp.

“It’s your first time at the club, but why aren’t you the one having fun?” Changbin sneered, gulping his own bottled water.

Bangchan reached for his head and gave his hair a ruffle, “First time can be too much, right?” He kindly defended him.

Jeongin didn’t even put on a smile, he looked bothered even.

“Shall we call it a night, then?” Bangchan sensed that Jeongin wasn’t feeling it.

Changbin reclined on his seat, “It’s not half past midnight,” he sneered.

You looked at Jeongin, and when your eyes met, he quickly looked away.

“I agree. Let’s just go!” you added.

Changbin groaned, “Can we stay a little longer?” He whined.

You put on your jacket and fixed your hair.

“We can always go another time, Bin,” Bangchan said to him as he gathered his things from the table.

Jeongin stayed quiet the whole time, when the taxi arrived, he just leaned by the wall waiting for his turn.

“Let me take you home,” Bangchan offered, “Changbin and Jeongin can go in the next one,”

You shook your head, “No, you can go first,” you told him.

He stood there on the pavement holding the taxi door open, “I’m not going to let you go home alone,” Bangchan insisted.

You shook your head again, “You and Changbin can go home first,” you turned your head to Jeongin, “I want Jeongin to take me home tonight,”

Bangchan was taken aback by your request, “yeah, sure,” he wasn’t sure about your decision.

You looked over your shoulder to him, “Will you take me home, Jeongin?”

Jeongin didn’t expect you to ask him for such a favor, but he found himself instantly nodding to your request.

Bangchan nodded, “Okay, then you and Jeongin get in first! Changbin and I can get on the next one,”

You shrugged, “Thanks!” Then got into the taxi while Jeongin went in from the other side, “bye, text me when you guys get home!” You said as you waved bye to them through the window of the taxi.

Jeongin was unusually quiet the whole ride home, he would check something on his phone then put it back down inside his jacket pocket more than a dozen times that it started to annoy you.

You rested your head on his shoulder and felt him tense when you slipped your hand around his arm, “Wake me up when we arrived,” you said to him, then closed your eyes.

You weren’t actually sleeping; you merely closed your eyes and felt the calming rhythm of his breathing. Jeongin turned his head to your side, and you felt his breath on the top of your head.

You peeped through your half-shut eyes, your hand and his rested so close to each other on his lap. You wondered if he would hold your hand? or should you pretend to grab his hand in your sleep?

Not long after that, you felt a hand on yours, then his fingers slowly slipping through the spaces between your fingers, and you smiled at how hard he clasped your hand in his.

“Noona, we’re close,” he softly said to you, shaking your hand.

You lifted your head off his shoulder, “you’re coming to my place, right?”

“Huh?” He blinked a few times.

“Well, if you’re only going to drop me by my apartment building, that doesn’t mean you’re taking me home,” you said to him.

You didn’t have to use such an excuse to win him over like that, Jeongin was hoping he could get some alone time with you and to figure out if things change between you and him, and if yes, was it for good?

Jeongin got off the taxi along with you and helped you get off the taxi even though you weren’t the slightest bit drunk because Bangchan made sure everyone didn’t drink too much alcohol.

Jeongin pressed the button up on the elevator; you stood next to each other as you waited for the elevator to arrive.

“So, how’s your first time at the club?” You asked without looking at him.

“Alright, I guess,” he mumbled.

“Was it that bad?” You asked again as the elevator door slid open.

Jeongin let you enter first, and he followed you behind, he pushed the button to your floor, “I had fun,” he answered.

You rested your back against the cold metal wall of the elevator, “You mean you had fun watching over me the whole time?” You asked him, gazing at him.

“I didn’t-”

You shot him a knowing look.

“Don’t tell me you get jealous over your Hyungs,” you said, stood up as soon as the elevator dinged, signaled that you had arrived at your floor.

You walked out first, and he followed you from behind. You stopped right in front of your door, and instead of unlocking it, you leaned against the door to face him.

“You should stop being so jealous,” you told him, looking at him in the eyes.

Jeongin looked at you rather lost and sad, “I can’t help it. I just got so protective of you, Noona,” he honestly admitted.

You licked your lips, “you know when you’re being jealous like that… you look so cute!”

Jeongin’s eyes snapped open at you, “Noona, I told you not to call me that,” he complained.

You placed your hands on his chest, “Then maybe you should remind me why I shouldn’t call you that,” you pulled him close by the front of his shirt to kiss him on the mouth.

Jeongin was unprepared, but he was quick to return the kiss, his body closing in the gap, pinned you to the door with all of his weight pressing in on you.

His mouth endlessly captured you in his, switching between sucking and biting your lips. Once in a while, swiped his tongue over your lips before twirling it with yours.

If breathing wasn’t that necessary, you wouldn’t have pushed him away slowly, your mouth gaping open, running out of breath.

“You’re already taking me home, so…”

“Seriously?” He snapped, “you kissed me like that, and you…”

You shut him up with a quick peck on his lips, “I’m about to ask you if you want to come in?” You asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

His jaws unclenched at your unexpected invite, “yes,” he replied.

You turned around to input the passcode to your house, when it beeped open, you pushed the door open and entered your place.

Jeongin’s followed, his foxy eyes fixated on the back of your head, he watched as your hair swayed around with the movement of your head.

When you finally looked over your shoulder with a teeth-baring smile, he couldn’t find you any more enchanting than he rushed to come up to you and pressed his lips on yours again.

You were completely taken aback by it, you threw your hands around his neck, letting him steer you around the house.

“To my bedroom,” you breathlessly said to him.

You had been underestimating his strength that when he lifted you off the floor, you gasped in surprise. He carried you to your bedroom and when he put you down the back of your legs hit the bed.

You sat on the edge of the bed while he crouched down to keep his mouth connected with yours.

Your hands impatiently took off his jacket and started unbuttoning his shirt, he voluntarily unbuttoned it himself.

He let go of the kiss to stand up and slid his shirt off of his body, revealing his perfectly, sculpted abs.

It was only fair if you took off your clothes too, you tugged the hem of your top, seamlessly pulled it off, and over your head in one swift move.

Your hand reached your back next, snapped your bra open, then slid the straps down your arms, tossed it on the floor.

Jeongin looked down at your bare chest with his mouth hanging open, you were sure he froze right there and then.

“Jeongin…” you softly called him out.

He swallowed, “Noona, I never done this before,” he sounded so little when he said it.

“Well, do you want to do it with me?” You asked him, looking at him with unwavering eyes.

“There’s nothing I wanted more than to do it with you,” he answered, his hand hesitantly reaching for your jaw and tilting your head upward so he could plant a kiss.

You pulled him, sending him kneeling on the bed. You touched the soft skin of his chest, whimpered at how firm the taut of his muscles are, your hand lingered on the waistband of his jeans.

You glanced at him to seek his permission and he weakly nodded.

You kissed him again as you tried to pop open the button of his jeans with one hand, and when you finally succeeded, you went on to pull his zipper down.

Jeongin let out a heavy sigh when you slipped your hand inside his boxer and nudged his throbbing cock, you pulled it out of its confinement and pumped his length with your hand, you moaned at how hard he was for you.

You broke the kiss to catch a breathe, “you’re so big,” you told him with his face only inches away from you.

He cupped your jaws with his hand, “I know you can take it, Noona,”

You felt an inexplicable rush of pleasure from hearing those words coming from him. He pushed you down onto the bed and lowered himself on top of you, his mouth moved down to your neck, kissing you down your chest.

He left a trail of wet kisses along your sternum, he stole a glance at you before swirling his tongue around your nipple, and you moaned at how lewd the scene you were seeing.

He did the same with your other breast, wetting your hardening bud with his saliva then taking it into his mouth.

His mouth moved south, started a new trail of wet kisses down your stomach, and stopped right above the waistband of your jeans.

He got it undone in a few seconds; he kissed your clothed cunt before he easily pulled your jeans along with your underwear down your legs with his two strong arms. You shivered as your naked body was exposed to the cold night air.

Jeongin took his jeans off as well, kicking them off his legs and throwing them onto the floor.

You grabbed a condom from the bedside drawer then tore it open with your teeth, “let me,” you said to him.

He nodded at you, kneeled on the bed facing you.

You carefully rolled down the condom down his length and made sure it was properly secured.

“Noona,” he called you,

You looked up at him, “I’m so happy I get to do this with you,”

You chuckled at how innocent he sounded right now, “Don’t you think it’s too early for you to say that?”

He shook his head.

How come you didn’t find him cute when he was being adorable like that, he’s different from the other men you had been with and far better.

You pulled him along with you as you lay back down on the bed, kissing him and holding him as if he was your comfort pillow.

Jeongin broke the kiss as his hand reached down for his cock and aimed it at your entrance, you felt his tip grazing your tender flesh, and you arched your back aching for it.

He slowly pushed in his length inside, eyebrows furrowed with full concentration, and a low hiss escaped through his gritted teeth.

You close your eyes and moaned at the delicious stretch of his length easing down on you, and you were right, he is big with just the right girth yet surprisingly, you took him really well.

“See Noona? You take me so well,” he said with his face hovering a few inches above you.

You hooked your legs around his waist, and the action caused him to launch deeper inside you that caused him to grunt out loud.

You put your hands around his neck, arching your back to feel his whole length inside you, filling you completely and perfectly.

“And you feel so good inside me,” you hummed with pleasure.

Jeongin sank his lips on you as he started thrusting, he set a slow and steady pace, his eyes intently watching your reaction.

It was so quiet except for the skin-slapping sound of your bodies constantly pounding against each other that Jeongin started to question himself if he was doing it right.

He looked into your lust-clouded eyes, “Noona, you’re so quiet,” he softly said.

You weakly smiled at him, holding his face with your hands, “Cause you’re fucking me real good right now,” you shamelessly admitted, “are you sure this is your first time?” You asked him.

Jeongin got flustered at your indirect praises, “I want to make you feel good, Noona,” he spoke so low almost like a whisper.

“And you’re doing a good job at it,” you said to him, bringing his face close so you could kiss him.

And with that, Jeongin got so worked up that he picked up the pace, he began thrusting into you harder and deeper causing you to constantly moan as he hit your g spot over and over again.

You buried your head in his neck, “keep going,” you told him, your hands clutching on his shoulders.

You heard his low grunts as he quickened the pace of his thrusts, “Jeongin, I’m so close,” you breathlessly told him.

His thrusts became rough and intense as his grunts turned into raw groans.

He dropped his hands on each side of your head to gain some support as he restlessly thrust harder into you until you finally cum.

You cried out, gripping his arms and digging your nails into his flesh.

He slowed the pace to ride out your high then placed a sloppy kiss on your mouth.

With your eyes still screwed shut, you said, “oh my God,” you exclaimed, “that was the best I’ve ever had,” you said between your pants.

Jeongin rushed another sloppy kiss that landed on the corner of your mouth, “Noona,”

You opened your eyes to find him staring down at you, “yes,” you pushed the hair that was stuck to his forehead to the back.

“I really like you,” he sincerely conveyed out of the blue.

You stared back at him blank-eyed.

“I mean it,” he said again, caressing your cheek with his thumb, “I really, really like you,” he emphasized the word really to describe how serious his feelings for you were.

You nodded at him as a way to let him know you acknowledge his feelings toward you.

You gave him a peck on the lips and held his face close to yours when you said, “Now can you go clean up?”

Jeongin’s face turned sour in a second.

You almost laughed at how dumbfounded he looked.

“So, we can do it again,” you explained, combing the hair on the back of his head with your fingers.

“Huh?” He jerked his head back in utter confusion.

You brought your mouth close to his ear, “Let’s do it again,” you whispered, “and we can do it again later after that,” you pulled your head away to face him.

Jeongin gulped at your bold remarks that his cock twitched inside you.

It had been almost a month since the last time Jeongin saw you, he got his hopes up when Chan mentioned that you would come to the bowling game.

"She just texted me, said she couldn't come!" Chan announced in the middle of the game.

Changbin groaned, "I miss having her around,"

Chan shrugged, "she's been busy lately," as he wiped the bowling ball with a rag.

Jeongin slumped in his seat, feeling lethargic all of the sudden. He thought of things that probably went wrong when he was with you, was it something he said? Or something he did that could cause your absence?

Every thought that crossed his mind led up to the one moment where he conveyed his feeling to you that night, he should have known it would burden you, and he felt so stupid for it. He pulled out his phone and thinking of sending you a text message yet, he knows it would be better to talk to you in person to avoid any misunderstanding.

"Hyung, I'm going," he announced to Chan and Changbin.

"Where are you going?" Changbin asked.

Jeongin got up from his seat and put on his coat, "I have to do something,"

"I'll go with you then," Changbin offered, but Chan stopped him.

"Just let me know if you would be home late, okay?" Chan ordered.

Jeongin nodded, "sure," he answered, then picked up his wallet and phone from the table, "I'm going," then left the bowling alley.

Jeongin was afraid of his choice of time to come to your place, it was past midnight, and you probably were sleeping right now. Should he bail? He asked the question over and over again with eyes staring blankly at your apartment door.

His curiosity got the best of him, and his finger pushed the doorbell. He unconsciously held his breath the whole time he waited for the door to get answered. His heart almost skipped a beat when the door swung open, and you appeared from behind that door,

"Hey!" You greeted.

It took everything in him not to hug you right then and there, he missed you so much that when he saw your smile, his heart felt like bursting into a million pieces.

"Come in!" You told him, stepped to the side to let him in your place.

"Sorry for taking so long to open the door," you said as both of your went inside your place, "I was showering,"

"I thought you're already sleeping," he said, as he took off his coat and placed it on the stool next to the kitchen island.

You shook your head, "you want something to drink?" You offered, opening the door of the fridge, "Beers?" You asked, showing a can of beer to him.

"Sure," he replied, even though he wasn't feeling thirsty.

You brought the cans of beer and sat on the stool next to him, and Jeongin was quick to open the can of beer and hand it to you.

"Thank you," you muttered.

Jeongin opened his can and took a small sip.

"So, how's the bowling?" You asked with a sigh.

Jeongin took another sip before he could answer, "it was fun," he said, "it would be fun if you were there too," he added with a smile.

You chuckled, "I wish!" You said with a sigh, "I've been busy with work,"

You were always so lively and cheerful, and Jeongin got so sad that your eyes were heavy with exhaustion, and you sounded so restless, "is it that hard, Noona?" He asked out of the blue.

"You mean working?" You asked him with a chuckle, "Yes, but I got bills to pay, so," you drew in a sharp breath.

Jeongin sensed the bitterness in your words.

You glanced at him and suddenly felt so bad for giving him such a straightforward answer, "everyone has their own struggles, Jeongin! And you have your own struggles too, but it's okay, we'll get through it!" You comforted him and hoped it was enough to lighten up the mood.

Jeongin went quiet, and you quickly came up with something to ask him, "So, what brings you here?"

Jeongin hummed, "I just wanted to know if you're okay,"

You felt touched by his genuine intention, "I'm a bit tired, but I'm okay," you said to him, propping a hand under your chin and looking at him, "how are you?"

"I'm good," he replied.

You smiled at him, "Great!"

You took a sip of your beer as the silence hung in the air again.

Jeongin braved himself to ask you the things that had been bothering me all these times, "Noona," he started.

Your head snapped in his direction, "yes?"

"I've been wanting to ask you this," he licked his lower lip to draw him some more time to prepare himself, "when I told you that I like you, was it a burden?"

You looked at him with a puzzled look on your face. Yeah, you remembered sleeping with him, and he uttered his feelings during the sex, but you doubted it was for a real thing, so you took it half-heartedly.

"No, it was never a burden to me," you answered, "and I always like you, Jeongin,"

Jeongin smiled and let out a sigh of relief.

"But do you ever think that maybe..." you tried to put your words nicely to avoid hurting his feelings, "what you feel for me is probably a short-lived infatuation?"

Jeongin felt a twinge on his heart when you said it, deep down, he knew you would never take his feeling seriously.

You shortly placed your hand on his, “Jeongin, please, don't take this the wrong way,” you pleaded, “if you put yourself in my place, I think you would understand why I asked you that,”

Jeongin went quiet. It was clear to him that you are older than him and that there were a lot of things to think about, but he felt certain about his feelings and that it was real, it was love.

"Noona, I like you, and I want to be with you," he said it with his eyes deeply staring into yours, "And this is not just some silly crush. I want you, I want us to be in a relationship," he was panting once he finished talking.

You looked at him intently and smiled, "you want to be in a relationship with me?" you repeated his words to confirm that you heard him just right.

"Yes," he replied without a beat.

You chuckled at how eager he sounded, "But I'm hard to please, and I'm fickle," you teased him.

"I don't care," he said

"I'm a lot to handle sometimes," you said to him as you closed in on his face.

He shook his head, "I'll be a patient boyfriend for you,"

You try something else, "I have a lot of male co-workers,"

"Then I'm jealous of them for being able to spend 8 hours with you that you could have spent it with me," he said with a smirk.

You laughed, "I'm sorry I doubted your feelings for a moment. I just had to make sure,"

He closed his eyes and sighed, "I like you, Noona. And it's okay if you don't feel the same way, but please give me a chance?" He asked, his dark eyes sparkling under the fluorescent light.

You nodded, "alright,"

A smile bloomed on his face, "Can I kiss you?"

He looked so cute when he asked for your permission like that and got you instantly nodded at his request.

You closed your eyes the moment you saw him leaning in to kiss you, you felt his soft, plush lips pressing on yours, and his hand gently held the back of your neck.

He sighed the second you opened your mouth to him, his tongue swirling around and tangled it with yours.

You slowly pushed him away, feeling your lungs burning due to the lack of oxygen, “I need to breathe,” you explained.

He combed your damp hair with his fingers, "You must be tired," he said as he saw through your clouded eyes.

"A little bit," you lied. Somehow the kiss made you feel less weary than before.

"Let me take care of you, Noona," he said with a soft smile as he put a strand of hair behind your ear.

You raised an eyebrow at him, unsure what he meant by that.

He got up from the stool and held out his hand at you. You hesitantly took it, and he led you to your bedroom then lay you down on the bed.

"Just lay back," he ordered, and you obeyed.

He kissed you once and twice, you didn't even aware that he was taking your clothes off in the process until the cold night air touched your skin.

He kissed down your neck and chest, briefly sucking on your breasts before continuing his trail of wet kisses down south.

Jeongin dragged his lips along your abdomen, tugging at the waistband of your underwear, sending you sat up straight in a second.

"Jeongin, you don't have to," you said to him.

He lifted his head, his dark, foxy eyes looking straight at you, "I'll take care of you, Noona, don't worry," he said, then gave you a short kiss on the lips.

He pulled down your underwear, and you lifted your hips to help him take it off of you.

You swallowed as he parted your legs open for him, you saw him swallowed at the sight of your flushed, tender core.

You held your breath when Jeongin lowered his head between your legs, biting your lips at the anticipation of what going to happen next.

Jeongin glanced at you and saw your cheeks got red, "you're so beautiful, Noona," he said.

You weren't sure how to react to his praise when his head hovered inches away from your cunt, you smiled at him instead.

Jeongin turned his head to the side and placed kisses down your inner thigh, and every kiss lasted longer than the previous one. He stopped when he got too close to your core. He turned to the other side, dragging his mouth down your inner thigh and again, retracted his mouth once it got too close to your core.

You whimpered, it felt like your blood rushed to your core, and it was aching for him the longer he teased you.

He ran a finger down your slit and you gasped at the sudden contact, he did it a few more times until you got so wet.

"So wet," he murmured as he shoved his fingers to taste your arousal.

Jeongin grew impatient the longer he watched your core getting drenched by the second, he sank his mouth on your core at once.

And you let out a long sigh when you finally felt his hot mouth on your cunt.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of his plush, red lips savoring your cunt and the way he seemed so enjoying it with his eyes closed that you could see his dark lashes rested along with his lids.

Jeongin didn't hesitate to slurp on your essence and licked every drop of it, your hand reached for his head and tangled your fingers in his dark locks.

"Jeongin," you breathlessly called him.

He glanced at you, and you lazily scratched his scalp with your fingers, "that feels so good, baby," you said to him so he didn't mistake your silence again.

Jeongin felt a tingle inside at the pet name you just called him with, he sucked on your cunt a little too hard out of excitement, causing you to cry out and pull at his hair.

He rubbed your thighs as he started to stick his tongue in and out of your hole, while his other hand slipped under your leg, and rested it on the small of your back.

Your breath quickened, and it felt like your body syncing itself with him, you shamelessly grinding yourself against his mouth.

He took that as a signal that he was doing a great job at it, he kept sucking and slurping on your arousal, once in a while pressing his nose on your clit while his tongue was busily protruding your hole.

Your moans became louder and raspier, "Baby, I'm so close," you told him between your moans.

Jeongin picked up the pace, his tongue mercilessly licking, he opened his mouth wider to take your whole cunt and sucked it so hard until you let out a high-pitched moan, but he didn't stop, he kept on doing whatever he could to make you cum.

If it wasn't his hand keeping your legs open, you would've clamped his head between your legs, and he could feel your legs trembling in his grip.

"Baby, oh," you yelped, your head lolled to the side when you climaxed, "Jeongin, baby," you screamed as he sucked on your cunt one more time to finally get himself off of you.

You collapsed on the bed, body convulsing as a flow of overwhelming pleasure rushed through you.

He lay down next to you and kissed the top of your shoulder, putting a hand around you to calm you down.

You turned around to face him, mouth searched for him with your half-shut eyes, and placed a long sloppy kiss on his lips with the taste of your own arousal.

“You take care of me really well," you said to him. You could barely keep your eyes open, heavy with drowsiness.

You kissed him again, "can you stay with me tonight?" You asked him.

Jeongin smiled at the offer, for a moment he thought you wouldn't ask him that.

"Sure," he answered.

You let yourself melt into his embrace, and he pulled up the duvet over your body, "Goodnight, Noona," he whispered to you with his hand rubbing your back to lull you to sleep.

When Jeongin woke up the next day, he got frantic to find himself alone on the bed. He reluctantly got up and looked around your room, trying to find any sign of where you might be.

A moment later, you appeared from the bathroom already dressed for work, you beamed a smile at him the moment you saw him awake on the bed.

You walked up to him and crawled onto the bed, "Good morning," you greeted, placing a quick peck on his lips.

Jeongin smiled back, feeling so relieved that you hadn't left for work yet, "Good morning, Noona!" He slurred his greeting, "why didn’t you wake me up?"

"You sleep so tight. I couldn't bring myself to wake you up," you answered, combing his tousled hair to the back with your fingers, "you look so cute when you're sleeping," you added.

He glared at you, "I told you not to call me that," he said then flipped you over and pinned you down on the bed.

You giggled and closed your eyes as he leaned in for a kiss, the kiss lingered for a moment before he dragged his mouth down your neck.

"Whatever you're trying to do, you better do it quickly because I have to go to work," you told him.

"Don't go," He whined at you and being so adorable doing so.

"I have bills to pay," you whined back.

You glided your hands down his body and eventually landed on his morning wood.

Jeongin hummed when he felt your hand on his erection, he brought your hand inside his pants to let you hold it, "what are you going to do about it, Noona?"

You pushed him down on the bed, "I'll take care of it, of course!" You said.

You pulled his pants down enough to let his cock out of his boxer, you licked your palm wet enough with spit then began slowly pumping it down his length.

Jeongin put a hand under your head and pulled you close against him.

You set a steady pace of your pumps along his length and watched him getting relaxed by the second with lips connected with yours.

With one hand, he unbuttoned the top two buttons of your shirt so he could cup your breast with his hand. He continuously moaned into your mouth as his breath quickened, and you hastened the pace of your pumps on his cock.

You yelped when he roughly grabbed your breast as he reached his climax, his heavy sigh felt hot on your cheek.

He placed a slobbering kiss on the corner of your mouth, "I'll provide for you, Noona. You don't have to work anymore," he casually said.

You burst out laughing on the top of his head, "Tempting," you slyly remarked.

You drew your hand and licked cum that dribbled down the back of your hand and around fingers, you maintained eye contact with him when you were doing it.

He took your hand and kissed the back of your hand, "don’t go," he begged, sulking like a child.

You sat up and started buttoning your shirt back, you would be lying if you didn't feel the slightest bit sad for leaving him as you looked down at his beautiful bare face and weakly smiled at him, "I'll give you the passcode to my place and you can come whenever you want, okay?" You said to him.

Jeongin felt giddy at the promise of having free access to your place whenever he pleases, but that means a lot more because you trust him enough to do that, "Okay," he agreed.

Your smile grew wider as the compromise was a success, then gave him a long peck on the lips before finally getting up from the bed.

He caught your wrist to stop you and said, "Have a good day at work, Noona," with that sweet smile of his.

"Where are you?" You asked him through the phone as you got out of the car you had just parked.

"I'm out front, Noona," he answered.

You looked around the front of the restaurant and saw him waving his hand up high to let you see him, you waved back at him then hung up the phone.

You half-jogged to him, "why didn't you wait inside?" You asked while you were still steps away from him.

"It's okay. I've been here just now," he said to you, holding out a hand at you.

You pouted, "But, it's cold," you crooned as you took his hand and clasped it with him. You saw his ears and cheeks redden from the cold, "let's get inside," and dragged him to the entrance of the restaurant.

"It's so nice to share a dessert," you exclaimed as you scooped a piece of cake with your fork, "I'm always torn between two desserts, because one dessert is not enough, but if I order another one, I can't finish it,"

Jeongin smiled as he took a small piece of the cake on the shared plate and shoved it into his mouth.

"Do you like it?" You asked.

He nodded, "It's not that sweet, I like it," he replied.

You smiled because your choice of cake got his stamp of approval.

"Noona?" He called you, he said it so low, and it was because you were sitting close next to each other you could hear him calling your name despite the chatters from the other people that filled the restaurant.

"Yes?" You turned your head in his direction and set down your fork, he always called you out like that when he got something to say to you.

Jeongin dabbed his mouth with a napkin before beginning to speak, "I'm going to Japan this weekend," he announced, "and I'll be busy this whole week, I don't think I can see you until I come back from Japan," his eyes intently looking at you.

"How long will you be there?"

"5 days," he replied.

"So, that means you'll be back next Tuesday?" You asked again.

"Wednesday," he corrected.

You nodded again, "okay," you said to him.

Jeongin blinked a few times because you gave him the kind of reaction he didn't expect.

You were aware of his perplexed look,

"What is it?" You asked him, half-laughing.

"You okay with that?" He asked in disbelief.

You chuckled, "Yes! Because I know that it is a part of your job," you reached for his hand on his lap and intertwined it with him.

Jeongin's mouth was slightly open, he was in awe of your understanding but also a little disappointed since he was hoping that you would be sulking since you won't be able to see each other for over a week.

You leaned in closer, "Were you hoping that I would stop you from leaving?" You asked.

Jeongin felt his heart leap, wondered if you read his mind but his body couldn't betray his brain and nodded.

You softly chuckled, "of course, I don't want you to leave," you admitted, leaning in so close and resting your chin on his shoulder.

He turned his head at you, "Really?"

"In fact, I'm missing you already," you said with a pout.

Jeongin smiled at how cute you looked right now, and the words you said to him made his heart overflow with joy, "then you should think of something to stop from going," he said with an eyebrow raised.

"That's easy," you said, you brought your mouth close to his ear and whispered, "I would tie you to my bed and keep you for myself," you seductively said and intentionally let your lips graze his earlobe as you pulled your head away.

You saw him blushing profusely and looked down on his lap, you knew well enough his ear is his sensitive part, and you got him real bad.

You softly laughed at his adorable reaction, "you should be excited," you playfully added while rubbing the small of his back.

You saw in your peripheral vision someone coming toward your table, and you recognized her as a colleague from work.

"Hey!" She said the second she potted you, "Having dinner?" She asked when she finally stood by your table.

"Yes," you answered, "we've just finished!" You noticed she came with someone else, "are you on a date?" You guessed.

She rolled her eyes, "Just someone my mom set me up with," she said, her eyes hovered to the guy sitting next to me.

You glanced at Jeongin, who quietly listened in on your conversation and that your friend had been looking at him with curious eyes for a while now,

"This is my boyfriend," you immediately introduced him.

You saw her eyes widen, and it was either in wonder or completely baffled by it, you couldn’t tell.

Jeongin smiled at her, and she gave him a quick look over. "Nice to meet you!" He beamed at her.

There was an awkward silence afterward, and she took it as a signal to leave, "I'll leave you guys to it then, bye!" She said.

"Good luck with the date," you said back before she finally left the table.

You continued munching on your dessert, but you felt Jeongin's eyes on you, when you looked at him, he was staring at you.

Flustered, you asked, "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Instead of replying, he leaned in and gave you a quick peck on the lips, and it took you by surprise because he was not the kind to flaunt skin ships in public.

"What's that for?" You asked.

"That's for being my dessert," he said with a gleeful smile that made his dimples appear, and now it was your turn to blush profusely.

Jeongin couldn't stop thinking about that one moment in the restaurant, he kept replaying the way you confidently addressed him as your boyfriend without a hint of doubt that made the butterflies in his stomach flutter alive.

He couldn't stop looking at you with adoration in his eyes, even when you were driving and eyes focusing on the road ahead, you looked so radiant to him.

"I could have taken a taxi so you can go home, Noona," he said to you as the car stopped at a red light.

"But we only have a little time left together," you said to him.

He hated to be reminded of it and you sounded so sad when you said it that he felt a twinge in his heart.

When you pulled up at the parking lot of his apartment building, both of you stayed quiet inside, and the silence was the comfortable kind that none of you wanted to break.

Jeongin looked at you, and you looked back at him with a knowing smile, you both leaned in until your lips met in the middle and melted into one long, dizzying kiss.

He held you by your jaw and angled your chin with his thumb so he could kiss you deeper. He sighed when you opened your mouth to him, tongue invaded the inside of your mouth and twirling it with yours.

None of you know how long you had been making out in the car, but if it wasn't because you were running out of breath, you probably wouldn't stop.

Jeongin went on to give you a peck on the lips as he held your face with both hands, "I should go," he said as he continued placing small pecks around your face.

You began mewling as he pecked your cheek then moved up to your forehead.

"I should go," he said again but didn't stir in his seat.

You softly chuckled, "I know, baby,," now that he pecked on the tip of your nose then landed a long lingering kiss on your lips.

"No need to get out, it's cold," he commanded and pulled you into a hug.

You stayed like that for quite some time, enveloped in his embrace and warmth.

"I really have to go, Noona," he said again with a heavy sigh.

You slowly loosened your hold around him, but he took your chin and kissed you so hard.

"Bye, Noona," he said as he fixed his coat with one hand lingered on the handle of the door.

"Bye," you said with a little pout.

When the car door swung open, you tugged at the sleeve of his coat and pulled him for another kiss, "I'll miss you," you said the moment you broke the kiss.

He smiled, "I miss you already," he said back then stepped out of the car, "call me when you get home," he said before shut the car door behind him.

You waved bye at him through the windshield as he watched your car leave him away.

Jeongin expected a surprised look with a big smile on your face, but instead of that, you looked confused when you found that it was him ringing the doorbell at night.

He was hoping you would jump at him for a hug yet he had to meet with another disappointment that was the silence that hung as you both just stood there by the door looking at each other.

"Jeongin?" You stuttered, "didn’t you just land like two hours ago?"

He nodded, "yes, I came here the second I got the chance to leave," he answered.

You stepped away to let him in then closed the door behind you.

He was taking off his shoes when all of a sudden, you hugged him from the back,

"I miss you," you murmured against his back,

"Now, that's the kind of welcome I was expecting," he honestly admitted, placing his hands on yours around his waist.

You mewled, "I thought you would take some time to rest before coming here," then tightened your hands around his waist.

Jeongin let go of your hands and turned around to face you, putting your hands back around him.

"I can rest after I see you, Noona," he said to your face then sank his mouth on yours for a long, deep kiss that slowly melts his weariness away.

He placed one hand around your neck, and it made you realize how much you missed having his fingers wrapped around you like that.

Long, slender fingers that always adorned with rings and his rough finger pads that always gave you a tingle down the spine the moment they touched your skin.

Jeongin let out a sigh of relief when he let go of the kiss, relieved to know that you missed him just as much and relieved that he felt like he truly came back home.

"Did you even have dinner yet?" You asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

He shook his head.

"Let me cook you something," you offered, slipping your hands inside his coat and rubbing his side.

No matter how much he hates being called cute, he couldn't deny that he likes when you take care of him, it gave him a sense of comfort and the assurance that he can rely on you.

He nodded with a smile.

You ended up cooking him ramyeon, you felt bad because you planned on making him pasta, but you didn't want to make him wait too long.

"I will eat whatever you make, Noona," he assured you as he sat by the kitchen island and watched you cook.

Jeongin found himself enjoying you waltzing around the kitchen and looked natural doing it, you noticed him watching you as you stirred the noodles in the pot.

"Good thing I'm cooking ramyeon cause there's no way it would taste bad," you joked.

Jeongin smiled when you served the steaming bowl of noodles in front of him,

"What about you, Noona?" He asked since you only served a bowl.

You sat next to him, "I already ate dinner," handed him the chopsticks and spoon.

"I'll eat well," he said as he began digging his chopsticks into the dish.

You intently watched as he ate voraciously, "it felt weird that I'm the only one eating," he said.

"I'll eat with you then," you relented and took another set of chopsticks. You took strings of noodles and shoved them into your mouth.

Jeongin took the other end of the noodles you were eating, and you laughed at what he tried to do with you. He slurped his end of noodles until his lips met yours and gave a quick peck.

You ended up the one who bites off the noodles then began laughing along with him.

Jeongin felt so content even just lying on the bed with you, pecking on your face with your limbs tangled around each other. The bed was big enough for the two of you but felt so small as you kept pulling each other's bodies on one side of the bed.

"I miss you so much, Noona," he said as he placed a tender kiss on each of your closed eyelids.

Your eyes fluttered open the moment he withdrew his mouth from you and found his eyes gazing at you, "I miss you too," you muttered, you lay your hand flat on his chest and felt his heart beating so fast.

You stared into each other's eyes and found ease in being in each other’s presence.

He propped an elbow on the mattress to look down at you, there were so many things he could say to you, but words wouldn't do justice to what he tried to convey to you.

You cupped his jaw, "you must be tired," you said, thumb rubbing the exhaustion drawn under his eyes.

"I'm alright," he assured and lowered his mouth on yours for a kiss that steals your breath away, a kiss that escalated things further as a piece of your clothing tossed onto the floor.

You tipped your head upward to allow him access to your neck, let him freely make a trail of wet kisses down the column of your throat.

"Jeongin, I have something to tell you," you told him, and he instantly halted his kisses.

His head perked up with jaws tensed.

"It's nothing serious, relax," you immediately told him and softly scratched his hair with your fingers.

He brought his face close to you, "you can tell me anything, Noona," he said to you earnestly.

You smiled at him, "I'm on birth control now," you told him, but the serious look on his face didn't change.

"I started taking the pills earlier this month so," you elaborated then raised an eyebrow at him, "we can do it without a condom," you spoke so slow to let the information sink in, "only if you want to, of course," you quickly added.

Jeongin blinked a few times when he finally caught on to what you said to him, but it was too much for him. First, it was because that means you trust him enough to let him do that, and secondly, he got too excited that his cock started to throb.

"Do you trust me that much, Noona?" He asked you and brushed your cheek with the back of his hand.

You nodded, "yes," you replied so low it was almost inaudible.

Jeongin was sure his heart just flipped when you heard your reply, and all he could do was melt into your arms.

You understood that he was just as thrilled, but you couldn’t ignore the fact that he must be tired.

"Let me take care of you now," you said to him and rolled over on the bed.

You pinned him down on the bed with your legs on each side of his body, your hand glided down south to stroke his already hard cock. You kneeled and scooted forward then aligned his cock at your entrance and carefully ease yourself down his length until his cock filled you completely.

You let out a satisfied moan and placed your hands on his chest. By looking him straight in the eyes, you began slowly rocking your hips back and forth.

Jeongin kept on swallowing, he couldn't contain all these emotions he felt at once and ultimately, how it felt to be inside you raw and got your wrapped around him tight like this. His eyes couldn't stop lusting over your naked body sitting and straddling him, he looked through his half-shut eyes the way your breasts bounced when you began moving.

"You're so beautiful," he breathlessly said as his hand reached up to your chest and rubbed a hand down your sternum.

You smiled at him, "you didn't say that because you're inside me, right?" You jokingly asked him.

He weakly smiled and pulled you by your neck, insisted you bend down so he could kiss you.

He hummed against your lips as you kept on rocking your hips, and you softly giggled at how sloppy his kisses were.

You withdrew yourself and back to straddling him, hands steadily laying flat on his chest for support, and kept the motions going.

You switched up the pace and your movement once in a while to find the one he prefers, you grind on him so slowly that he let out a loud moan.

"Like that, baby?" You asked him.

"Just like that," he breathlessly replied.

You continued grinding on him to the one he preferred and set a steady pace, you started to find the rhythm and enjoy yourself as well, touching yourself and cupping your breasts, letting out a few low moans at the delightful feeling of riding him.

That view only put Jeongin closer and closer to his edge, you looked so enticing like that, fucking him and feeling yourself at once that he clawed your thighs so hard.

"You feel so good, Noona," he whimpered, hands moving up to your waist and gripping it tightly.

His praise made you clench around him caused him to groan out loud, you sensed that he was coming closer so you picked up the pace, riding him faster and harder, your body screamed out in exhaustion.

He guided your hips to help you keep the motions going, and you ignored the pain of his nails digging into your flesh. With your head thrown back, you forced yourself to keep moving with the remaining strength you have left in you until you felt his cock twitched inside you.

"Cum inside me, baby," you muttered between your broken moans.

Your words just nudged him right, that a moment later, Jeongin let out a raw groan as he climaxed, and the grip on your waist tightened, then loosened in the next second. You slowed down yet kept riding out his high, you looked down at his face slacked in pleasure and the way his cock repeatedly twitched as he cum inside you.

Jeongin sat up on the bed and enveloped you in a warm embrace, your body was slick with sweat, but that didn’t stop him from peppering your shoulders and neck with kisses.

When your mouths met, he kissed you rather passionately that he didn’t give you a chance to take a breath.

"Noona," he softly called you with his forehead pressed against yours.

Your eyes automatically found his, "yes,"

He made inches of space between his face and yours then held your face with both hands, "I love you,"

You felt a chill down your spine, it never crossed your mind that he would say those words at the early of a relationship.

Jeongin was aware of it too, "you don't have to say it back," he muttered, tenderly caressing your cheek with his thumb as if you are something frail, "I just want you to know,"

To be honest, you felt bad for not being able to return the words to him. You just couldn't bring yourself to lie about your feelings to him.

Jeongin tipped your chin upward and placed a tender kiss on your lips.

You woke up in the middle of the night, your hand groped around for a body lying next to you, and found nothing but the crumpled sheet.

Your eyes snapped open, and looked around the room for him,

"Jeongin?" You called out but there was no reply.

"Jeongin? Baby?" You tried again, louder this time.

He appeared in the doorway of your bedroom while holding a bottle of water in his hand,

"Are you calling me, Noona?" He asked.

You slumped on the bed and sighed in relief, "I thought you left," you told him.

He climbed onto the bed and got under the duvet with you then kissed your bare shoulder.

"Why would I leave you?" He asked back with his face hovered above yours.

You awkwardly laughed at your own stupidity, but something kept tugging in your chest, begging to get out, "I felt bad for not being able to say it back to you," you finally admitted and avoided his eyes when you spoke.

Jeongin sighed, "now I regret saying it to you if it only makes you feel burdened like this,"

"No, don't be," you convinced him, shot him a reassuring smile.

Jeongin stared into your eyes, "I just wanted to let you know how I feel, Noona,"

You nodded, "I know, and I never felt him happy, Jeongin," you paused to catch his chin with your thumb and index finger then tilted his head downward at you, "you make me so happy,"

Jeongin was more than eager to kiss you with the angle of his head you put him on,

"You know that I really, really like you, but please give me some time,"

He shut you up with a kiss, "Noona, just being with you makes me happy, and it's enough for me," he softly explained.

Your heart overflowed with warm and fuzzy feelings from his words, you weren't sure it was love, but it felt almost like it.

"I just need to be sure with it," you said to him, putting your hands around him.

He kissed the tip of your nose, "I know," then smiled.

You couldn’t help but smile back at him, that's just how infectious his smiles are.

He lowered himself on top of you while maintaining eye contact with you.

You giggled and shivered when your nipples grazed his bare chest that you accidentally let out a low moan.

He kissed you rather too quickly and pulled away.

He deeply stared into your eyes with his face hovered a few inches above yours, then said, "Now, let me take care of you, Noona,"