mr burnham. @burnhham - Tumblr Blog

why did it take me nearly 10 years to realize Kristen Stewart wore contacts in Twilight

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kingcheddarxvii

If someone says “I love u” and you say “I love u 2” back, make sure you add “no Bono” so they know you mean that you love them too, not just the legendary Irish rock band U2

side note would anyone be interested in buying my 3DS, I bought it then literally did not play it and it's sitting doing nothing give it a happy home

I never knew love was real until my boyfriend gave me his login to his steam account with 40+ games

#I love procrastinating finals

tamarrud

Learn to defend against a bigot grabbing your hijab from behind!

In this post-election hate-crime spike, self defense is more important than ever. Practice this move until it becomes muscle memory and teach your body to react before thinking.

(via Zee Abdulla)

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scriptscribbles

“Reality is a difficult concept for liberals,” Trump supporters proclaim as they proceed to believe that fictional character Leslie Knope is a real person.

thechubbynerd

Even fake women are a threat to them this is hysterical

this election was a fucking joke

#i'm so disappointed

today while walking to my car I tripped on a cape I was wearing and then I spilt the bowl of meatballs I was carrying, exclaimed "my balls!" looked up and made direct eye contact with my ex boyfriend

#why does this happen to me

choppedandfoodnetwork

Please ask Bo if he has ever burned a ham.

Hahaha I might be 1000 years late replying but this made me chuckle

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does anyone know the name of the girl who plays the waitress in the music video for one bad night? (by hayley kiyoko) ???

#i know i recognize her i just cant think of her name to further investigate #hayley kiyoko #one bad night

cheeso

one time I was really high and I wanted food so I went to target and I was really paranoid everyone could tell so I bought toothpaste b/c I thought it made me look responsible

burnhham

I FORGOT MY SIMS FAMILY NAME WAS WILLIAMS SO I JUST NAMED THEIR NEW BABY WILLIAM

WILLIAM WILLIAMS

burnhham

u think I would learn...I just named a baby adam adams....why am I like this

Ur cat is so beauty,,who is she

thanks i love my cat

#Anonymous

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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tell me why both times I saw suicide squad the thing that got the most laughs was Harley Quinn getting punched out by batman

#violence against women is hilarious!

foulserpent

i call all my friends after 20 years of no contact and invite them to visit me at my house, which is a farm in the middle of nowhere. they approach the farm gates and i appear looking like this

sneeking

..go on…….

foulserpent

i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches

brightereyes

accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows

foulserpent

i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.

brightereyes

i say nothing

foulserpent

at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you

brightereyes

Thanks

foulserpent

youre welcome

#a single triscuit

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